Ok first off guys and gals. Don't get angry with me

I'm not shallow, I'm trying to break the habit of that! Because I found out that 90% of the time people I'm normally with are insanely hot but insane!

OK so I'm a 26 year old. Attritive guy. I always went with the most popular girls in school and the best looking girls in the work place. It was my thing. Envy of my friends. But I found that this life is pretty empty

Anyway if had some fun times as of late.

And I'm with this new girl. She chased me a lot. So I thought why not ill give it a go. And I think I found someone I can really connect with on a personal level. And I must say I really really like it.

But she knows the type of girls I've been with and. She goes why are you with me when you could be with the.. Pretty.. types. I told her that its not that important.

Now she isn't ugly by no sens. But she isn't that typ of girl I would go for. Now before people start saying don't be with her then if you don't think she is pretty or your type, I'm trying to break a habbit, and I like being with this girl..
:) but here's the thing.
Is it wrong to want to make her more pretty? Like have her workout in the gym with me. And get you hair done etc?

She knows what I'm like. Vain and shallow but I am trying to change I don't think someone who is like that. Would be on a site like this. :)

Do you think this is wrong?

As I said girls and guys don't get to angry with me about this post. It shows I'm growing up and looking for something more than just a hot chick.


Regards

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

it shows im growing up and looking for something more than just a hot chick.

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No you're not. You're not looking for a hot chick. You found a not-so-hot chick and you're trying to turn her into a hot chick.

There's nothing wrong with wanting for your girl to get some exercise/get her hair done (in my opinion)... but by the way you're talking about it, you're making it seem like you're too good looking for her.

If she wanted to look different, she would have done it already. She seems to be happy the way she is. You should be too.

Dating a girl isn't a way to "break a habit"...

I'd write a post under mine frantically apologizing to the women on this site that'll bury you alive. Sorry dude.

Hold on for a rollercoaster ride, with an explanation at the end.

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

im not shallow, im trying to break the habit of that!

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If you aren't shallow, then why should you have to break the habit. Apparently you ARE shallow and you know it.

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

90% of the time people im normally with are insanely hot but insane!

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And you are one of the 10% who is "normal?" Oh, yeah, Hot Normal. LMAO, gimme a break.

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

ok so im a 26 year old. attritive guy. i always went with the most popular girls in school and the best looking girls in the work place. it was my thing. envy of my friends. but i found that this life is pretty empty

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Yup, pretty empty to be sure. You know why? You can't fit a bunch of people in a shallow pit.

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

someone i can really connect with on a personal level. and i must say i really really like it.

but she knows the type of girls iv been with and. she goes why are you with me when you could be with the .. Pretty.. types. i told her that its not that important.

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Wow, you spoke volumes here, you may just be digging yourself out of the shallow pit you were in.

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

is it wrong to want to make her more pretty? like have her workout in the gym with me. and get ya hair done etc?

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Yes, it's wrong. On many levels. Do you want her to change you?

You can never change a person, only they can change themselves when and if they so choose.

Now, here is where I get serious.

You are a very vain and shallow person, you already know that, so this is nothing new to you. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty may be looks, they fade... breasts sag, bottoms go flat, gravity runs it's course.

However, intelligence grows. From reading your posts you place more importance on your looks and what kind of beauty that you date versus intelligent you are, because you are definitely not intelligent. Sorry to be so blunt, and I'm sure to get a reddie here, but I don't care.

Personally, if I were a hot beauty, the kind you are attracted to, I wouldn't date you because you can't spell, your grammar is terrible, and your punctuation is atrocious. And, yes, that is shallow too, but what is beautiful to one, is horrific to another. You have to take the good with the bad, the ying with the yang.

Beauty runs skin deep...

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Originally Posted by J_9

Personally, if I were a hot beauty, the kind you are attracted to, I wouldn't date you because you can't spell, your grammar is terrible, and your punctuation is atrocious. And, yes, that is shallow too, but what is beautiful to one, is horrific to another.

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Oh, mama! You took the words right out of my mouth! Looks like he has a bit of work to do on himself before he starts trying to fix up anyone else.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Oh, mama! You took the words right out of my mouth! Looks like he has a bit of work to do on himself before he starts trying to fix up anyone else.

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I have to spread the love WG, but, if I were not married, I would never date a man, gorgeous or not, who was not my intellectual equal.

J_9, I couldn't rate you either, so I supported your comment the only way I could.

If your not attracted to someone, then that can't be helped. But to demand or even just to ask them to change for you is wrong. Like previously stated, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you care about her, care about who she IS, not who you want her to be.

There really isn't much I could say that hasn't been said already. You are shallow, and admitted as much. Work on yourself, don't make others feel like they have to be a certain way for you.

Ouch :) well thank you guys for your reply I'm sorry if upset anyone I really didn't want to do that. I know I am shallow and I am just trying to make a change. I guess its wrong what I wanted. I'm still going to try and change though sorry to have upset you J.9

And J.9 if you were a hot babe... babe. You would date me because that's the typ of people they are turned on by. That's why I wanted to change my patterns.

As for my spelling and gramma, I'm still learning english :) Danks/english

I won't go over my good points on here but we have my bad points out in the open. Now can someone please tell me how to fix this :)

And not tell me what I already know. And not how they won't date me because I'm shallow or. Can't spell. Or this and that.. lala.

I do know I have to work on myself! Any tips for that

Hope to get a reply from someone that doesn't think I'm attacking them because there a bit fat or a bit skinny old or whatever





Thanks for the reply guys

Any more advice would be idea :)

Regards

You come off as really full of yourself. I'll tell you right now, your relationship isn't going to work if you sit there and think about how you want to make her better looking all the time and if she's going to always wonder whether she's good enough or not. Don't go out with her for your benefit, to change yourself, go out with her because you're attracted to to her. Whether its her humor, personality or looks. Everyone comes in a package.

Personally, I wouldn't want to be with a guy because he wanted to "give it a go."

It is nice that you care about her on a personal level, but I'm still turned off by you.

... and it's "attractive"

Thank you Rocker. Of course you are turned off I'm probable going to anger a lot of people out there.
. But thankful this is a place where you can post what you think and how you feel.

I don't come off this way in the real world don't worrie. Other wize yeah id never get anyone ;)

And a reply like yours is very good and is the best advice I got :)

I'm going to give you some slack.

maybe its cause I'm a guy.

why does any woman buy lingerie? Its to visually and mentally impress her man most of the time... though you could say a confident woman would look at herself, say "i rock", and if the guys doesn't agree, he knows where the door is. That said, is it as much fun when you can't show it to anyone?

wouldn't most of you be disappointed if your man shrugged it off when you slipped into that sexy dress, as if it couldve been sweats?

is it wrong for you to want her to look a little different? Yes and no.

my wife hates it when my hair is too long. She hates me with a beard. She likes me to be fit. These are all things that amp up her attraction. Its not wrong.

I like her runners legs. I like her italian hair when its wavy and shined. Love her toes painted. Is it wrong? no.

so... your impulse isn't wrong at all. You like what you like and you are trying to find an in between. The girl you can connect with mentally and physically. Good job. Ill be the first to say it.

as for the other side... you don't get to be with someone with the expectation that they will change. How would you feel if a mate told you that you could no longer go to your monthly poker party with the guys? It shouldn't work that way.

I do think its important for couples to try to do some things to please each other. My wife knows the kind of clothes that turn my head and she tried to fit it into the routine. She knows what physical attributes I favor and she tries to tease me with them.

key thing is all you can do is tell her what you like about her, and tell her what you might like. After that, its up to her.

if its not enough for you, well at least you are making your way out of the slime pit step by step. =)

Thank you Kp :) that's great.. yeah ill do that with her I always tell her what I love about her :)

Her personality is great she is cute and she treats me really well :)

Yeah I am making my way out bud or at least trying to :)


Dude So true about the

)))))((wouldnt most of you be disappointed if your man shrugged it off when you slipped into that sexy dress, as if it couldve been sweats((())))

It is important but its not the be all and end all :)

Many thanks

Regards

You're on the right track, and I think that the more you get to know someone the more they will become attractive to you, physically and mentally.

That was my point when I started :). J.9 just got way to hurt by it all. Can't reply to anything if your hurt or angry.

That's what I've found a girl that I'm very... attracted... to mentally. I've always had the physical side always, and its very nice to find the emotional one :)


Thank you rocker :)

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

thank you very much for your advice.

it was really amazing :)


i guess your one of the ugly people? you took it so personal. but why..

i am really good looking i do get tons of chicks. i can't help it its true.. i work as a model. you have probable seen me on those CK underwear boxes. the typ of guy you fantazie about while your with ya man or women whatever. the typ of stuff people want to better them selfs to be?

thats what all them make over shows are about. to be more like what i am. the social typ of hot. if you saw me you would drool its a fact.

i dont know why we can't say this stuff to people. hey ya ugly or hey ya hot. or hey ya smell.

Like you. if you work behind ya desk typing all day eating candy getting fat.. people can't say oh hey girly girl. your packing on the pounds there?


or if ya face is a bit strange. go wow. thats a strange head you got there.

i am just trying to change my self though :p.

even when im older i will still be hot :P

i always get agro from the ugly ones. but i just put it down to there own issues


bye di bye XxX

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Thanks for the PM, however I don't respond in PMs.

I did not get all hurt or angry. Quite the contrary. People like you are so shallow so as not to see what is important in life. You're too busy looking in the mirror than taking time to smell the roses.

What is beautiful to you, may be ugly to me and visa versa.

Oh, and you definitely are NOT the type of guy I fantasize about. I like men who are intellectual and not so full of themselves.

Glad you think so much of yourself, but I can guarantee you I would NOT drool over you.

Wow... This guys is just too much, he came to this forum why? The beauty of the internet is that you can be anyone you want and say you're hot and are very attractive but in reality could be a World of Warcraft computer nerd. The fact that he doesn't know how to talk proper English speaks volumes. He talks kind of what is commonly known as "hood" "hey ya kinda fat" come on. I'm not here to bash anyone, but don't come to this forum expecting realistic advice when you're being cocky. You could be attractive on your appearance but have the beauty of an ugly beast on the inside. So you have dated all the "popular" girls in HS... Congrats, look at where they got you. If you want advice, my advice is go see a shrink and find out what you are so shallow and feel the need to try and change a woman who seems to be "perfect" for you but you want to change them none the less.

B.T.W - I am really Brad Pitt and I am not seeing Angelina anymore, so I'm single... HA HA

Changing someone to better suit your needs is growing up? Growing up is knowing you CAN'T change people.

Leave this girl alone, enough with your sick experiment of "can I learn to love her?"

You're shallow and she deserves somebody better.
You fell in love with HER: not who you WANT Her to be.
I wouldn't change for you.
I'd kick you to the curb.

Damn skippy.. No one can change someone, you have to want to change for yourself. And obviously she likes the way she is. So she has self love for herself, but you don't. Your insecure in what people will think of you because you have all these "hot" ladies around you all the time and then you "downgrade" to someone like her. Now you're probably going to come on her and brag about your modelling careeer and all that nonsense, and even if I say you're probably brain dead with no intelligence you will counter by saying "you have a Ph.D and a 4.0 in college" so I would love to get into a battle of wits with you, but sadly you are unarmed. If you don't want her or have to learn to love her, let her go, she will find a lot better.

And Pam, why haven't you returned my phone calls?

Lots of this going around lately, the inflated ego.

Listen Truefaith, I too am very self confident in matters relating to physical appearance. However, you need not write your question and pepper it with compliments about yourself, it really does show how vulnerable and perhaps not as confident as you say you are.

If a guy/girl is attractive and dates attractive women they let that suffice, they know they are hot and what they can attract but have no need to announce it to anyone, actions speak louder than words right?

As for your PM to J9, that really is too much. What made you write that dribble is beyond me and it exposes you for what most people here see, a FAKE. In your head you may be a supermodel (though I doubt you actually think that) but in reality you come across as being a fool, not for your writing but for how you conduct yourself. I can't imagine any girl hot or not being attracted to someone with your idea of themselves, but I also doubt you think your better than most, I really think this is a defence mechanism. IF you say it we'll believe it, but not many do.

You are right about one thing, you do need to change or rather just start being yourself before you "woo" all these ladies to your intoxicating smell and show them your CK briefs:)