I have been with my fiance/ex fiancé for 10 months and just last week she told me she wants to "go on break." I am 35 and she is 22. She lives an hour & a half from me. Since we met we have spent almost every weekend together due to our work schedules. I drive to see her on Friday afternoon & come home Sunday night. I also drive to see her one day during the week. She lives with her parents and is close with them so I always go there. Anyway she is adopted and a few months ago found online her biological mom,dad and sis. So we planned to fly and see them last week. For a few weeks before our trip we've been bickering about minor stuff. She said it was her being stressed out and I added to that stress. She said there was something missing and it has nothing to do with me... shes says I've been "perfect". One night I overheard her tell someone that she "loves me....but "isn't sure if he's the right one- how do you ever know" and that I'm "always up her ." I confronted her about it and she said she doesnt know why she said it. I give her plenty of space. When were not together she either goes to a friends house or meets a friend at a bar and drinks. Just recently she said she would like more girls nights out on the weekends since shes only had a few in 10 months. I have no problem with that but she said she was scared to ask me. She says everytime she goes out we get into an argument. Sometimes this is true but all I ever asked of her was to "every once in a while text me"...she feels she shouldn't feel obligated to do so. So the night before we left to see her family that shes never met I confronted her as to why shes been so cold and distant...she had no response and no reaction so I left her house to see how she would react. A 1/2 hour later she texted me saying how I'm the nicest guy shes ever met and I deserve better than her. I came back to her house and she said she wanted to take a break and that she wont wear the ring on our trip to see her family and she wont introduce me as her fiance but she wanted me to come with her and meet her biological family. Half the time on our trip she was cold and distant and half the time she was ok. I told her I didnt want to lose her and she told me "don't worry.. you won't" I also asked her when shes going to wear the ring again and she said "eventually". The 3 days Since we got back from our trip she's texted me but only once in a while and she called once. I don't call her and only respond to her texts but never text 1st. I don't want to lose her... she has everything I've wanted. I know she's serious about me because several times we looked at houses together and she has wanted to have a baby. She's very trustworthy and always texts me and tells me what she's doing even though I never asked her to.What should I do? Please help

Back off, give her some time and space. Did you ever hear the saying if you love something let it go,.

That's what I've been doing... I don't call her at all and I don't text her unless she texts me 1st

You are doing the right thing... If she comes back to you it was meant to be. Give her more time

Thanks... thats what I was thinking

Hi.she sounds confused and she's going through confusing times meeting her biological parents etc. She s also quite young.I d step back from the situation and ask myself what do I really want and need from a relationship myself?hope this helps.

Thanks- you did help... I haven't called her once and don't text her unless she texts me 1st. I mean if she really wanted to break up then why would she want me to go visit her new family? The day after we got back she thanked me for coming and said she was glad I came with her.

She doesn't know what she wants nor where she s going at the moment.but you r hurting and I think you should look after yourself first.

She does sound like she's extremely confused. Finding her biological parents is a huge step for her. You're just going to have to be patient to let her sort things out.

Just be there for her to support her. She will let you know when she wants to start things up again. Until then, don't give her anymore pressure. She will find you when she's ready.

Focus on doing your own thing for now. I sorry to pull this out, but she's only 22, she still has to find herself, so be patient with her.

Thanks... thats what I'm trying to do... its so hard because I miss her so much. We literally use to talk or text all the time except when she was out with one of her friends.

I think that's one of the hardest bits you miss the things that were good.try to stay busy.see and talk to your friends .cry if you feel like it.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ed-383837.html

You have issues that you both need to work out before you have babies. Support her through these times as she needs to resolve old issues, and for chrissake, stop acting like a spoiled kid when she goes out. She is an adult albeit young and confused at this time.

Where is communications and commitment? Love and support? Understanding, and honest expression?

Should I offer her support/help since I was with her when she met her biological family or should I just back off completely? I haven't contacted her at all unless I'm returning her text message

I'm very upset today because its been 5 days since we got back from our trip and its 7pm and I haven't heard from her at all... not even 1 text message. Should I send her a text asking how her day was or just completely NC ?

Stay with NC, she wanted space so be the better person and give it to her

Leave her alone, and take this time for yourself, as worrying about her gets you nothing, but anxious and upset. This is what she asks for, this is what you give her. Its not easy being in limbo, but that's your choice also.

Respect her wishes.you re doing NC for you not for anyone else.its not a magic wand that's going to bring your relationship back. Its to help you heal.

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This is an update of my last post from a week ago... It's now been 1 week since we got back from our trip to meet her bio.parents and the first 4 days after the trip she was texting me a decent amount and telling me what she was doing each night. The last 4 days I only heard from her once but didn't text her back until a day later. My aunt says that her meeting her biological mom and dad and finding out they were atticted to drugs/alcohol must have been traumatic being that if she wasn't adopted she would have had a horrible life. My aunt said along with her adopted parents and her 2 or 3 best friends I'm the closest person in her life so she has taken her anger/stress/frustrations out on someone and I was the logical choice being that her adopted parents are great and her best friends are her rocks. When we were on our trip I asked her how long before we end the break and she said "you'll know when I'm ready because I'll let you know". I also noticed on her myspace she never deleted me or the 100 or so pics of us with all the love captions. The only thing she deleted was the pics of her ring. I mean she said I never did anything wrong--I think she's just in a funk from finding out her bio parents are messed up and her sis (that she adores ) that's her age is 10 hours away which she said is very upsetting. My question is should I contact her at all(cuz I want her to know that I'm here for her and thinking of her)? How long should I wait before I drive to her house to get my ring back?(I'm afraid if I go to soon she'll think I'm not willing to wait and not taking the break seriously) Should I email her and lay it all on the line so that if she wants to 100% end it she could or give her the chance to start fresh with me?

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My ex-fiance dumped me almost a month ago and last week I went to pick up some belongings as well as the ring. I noticed in her room she still had 4 pictures of us up (all with my arm around her) and on her myspace she still has 100 or so pics of us up (including pictures of us kissing etc.) I asked her if she sees a chance of us getting back together and she said "maybe- you never know what the future holds". She also said I could call her once in a while. Its been a week since I got my ring back and I only contacted her once to ask her about a guy that I thought she might be seeing. All morning we argued over if she cheated on me or not through texts and calls. I decided to do no contact after that to see if she would contact me in some way. After 5 days she texted me with just a "hey how are ya?". I answered her... but my question is should I try to remain friends with her and periodically call or text her or just disappear? I desperately want her back and I know she is just really young and confused right now.

Now is when you need to think about you.go NC-NO CONTACT and don't react to the drama.read the stickies-its all in there.