I know there is a lot to read but I'm in need for some serious help and advise...

I have been with my fiancée for almost 4 years. When we first started going out I was given the impression that it was not something that was to become too serious as she just wanted to have some fun. She had come as an Exchange student and was supposed to stay for 3 months. I shortly found out that after being with her for after a few days that she had a BF in her home country (almost 4 year relationship whom she live with) but they were arguing a lot so they went on a break. So I was the rebound guy... which didn't really matter at the time. After a couple of months being together it started getting serious and she told him that it was over.

All is well so far..

She said she wanted to stay longer and finish the rest of the year with me. After 4 months we had just moved in together ( she needed to find another apartment and I moved in with her) she wanted to visit her Friends and family in her country. Guess where she stayed? Yep most of the 4 weeks she spent there was in her EX BF's flat. At the time it didn't really bother meas I wasn't really taking the relationship seriously. But later on in the year she went to visit again and this time I told my parents who slaped some sense into me. I was very upset when reality set in, thinking about what could be happening even if she didn't do anything, I'm a guy and I know most guys and if I was in his position I would try very hard to accomplish something emotional and sexual.

I spoke to her and told and she told me that she would never stay there again and that nothing ever happened, (unfortunetely everyone can lie) she was sleeping on the sofa and him in the bed or the other way round anw..
Point is she was making out like I was the bad guy, and only until recently when things have been sturing up between us, did I confront her with this past issue and found it unbelievable that supposidly she didn't see the harm or problem staying at his place. Even if I could have fully trusted her it's the Principle, if it were the other way round? She didn't like it when I said that.

I don't know how many people thinks I'm being unreasonably or unfair, but I also told her its either him or me, recently one night when we were arguing, and she actually paused and replied 'i Don't KNOW'
After seeing my face and replying YOU FFFFING what etc, are you serious you need time to think about something like that... you get the picture.. she finally said me, I told her I wanted her to stop talking to him, (I also told her as a person I have no problem with the guy (I have met hime when I went with her on holiday), but it's the fact that its her EX) I can't have it anymore, so she said she would delete him from her phone.. (which doesn't make much difference cause they never call each other.. at least when she is with me) which she hasn't done cause I checked plus she has another phone for when she goes abroad, she still has him on Facebook, and lately she has changed her Facebook and email passwords, although she knows my passwords. And she also has hundreds of pictures with him, them etc I even had a proper look through all of them today (cause she is in her country again visiting) and found a pic of them making out, her in bed in a hotel they were staying in, sitting on his lap etc (it pains me to see these photos.

I believe I am reasonable, she can have memorable photos of her friends including him, but its like its being rubbed in my face, or is she really that stupid and doesn't realize how it would effect me.

I don't want to even have to tell her to do these things, she should do them out of respect for her partner. I don't have a single pic of my ex's.

I have kept this in for 3 or so years thinking it will pass, my parents don't really like her, and my two older brothers have fallen out with me because of her and because I'm still with her( I'm not getting into this it's a lot of long stories).

The thing is I do really love her and I know she loves me, and I know that we have had loads of fun in the past ans still can now occasianely but is that enough? I know it needs to be resolved some how and I'm lookng to you as outsiders, strangers to give me advise. Is she really over him (I told her as well, I don't think she gave herself any time to ever get over him... ). She doesn't like lying but seems to avoid answering a lot of serious questions, like are you over him, I never got an answer.
I believe that we are together because we are used to each other, as I told her we are prob better off in our own countries. Even the one time we said we would break up IT WAS done very cival which didn't last long.. about a day actually.. because all I could think about is all the little good things and times.

Of course there is a lot more to this story (its 4 years worth) but I'm trying to give you guys the picture and main issue at the moment.

It sounds like she is clearly not over him yet and is trying to have her cake and eat it too.

You need to save yourself the heartache and cut it off with this girl. She will probably beg and plead, but she already made the decision for you by behaving the way she was. Especially when she responds to you with "I DONT KNOW", how can she not know? Sounds like she is unable to commit and let go of her past.

Sad story, time to disappear from her life and get a better one. You have wasted enough time.

Why not do yourself a favour and walk away from all the drama?
You know it's time to go live a life that doesn't include your girlfriend.

Walk away from this, you have invested too much time and no payoff. Cut your losses and start healing on your own.

4 log years and still have the EX factor!
Something has to be wrong . You need to move on.
Be brave!You know your family is very important, they love you and they want to protect you.
They feel it when a girl wants to do you wrong. In your heart you know it :She's not the one!
Move on , you will find support here if you need.