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HopePixie · Sep 8, 2012, 08:12 PM

I lived with my boyfriend in the same
House for 3 years. We shared everything together. I have a son
From my previous marriage, and he was pretty much
Like a family guy in all aspects with my son and I. He took on the role and responsibility on his own, I even spoke to him about this from the beginning.
Its normal to have ups and downs, argue and nag about dumb stupid things or dumb actions, but we always worked them out.
When we met it was
Amazing and up until 2 months
Ago, he was so nice and giving and supportive, he's
Always been a good person. But ever since he ran out of unemployment
2 months ago. Things took a wrong turn. No money coming in. he would be a little more upset or would yell without notice,
Hang out with his friends until late at night or sleep until
4 am or text his friends until late. And I would complain
About that. Yes I complained over and over. He never noticed his change of behavior,
And took my complains as fights.
And we would argue or nag about stupid things. And I would do the same thing, mainly because like I said of his behavior change. I understand now that he was restless and stressed. We always occasional had our
Arguments but we worked them out always.. on labor
Day we had a nasty fight. He told me" i can't take this
anymore, i don't know
what do, i hate everything," I told him, "what can i do, im here but if youre not happy, or whats going inside your head doesn't make you happy then you can
leave, leave , leave ,leave? then he said, "I freaking
Hate this, we are living like
Dogs we no money". he got a loud attitude something
And i became so sad and upset and told him " it is an attitude like that that makes me
Wonder if I love you." i said all of those things because i
was sad and upset, not
intentionally i never meant to hurt anyone or him or
myself. it just escalated. then he left for many hours
without even saying bye. I knew he was sad. he came back like around 1 am and told
me" I'm taking some time off.. I'll come back in a two days.. maybe.. Or I don't know I need time to steam off my friends said I should" "either that or I'll drop them off and come Back but don't touch me and I won't talk to you for a while until I want to"

that hurt me so much. that really devastated me and
made me so sad and angry because i couldnt believe he wanted to leave..or not try to make things better.

The emotions i felt were horrible. i told him fine take your
things, i put some of his clothes in a bag, and told
him to leave.
I never meant to tell him to leave but I was so sad and frustrated. And i regretted so much, i should had done things differently.
he went back to his parents. and of
course, for some reason he felt it was a good idea to get others people
opinions. he called and spoke to me for 10 minutes

and told me: i need time off, to find a job, and find
myself and do things i want without thinking about
your and your son, if i think about you, i won't be able
to function, because ill keep thinking about you guys.

i told him but its 3 years of memories and plans are
you throwing all of that away. please don't do that. i
cried so much. and he still said, i need this time off,
please dont say that you love me and need me,
because ill drop everything to go back with you. and i
know i can't do that until i do something for myself. i can no longer provide for me or you guys.
i told him that life is never secure, you can never be
ready, you take things as they go, and if you have
someone by your side that loves you it will get better.
but he didnt budge.
he said, "I love you don't forget
That but right now I need time off. Maybe a few weeks or months or even
A year." he took that advice from his godfather. i cried
and told him no please, dont run away, we can work
it. but he said, "we might get back together but not
Right now. But anything can happen in the mean time,
Good or bad."
im so devastated i know he loves and i love him. im
going crazy. my son misses him. he wont pick up my
call or answer my text. he only text me one time and that was to stop texting him,
that he understand what i want but that needs time
off.
hes ignoring me completely and acting like he doesn't
know me. like i never meant anything to him.

and now his sister is butting in and telling me to"move
On already sheesh. I don't want to see my brother
Stressed anymore."this coming from a woman who
took a guy back 5 times, and has kids from 3 different men. im afraid that the opinions of others will control his mind. that he will listen to people that know nothing
about our love, our struggle our life. it hurts me that
hes listening to people he has not spoken to in a long
time. They only know him as the brother and son. Not the lover or confidante.

we love each other so much. and him losing his only income
and being tight on money just made everything so
bad.
i keep thinking negative things. that he might find
someone else, or just completely forget about giving
our love a second chance.
i miss him so much, and just want him back and we will make our life better and try harder. but he wont listen,
i think he doesn't love me anymore. or those
people already brainwashed him.
how do i know this,because when i spoke to him after 2 days he
spoke about me moving in with his parents, but it
turns out his mom said no that there was no space. this lady never liked me because i have a child. so of course shes not going to be supportive of what his
son wanted. shes probably glad we broke up. and it
seems he cares more about others, people that
havent done anything for him, instead of caring about
me. and what i feel and my opinion.
He and I made plans about having kids. Everyday he said he loved me and would never leave. Always thru thick and thin.. im devastated

**update. He came over to take his undergarments today 9/7/12
And still told me he loves me but that needs to do his
own things and find a job and still needs his time off. I
told him oh so what's the time frame? He said I don't
know ok! But right now I don't want a relationship or
anything until I get my life together. I told him in deeply sad
that youre acting like we never shared plans or
memories. He says I need time for myself and I can't
do this If I keep thinking about you. he says he loves
me and that might get back (but that theres no
guarantee but it isn't discarded also) I told him I'm not willing to wait specially not so long.
He's an amazing guy, so sweet and giving, but
everything took a toll on us. And it pains me that he
forgot about us and that Our love is not worthy of a
second chance. I tried my
best. Bit there's nothing I can do now. Although it pains me
deeply.

**another update: After he left today I texted and said :" read my letter, I
Love you and I'll give you your time off. If its strong
We'll be back soon. If it wasn't I'd appreciate it if you
Let me know. Ok bye love you. This is my last text"
Two hours later he called me and said ( agitated and
overwhelmed and upset) He said "please if you respect me give me
This time off. Stop texting me for now! I see your texts and it makes me so
Restless. Please ijust give me some time to think and
See what happens.
I repeated what I told him on the text. He said" please just let me have this time. I'm hurting and you're hurting. I just want to distract myself my mind is
going crazy. "
I got teary eyed and told Him I know! Just let me
Know if you have already or plan to forget me and
Us and our plans. He growl"I can't say that ..ugh! please stop!
My mind hurts. Let me at least find dis traction!

I told him tell me if uou still love me and will make things better Or if you have thrown eberything to the trash. I can't do this it hurts to much" but he didn't answer and woyldnt give me a time frame on the time iff he's asking. I was like okay. It's your choice now. You know how I feel. I love you. Bye .then he hung up.

He's always been sweet and loving . The tension took a toll on us.

But I love him so much and miss him terribly and I hope he things about our love and our 3 wonderful years.
I only asked him for a second chance. Like he gave his other girlfriend. I think me and him deserve a second chance.

I'm so sad. Because he keeps saying he loves me.

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