Me and my 7 year boy friend broke up, after that day it appears that he was courting someone else... but its truly unfair because we had 7 years relationship just to dump me like that when he found someone new... what should I do to win him back? His my life, my entire life from high school to college life we're together... now I feel like I lost everything I have no reason to live and to do things... please help me, tell what should I do to win him back... help

No contact.. He shoulndn't be your life. I promis you this from a guys point of view. If you sart dating or he hears about you going out having phone he will be calling.. DO NOT CONTACT HIM FOR AT LEAST A MONTH..

Best way to get a guy back? Get over him, completely and totally.

Of course, then you won't WANT him back.

Life isn't fair, honey. I say that not to be mean, but to point out the reality of the situation. You need to live for YOURSELF, not some schmuck that would dump you after 7 years for some stupid chick he met and wants! Would you honestly tell your friend to go out with a guy like that? I wouldn't! So... why the heck do you WANT him back?

Cry, mourn for the relationship, but DON'T LET THAT JERK BACK INTO YOUR LIFE! He's so not worth you! You deserve better!

Synnen & crushedovernover: thanks for the advice... I been trying to get over him because its been a month but the harder I try the harder for me to cope up... I'm longing for him so much since we haven't been talking I know I should really be so angry for what he did, but I guess the love is greater than angriness.
:(

I don't think you can win them back, they have to want to come back. But not contacting them is the best thing you can do.

DJ1963: thanks for the reply... okey ill try best to do that

Quite honestly, the more you TRY TO GET OVER SOMEONE, the longer it will take because you still focus your energy on that person. By trying to get over someone, you still let them occupy your thoughts. STOP!

You will get over someone in due time. TIME is the only remedy for these situations. But the point is, there IS A REMEDY. You have to accept the pain and loss, you have no choice. The first thing you must to is STOP THINKING ABOUT GETTING HIM BACK.

Once a relationships goes on "break/breaks-up", you can never go back to it. You're longing for the safety and the comfort of what you knew, not just the guy who left you.

IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. You have to realize that at some point. Feel your pain and do what you must to MOVE FORWARD and whenever you find yourself looking back, remember HE GAVE UP 7 YEARS to court someone THE NEXT DAY!! Who in their right mind does that? No one who is mentally and emotionally sound.

Also STAY BUSY. WORK, WORK, WORK. If you don't want to go out with friends because you aren't up to it, STAY AT WORK LATE, WORK HARDER, GO FOR A JOG.

YOU DON'T WANT THIS TOOLBAG BACK!! YOU WANT THE SAD, LONELY, DEPRESSION TO GO AWAY. Don't confuse what you think you feel for what you really want. TIME will make it better.

You'll come out a much better person after this ordeal. And you'll BE FINE.

--Cali

ilovcali: thanks for the enlighting message you know this the most darkest moment of my life because his my best friend to, that's why its hard that I lost a best friend and my boyfriend...
You know its really hard yeah the more I ignore the feeling the more I feel the longingness
For him... I do miss him a lot despite everything...

Hi I'm the one who post the "how would i win my ex boyfriend back" (about me & my b7 year boyfriend broke up... then the next day he courts a new girl)... earlier this forum,
Now I'm asking from all the advice that I'm getting they say that I should leave him alone and try not to communicate... the thing is I'm trying my best but the more I suppressed myself from trying to communicate with him the harder for me...

"my question is physical distance like going abroad or somewhere every far would do much
help for me... because every now and then im tempted to go to him and see him every though we broke up already...."

Please start here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...sh-114179.html

Just stay with us on this one..

We will help you through the stages.

There are stages in all break-ups and you are still at the first..

Don't give up, and by all means, keep us updated.

Try to be a little more elaborate about your feelings, fears, hopes, and tell us what you thought was so 'great' about this jerk. That will help you put things in perspective.

Soon, you will realize that he is not the only guy in the world who has qualities and it will knock your socks off.

C.U.on the forum, and have a good weekend.

P.S. Try and keep busy with friends and stay out as long as possible so that you won't be alone at your place too much. Go to a new pub, park, movie, etc. Just DON'T stay at home moping.

Funny enough, I am going through the same thing, yes physical distance is good, don't communicate in way shape or form. Everyone will tell you that. I am actually trying to win my ex girlfriend back and she has a new boyfriend, so the only thing you can do is let it be. You can't force anything, remember that. What ever happens is meant to be, just let it go and see what happens. There is nothing you can do.

One goes through many forms or stages of the breakup. Usually starting with, "What have i done?" "I want you back", "I must win them back"! Bla bla bla.

However after a pronlonged period of no contact your probably find you just don't want to know about the ex, what there up to, they dumped you! Who cares. Be the one that got away if you ask me!

They chose to no longer have you in their lives. Give it right up their sodding asses = D

Distance is good, its good to change your lives at least a bit after a break up but don't go moving countries just because of one guy or girl! Unless you want to :)

When there is a knot in a rope... even if it mends, it usually never gets back to its normal shape... so even if u get back with him... it will never b the same... so honey... take it as one of life's experiences and always Thank God for whatever he does...

You may be so used to this ex after so long, during your young years, and are use to him, and know nothing different. It takes time to heal from the death of a relationship, but you will heal, and be able to move on, as long as you cut all contact with the ex, and disappear from his life. Easier said than done, but you can build a life your happy, without him.

Speaking of healing..

Consider your broken heart.. imagine a broken bone and go through the steps..
1) it hurts like hell and needs mending, you cry and wonder how this could have happened.
2) gets examined, diagnosed and receives a cast. The cast prevents further damage and keeps the bone immobile so that it has a chance to heal.
3) once the cast has done it's job, we go to physical therapy to regain full movement to the appendage.

Now see the heart:
1) it hurts like hell and needs mending, you cry and wonder how this could have happened.
2) gets examined and diagnosed (you realize that someone has HURT you)
And receives a cast (the cast here is NO CONTACT) The NC prevents further damage and keeps the heart protected so that it has a chance to heal.
3) Once NC has done the job - and it never happens overnight - you take small steps in your social life to regain your self-awareness and self-respect.

And in both cases, it takes a whole lot of time to heal. You also remember what broke that bone and avoid further instances of the like. In a relationship, you learn what to avoid in the future.

It also pays to spend that time being constructive instead of destructive.

Keep us posted on your healing process - we will help wherever we can.

You shouldn't persist... that's where I am right now with my ex girlfriend and it gets annoying to her that I am trying to insist back on a relationship... what I'm doing right now is keeping a low profile... the best to do is let this guy come to you... just stay away and let him decide what he wants...

When breakups happen... they happen for a reason. My dear it's definitely hard to even comprehend whys and how's... and almost hard to forget the person... but I want an honest answer from you... is it because u're lonely that's why you want him want him back or because you love him still? I think you know very well what he did to you... so definitely it's could not be because you love him that you want him back... it's more of a feeling of not being together with someone who loves u... and believe with time... u will realize you wouldn't want him anymore...

Anything that keeps you from contact with him, is a good thing in my opinion.

I would like to no the answr of this question. And if they miss you enough even if they broke it off will they have enough balls to come back.. Or will they expect the dumped to come back eventually..