About a month ago my boyfriend for 1 year and something months broke up with me due to the reason that he was "no longer happy". He actually has a 2 year old kid with some other girl and he is a year younger than me. We had lived in for about a year and I grew to be very dependent and attached to him. But of course, just like any break up - no matter how I begged and tried to patch things up - there was clearly too much damage and it had become a horribly dysfunctional relationship already. I was of course devastated. I couldn't eat, work, laugh or smile for a couple weeks. To help me forget about my misery, one of my best friends set me up with this guy friend of his who I had been eyeing for quite some time. Yes, I have to admit I found him attractive (in a rugged kind of way I guess). Anyway, we've been going out for about a month now. My mom tells me to take a breather and rest for a while (from relationships). I feel pretty steady with the "new guy", he seems to have good intentions and he was "referred" to me by a pretty good source. I'm some what confident that things may actually have a good chance of working with him. I have to admit I can hear my mom's voice in my head telling me to take it easy. So I guess my question is, how long should I wait until I engage myself into another serious relationship? How do I know if I am only trying to fill a void or a loss or worse just rebound on this new guy? Help! :confused:

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How long after a break up do I wait before dating again?

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At least a few hours.

After that, no rules. Date or not when your interest in someone is piquéd.

Being a mother myself, I can understand how some Moms try to 'help' you.. but she has to realize that she can advise, but the you will make your choices and act according to how you feel. Your mom will respect that and understand.. we all do. If she loves you as much as I love mine, then she will understand and let you make your life as you see fit. And, it's OK for her to express her thoughts, but in the longrun, it's your life.

Nobody but you can tell you if you are doing right. You don't need to establish a particular 'mourning' period over a break-up. Just make sure that you are not seeing this new guy on the 'rebound' - that's all. Respect each other and get to know each other and enjoy life. (and from what you said, you did have your eyes on him for a while), so in my opinion, it is not wrong at all.

Keep us posted and just follow your gut feelings.

Good luck,

http://content.sweetim.com/sim/cpie/...s/00020239.gif

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Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

At least a few hours.

After that, no rules. Date or not when your interest in someone is piqued.

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I totally agree, a few hours and your good to go. I would just take things slow with this new guy. Try not to rush into anything. And don't get attached to him, or anyone ever again for that matter. When you feel comfortable enough to take it to the next step it will come naturally. Just take this time to get to know one another, and enjoy.

Thanks for everyone's posts. Helped me to feel a little less guilty about moving on. I value my mom's advice, and she does treat me like I'm still 5 years old sometimes but I guess that's natural. Now that I think about it, I don't owe it to anyone to "abstain" from relationships - especially to my ex who I wasted a year of my life with. Ü