My ex was an amazing girl. Everything I ever wanted in a girl. She felt that we were the same people and I felt the same. We had so much love for each other. Then it ended. Have no idea why because I never got a reason. It was a strange break up. She didn't even want to work at making us work or gave me a reason why it did. Any way we moved out and went our separate ways. I think I've been doing a good job on not getting in touch with her, but I do send her a text every now and then. Its so hard to get her outa my mind I feel as if I will never find a girl like her again. Is thate normal? I replay our memories over and over again in my head, wishing I could go back in time. I go to bars, that are full of women, and none of them interest. I seem to be just comparing them to my ex. Is all of this normal and will time eventually cure? Its been about 2 months. I miss her so damn much.

Don't worry a lot of people on here can relate. I found this place around 4 odd years ago during a breakup and learnt a lot. Now after finding someone a while back that like your situation thought was very similar in values/intelligence/humor etc and sharing so much together we have broken up and even though I knew what to do armed with the whole NC thing from last time still feel like crap over it.

All I can say is follow the stickies and let time do it's thing, it's what I'm doing :)

As for comparing women to your ex, well now you have a benchmark for what your expectations are and what you want, so use it. Just don't let it blind you to the fact that you need to give people a chance and don't assume that you need a mirror image of someone you once had.

And the text's you keep sending, stop doing it. You know you shouldn't be doing that already! ;)

Talaniman Rule-When they ask for a break, give it to them and do your own thing.

Talaniman Rule- When they need space, give it to them, and disappear from their lives. This allows you to heal.

Talaniman Rule- If one person isn't available, there are millions that are. Don't get stuck on one who is BUSY with other things.

Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, that’s just plain crazy.

Talaniman Rule-When you stop looking for love, and do your thing, and enjoy ALL YOUR OPTIONS, AND OPPORTUNITIES, love will find you.

Talaniman Rule-Build a life that you enjoy without a mate and your happiness will attract people who will want to share in it with you.

Just stay strong and go hang out with friends. At times, do something out of your normal routine. It works for me.

Thanks.

@ Tal
Can you still do your own thing with a sandwich board saying you're looking for love?

@ Fun
She's already moved on. You're wasting your time and energy just thinking about it. Find something to preoccupy your time. Join a club or gym, take up golf, go fishing, play chess in a park...

No more texts. You're asking to be hurt even more. Move on from it, for your own sanity and self preservation.

What you are experiencing right now is "one itis syndrome" it is when a person believes that the female he is with is the "best" female in the world and that there is nothing better out there. After a break up, these feeling is very common, I've experienced t myself. And it impacts negatively because your mind become enclosed and in a claustrophobic state in which it really believes that this woman is a goddess and no other female can compete next to her. Thankfully, this is just an illusion and it will fade away with time. So just wait! As far as you going out and not finding interest on other females is because with this syndrome you also stop looking for other woman and feel hopeless, and it makes sense not to be able to find women of you are not really looking.

Heal and then see how you feel, sooner than you realize you will start making progress and a couple relationships from now you will look back at this one and laugh at the way that girl that seems so far away at that point made you feel.

Good luck,

Javi

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Me and my girlfriend were madly in love. Everything seemed to be going great, so it seemed. We both HAD to move out, so decided to move in together. Both worked/went to school so didn't see each other too much where we would get sick of each other. 2 weeks into when we moved in I noticed she would not cuddle with me or barely kiss me. Another week goes by and I just got fed up with it. I tried to talk about it and asked her what was up, only response I got was " I don't know what to say" I then asked "well how do you feel about me" she responds with " i don't know how i feel" bla bla bla we went to a party, she got drunk and said we needed to talk sober because she said she still wants to kiss me... so I tried talking to her the next day and she still had nothing to say, so I asked if we were done... and she said yes. I was heartbroken. She said we couldn't be friends which I don't understand. Few days later I decide she has to leave (wasn't on the lease) so I could give my chance to get over her.. 2 months later I'm going crazy and trying to figure out what happened. I asked her to just tell me the truth so I could get some closure, and all she said was that she just stopped liking me, and just because it's that simple does not mean its not true. Can it really be THAT simple?

Yes, it really can be that simple as lust fades, and love grows. Guess it wasn't really love on her part. Just a thang, and now its over.

Threads merged



After a rough 4 months of getting over and forgetting my ex, I forgot about her. Slightly anyway. She is from Texas. Moved to NY. We Dated. She was planning on going back to Texas at the end of summer. But decided to stay, for me. Moved out together. Bla bla bla. Broke up. She moved out. Last month I found out she was going back to Texas after school, in June. I was relieved that she would be out of my town and out of my head. (didnt have to think about wanting her back, seeing her etc etc.) but THEN found out she decided to just go visit Texas for 2 weeks and spend another year in ny. Then started thinking crazy like she is staying because of another guy. The idea of her doing what she did with me, to another guy, just bothers me so much. Then it all came back. All those horrible crazy flaring emotions right after a break up. And started to miss the hell outa her, hate her, love her, be mad, angry upset. Think about all the memories, AGAIN. And now, it feels like I'm starting from the beginning of my getting over her process. Help? I know I should just remove everything about her out of my life, I actually finally deleted her number today! But its so hard and scary just throwing her out of my life completely.

Hello,

I hate the fact that a break means no boundaries, no rules, etc. She has a license to play around with any guy she met while I sat here mopping at home wishing she would come back.

You shouldn't erase everything about her and forget about it. It will come back to haunt you, and your feelings will return. You have to accept it. It's beyond your control, and there's nothing you can do about it. She may have met someone, she may have not. But if she had such an easy time moving, she won't have a hard time moving on with someone else. You can't make someone love you. If you really love this girl, then go out there and get her. This was 4 months of your life, and this girl had an impact on it clearly. She truly meant something if you are having such a hard time now. The worst thing you can do, in my opinion, is pretend it never happened. Because it did.

Real love forgives all mistakes.

Are you following NC?? How are you getting updates to what she is doing??

Yes, no contact means just that, time to get over her, but two months is really no time at all,