I loved my brother and sister and they left me. Ever since then I haven't been able to trust anyone. Every time I start to get close to someone I pull myself away and refuse to love anyone. I can't show love especially to my family. The only one I trust is Jesus, but my relationships with people are not meaningful. I'm 15, never had a boyfriend for this very reason. I can't trust anyone because I'm afraid they will leave I'm scared of getting hurt again.

Why did they leave you, if you don't mind me asking? When was this?

It was 4 years ago at around this time. THey left because I guess they didn't get along with our parents and wanted to do whatever they wanted. I don't know really. But I blame my mom.

You blame your mom for them leaving without knowing why? That's not very fair! How old are you, and how old were they when they left??

I'm 15 I was 11 when they left and I have plenty of reason to blame my mom. They were like 16 and 19. I guess I would be OK with them leaving if I was allowed to contact them and if they would try to get in touch with me instead of pretending I don't exist.

What are the reasons you blame your mom? Why do you have no contact with them? You have a lot of anger, and accusations, but hardly any explanations for your feelings. How does your mom treat you?

My mom doesn't want me talking to them. She was always fighting with them and I hated it. She told them they couldn't stay anymore. I know I'm angry and I hate that too. I'm trying so hard to forgive her but I can't without God's help.

I think you have to understand that your mother asked them to leave because they were probably doing things that went against her rules for proper behavior in her house. That's a parents job to raise their children to do the right things.

I think that she is trying to protect you, and raise you to to the right things too, so cut her some slack, and try not to be so angry with her for doing her best as a parent. She doesn't want you to be like them.

I think you go a long way in forgiving your mom, and not being angry with her id you understand she was trying her best to raise all three of you the right way, so you can be good responsible adults, and your older brother and sister didn't want to be. They had to leave. Rightfully so. I think I would have done the same thing.

She doesn't want you to be like them, and you obviously are not, so forgive her and let go of your anger so you can see she did what she did out of love, and NOT hate, and know that very soon, when you grow up you will be able to tal to your older siblings as adults, and learn about them, and why they did things the way they did that got them kicked out of the house.

Its not easy raising kids, and a lot of hard times come as they get older and have their own minds, but we parents want only the best for our kids, and I am sure your mom is the same way, and it probably hurt her more than you know to kick her own children out of the house. Understand this, and don't put all the blame on her for them not being there. No doubt, their own behavior had a lot to do with it.

I hope you can understand and forgive your mom, and be happy yourself, because its not easy at all to raise kids, and since you never mentioned your dad, I assume she did it on her own, without any help. Am I right??

No my dad is home but he doesn't get mad as easy as my mom does.I don't know how much he had to do with kicking the out my mom has a mind of her own. I know I have to forgive her. I can't be a Christian and not be willing to forgive. It's just the reminders that get to me. I am trying to see how much I've done in my life that I am pretty unforgivable for, and that helps me learn to love no matter what wrong I see in her. But once I am able to forgive her, how will that help me trust people again?

With forgiveness there is acceptance of the shortcomings, and frailties of others. That acceptance leads you to trust, because like you, they are human, and make mistakes. It also will build a faith in yourself that when they fail your trust, you will be hurt, but not destroyed. That will bring you to an understanding of how to deal with all your fellow humans with love and forgiveness, and understanding that will protect you, no matter what they do.

I doubt your mom would kick her children out without your dads approval, and without them crossing the lines of good behavior that parents set for their children. As you get all the facts you will understand that and be able to forgive, and trust. Not the blind trust of a child, but of a mature human. You are almost there and closer than you think, because you WANT to forgive and understand, and TRUST.

Trust, like respect, is something that is earned through deeds, actions, and words, and is not something that is just given away, nor accepted without reason. Understand??

Have you ever talked to your mom, or dad about your older siblings, or why they were asked to leave??

No since then I haven't been very open with my parents about anything. What happened was my parents said if they continued to disobey and fight or whatever they had to leave. THen one day my sister didn't come home from work and a week later my brother walked out the door without any of his things. It was very unexpected. Ever since my brother was like 15 he said he couldn't wait until he was 18 so he could leave. He always wanted to leave. He ran away a lot when he was younger.

I don't want to be hurt again. That's why I'm so afraid of trusting

I really don't think they meant to hurt you, they were only thinking of themselves, and what they wanted. People can be selfish that way when they are not happy, and hurt those close to them because they are hurting themselves.

Maybe forgiving them too, would be a step in the right direction for you. Being hurt sucks though, but the good news is we don't have to stay hurt. Forgiveness is a way to let go of the hurt, and makes it easier to deal with it, before it becomes anger.

A little too late for that.. the anger but I'm getting over that. And if they didn't mean to hurt me what exactly did they mean?

They meant to be free, and do as they pleased, without any one telling them what to do. So they had to leave. It wasn't about you at all, but about them and what they wanted. So sorry that you as a younger child took their actions so personally, you didn't have to. I hope you can get beyond your anger. For some reason they were probably angry too, and that can lead to some bad behavior, or some bad choices.

Yea they were angry with good reason that I won't go into

And your mom is to blame? She sounds strict. Almost as strict as I was when raising my own kids.