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-   -   Honeymoon over (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=714493)

  • Nov 5, 2012, 10:09 PM
    Ton ton
    Honeymoon over
    Hi everyone, I have a problem that I really want to share it. I need a help PLEASE! I have been married eight months ago it was perfect our wedding our honeymoon everything. But the problem is that I don't know what happened what happened with my husband he never wanted me again. First I caught him talking with his ex-girlfriend I was angry I discussed it with him in a very mature way, then I caught him watch porn movies now I didn't sleep with me or even touch me I think we didn't have sex many for 4 months. I'm pregnant now I am totally depressed we used to love each other anyway he promised me that he won't call his ex again then I knew that they are still talking and she knows everything about me he tells her every in our life my question is if he loves her why he doesn't leave and marry her?! Today happened the most shocking thing for me I was sleeping I felt like there is a strange movements on the bed he was MASTERBATING :o I asked him "baby are you okay?" he answered " I'm fine go to sleep" then he went to the bathroom. After he got out I went to check the bathroom I found sperms everywhere. I really can't handle it anymore Its really hurts the feeling that he doesn't want me anymore. I feel like I'm shattered inside he is my first experience now I'm 23 having a baby my husband is not interested in me my parents won't accept the idea of divorce cause we live in Egypt and it's not good for a girl to be married and after eight months she got a divorce. Now I am zero confidence. I'm lost! But for me the real problem is that I still love him he means everything to me. Should I have an abolition but I need this baby. What I'm thinking of that his baby will come and suffer. My house is totally ruined. I couldn't accept the idea that he doesn't love me anymore. We used to love each other for four years. I need anybody to help me please to tell what I have to do? Thank you so much!
  • Nov 6, 2012, 03:31 AM
    Jwr5885
    Well I'm sorry to hear about your story and I'm curious as to whether or not the sex has anything to do with you being pregnant. For a lot of guys it's a little tough to handle the thought of having sex with your partner while she's pregnant. So that could be why he might not want to. Now as far as talking to his ex it depends on the conversation/conversations they're having. I mean if they're mature and still friends after they're relationship that isn't necessarily a bad thing. But obviously by your post you are upset about it and maybe assuming the worst. I would try to talk to him and see if they're still friends, see if his ex has a boyfriend. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions until you have the facts. But talk to him and trust him tell him what's bothering you about your relationship and see if you guys can work it out after all there is a child involved communication is key in any/every type of relationship. With out that we are left to go on hints about what we think is going on. Well I hope this helps and it all works out for you.
  • Nov 6, 2012, 04:43 AM
    joypulv
    I agree, many men go into 'wife as mother' mode as soon as she's pregnant. He just can't see her as a desirable woman anymore, even if he loves her very much. These are the men who often are horrified to think that their parents have sex, or perhaps their parents really haven't had sex since the children were conceived, and that's all they understand.

    Certainly do talk to him about feeling undesirable and also about fears of him contacting other women. Try to do it in a non-confrontational way, when you aren't too upset (I know that's hard) and when you aren't in bed. It's possible to save the marriage if he is willing to communicate and understand your needs.
  • Nov 6, 2012, 05:14 AM
    lizzy515
    I'm sorry to hear about the issue, hope I can help in some way.

    As long as you told your husband to stop talking to his ex, it should be okay. But you say they still do talk, meaning he doesn't listen to you anymore. That can be seen as a bad sign and a good sign. Bad because obviously, he knows its upsetting you, but he does it anyway. Good because, sometimes when married couples start experiencing couples, the other spouse feels talking to their ex or friends may help.
    However, it depends now. Was he always friends with this ex, or did they magically become close when you and him began experiencing problems?

    Also, I'm sorry, but there is a slight chance that your husband is gay. That could be why he doesn't want to get intimate with you, and also why he's talking to his ex. If this is the case, he may feel uncomfortable talking to you about it, he may be worried of what you may think. Talking to his ex and getting her felings about it may be a safer option, in his opinion. Also, has he seen your breasts recently? Try flashing him and seeing his reaction. If he gets horny, he's still into you. Not many guys have the willpower to resist breasts. If he ignores you completely, he's either gay or into someone else.

    Hope this helps, and remember, I mean no offense whatsoever. Good luck. :)

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