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    vallette's Avatar
    vallette Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 24, 2009, 02:44 AM
    He says he needs space and time after 14 years I don't understand
    Boyfriend of 14 years decide he needs time and space, I don't understand, says there is no one else, but I guess he would say that anyway. I said I would move out, but he said no, is he trying to keep his options open, he is ignoring me and avoiding me, if I try to talk to him, it seems to push him away, what do I do, I need some anwers from him but afraid to ask questions, any advise would be greatfull
    Bernie529's Avatar
    Bernie529 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Apr 24, 2009, 03:04 AM

    Don't try to understand. I know that it's difficult, but try it. Avoid contact. If you try to contact you are pushing him away. It's a normal pattern in break ups.

    Good luck.
    vallette's Avatar
    vallette Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 24, 2009, 03:49 AM

    Do you think, this his way of breaking up, and that there probably is someone else, I don't know why he told me to stay, when I said I would move out, It is hard to leave, we have 14 years of a life together built up. And then wham you feel like you are smacked in the face and everything meant nothing...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Apr 24, 2009, 07:36 AM
    Leave, and let him figure his own life out, while you get away, and heal. The emotional dust will eventually settle, and you can see through the feelings, and get the facts.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #5

    Apr 24, 2009, 08:04 AM

    Let him sort out his head and find out what is going on within himself, I know its hard but he says he needs space, then you need to respect his wishes and give him that. Perhaps don't move out, but stay at a friends for a while?
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