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i1star12 · May 10, 2010, 09:33 AM

My girlfriend of 3 years recently ended our relationship. We were long distance for the last part of the year due to college. Over winter break, I was feeling that the relationship was ending and didn't spend much time with her. She confronted me about this about a day before my break was over and we ended up having sex... Now she feels like I used her and says that every time we did have sex she felt like a whore. Her conditions for fixing this are that we become completely platonic until marriage, which I really can't do. I want to fix this, but this No Sex rule would be to hard for me to handle. Help!

Romefalls19 · May 10, 2010, 10:54 AM

Tell her exactly how you feel, she expressed her feelings now you do the same. Explain that it wasn't just for sex, why does she feel that way?

Cat1864 · May 10, 2010, 12:21 PM

Over Winter Break, you felt the relationship was ending and didn't share your concerns with her. So, you didn't spend much time with her. She ended up confronting you and you had sex. I guess nothing got worked out, but the relationship continued. She now feels like sex is the only reason you are in the relationship and wants to take it out of the equation because she doesn't like feeling used. You want to keep the sex.

Have you two worked on the issues that caused the problems over Winter Break? Do you have discussions with each other about your concerns and issues? That means both of you talking with and listening to each other.

By all means, share your needs in the relationship with her. Just don't dismiss what she is trying to tell you. Think about it and see where you both can compromise. If you can't work together and compromise, then maybe you should both rethink trying to be in a relationship together. You might be at very different stages in your lives.

talaniman · May 12, 2010, 06:39 PM

I got to say, communicating honestly is very lacking, and the level of caring is even worse. Unless you talk, nothing can be fixed, and there can be no talking unless somebody cares. She told you how she felt, now tell her how you feel, and make sure you know what your saying before you open your mouth, or leave it alone, and find a new sex buddy.