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redwee74 · Sep 17, 2008, 03:31 PM

This is a short one and I would like to hear from a cheaters point of view on this. I myself have cheated once and told on myself, I did it more as a revenge thing than a lack of my needs being meet. But here is the question, Is a cheater always going to be a cheater or will they find someone who will be enough for them to become a descent person? I mean no disrepect just could not find any better words.

Is a cheater always going to be a cheater?

menoshoes · Sep 17, 2008, 04:37 PM

It depends on the person you are and who you are dating. I found myself in a one year relationship and towards the end I noticed things were not the same as they were in the start. He was coming 2hours to my house calling me really late and so on. I did not have the guts at that time to let him go. So I had a few dates on the side and then realized that it was over and I needed a break. Currently I'm in a relationship nearing our 1 year mark and I have not been happier than before and I don't have a need to cheat or have dates on the side. My current boyfriend is all that I need in someone. But if you are referring to someone that you are with and they have cheated and you got back with them. NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY OR DO TO FIX THAT REALTIONSHIP IT IS NEVER THE SAME For some cheating is a way to avoid the real problem with your partner- but that does not last long. And for others they may not have a real reason/ Why did you cheat on someone and don't know if you will do it again? Or did you realized that someone cheated on you?

ordinaryguy · Sep 17, 2008, 04:39 PM

Originally Posted by redwee74

Is a cheater always going to be a cheater?

No one is always anything.

HeadsHigh · Sep 17, 2008, 04:40 PM

I've cheated on everyone whom I've had a relationship with. Maybe its down to my age (20) and the immaturity amongst me and my peers but what I've noticed is you're either the cheater or the cheated. After my last relationship ended and seeing how badly I had hurt someone who I deeply cared about its now time for me to take a time out and grow up! Needless to say it doesn't matter whether the person you're with is enough for you.. heck being with the perfect partner sometimes means that you take that person for granted even more than you would do with someone who treated you like sh!t.
Not cheating on someone is a personal choice as it is easily avoided and I hope to god that a leopard can change its spots.

JBeaucaire · Sep 17, 2008, 05:37 PM

Yes, you will always be a cheater of SOME kind. Unless you're not.

Hope that helps.

Aliboosh · Sep 17, 2008, 05:44 PM

I think the fact that you admitted what you did makes all the diffrence. If you feel bad about it you probably won't do it again. It takes a long time to get someone's trust back but you just have to keep showing them your faithful.

JBeaucaire · Sep 17, 2008, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

Yes, you will always be a cheater of SOME kind. Unless you're not.

Hope that helps.

Joking aside, your question implies you think your character is genetic. It's not. Your IMPULSES may be genetically influenced, but humans are the only creatures on the planet with a conscience. That means your question should actually be:

"Am I going to exercise my freedom of choice to be faithful to one person, or not? Am I going to choose nobly or not?"

You're not a puppet. You're a man. The control is yours. Our predictions and our own experience are pretty irrelevant. You have to choose for yourself.

If you CAN'T keep your hands off multiple women, the only thing that makes that into CHEATING is to make unnecessary promises to one of the girls. You don't have to do that. This site clearly demonstrates there are girls out there that don't need that kind of security (bf/gf titles).

So, you start to date someone, early on state, "I really enjoy dating and being with varied people. As long as you can respect that and not feel threatened by that, then we can have a lot fun together."

Or even simpler, "I like you, but I don't date exclusively. I hope you can understand, I value honesty and hope you do too."

talaniman · Sep 18, 2008, 10:36 AM

People change, if they want to, but its dumb to bet your happiness on it.

unsurenow · Feb 4, 2010, 05:31 PM

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

If you CAN'T keep your hands off multiple women, the only thing that makes that into CHEATING is to make unnecessary promises to one of the girls. You don't have to do that. This site clearly demonstrates there are girls out there that don't need that kind of security (bf/gf titles).

So, you start to date someone, early on state, "I really enjoy dating and being with varied people. As long as you can respect that and not feel threatened by that, then we can have a lot fun together."

Or even simpler, "I like you, but I don't date exclusively. I hope you can understand, I value honesty and hope you do too."

Perfect way of putting this, but like my ex, they feel that being honest means they may not have a chance to play with that woman,such like in my case.. we were together 20 months but his cheating ways leaked out, the truthn always comes to light, why not just be honest and NOBODY gets hurt.. so what if the woman won't agree there are many womaen out there that will.