Basically I got really drunk last night and ended up going home to an older woman's house and started having sex about a minute or two in I realised just how badly this is going to hurt us it would be a massive dent in our relationship which is making me feel physically sick with guilt and I really do care so much for the girl I've known her for years and we've been dating for almost 6 months I love her so much I want to tell her just how truly sorry I am and I really wasn't thinking clearly at the time it should have never happened.

Option 1: You tell her. She never trusts you again and will always be suspicious. That's if she doesn't break up with you on the spot.

Option 2: You don't tell her but live with your guilt.

It's entirely your decision. There is no good way to say "I cheated."

I think you man up and tell her, no matter what. I have been in a similar situation (actually not me, but my best friend has), and I don't think it should be your right to never tell her. She deserves to know and make a decision from there. Everyone says that "living with the guilt" is hard, but that, to me, is a cop out for never telling someone. My friend doesn't seem to have any guilt, and he has done this multiple times.

Obviously it should have never happened, but it did. I think, as a man, you need to be honest with what you've done. At least that way you know that you came clean. If you cared about her as much as you say you do, it wouldn't have happened, regardless of the alcohol intake. I have done a lot of stupid things when I was drunk, but cheating has never been one of them.

Your girlfriend deserves to know what has happened and deserves the right to make a decision on her future from there.

kctiger is very right. Your girlfriend does deserve to know the truth. If you love her as much as you say you do you would give her that respect. It must be very difficult for you because people do make silly mistakes but it should be up to her to decide whether you deserve a second chance or not.

I am in that same situation... im so sick to my stomach right now... and I really do not know how to deal with it. I have a lot of demons coming out recently and alcohol always makes it worse. I really just want to talk to a counsler and stop drinking. The majority of my life problems have been caused by drinking. I love this girl with all my heart and I just want forgiveness. I talked to God for the first time in years and it feels great. He always has the right answers.