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    charlie28's Avatar
    charlie28 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 26, 2011, 06:07 AM
    Can't seem to move on...
    Hello, I was with this guy for 7 months, we had a really close relationship... He had a few emotional problems and although he worked he would drink on his days off... This became a problem as there was hardly any physical relationship going on and I began to feel invisible. I left for 5 days but he phoned and asked me to go back which I did.

    Things improved for a while and he did start to have a few nights where he didn't drink and gave me some time. This only lasted a while, he would say I was controlling as he felt he couldn't drink without an argument. We had a really big argument, nasty things were said and I left...

    There has been a small amount of contact in the beginning... His text were really nasty, I replied to them in a nice manner and wouldn't be nasty back. We have been apart for 4 months now, he found someone else within a week online and is now moving in with her...

    I'm heartbroken, I thought somehow we would get back together as apart from the issues above we were so connected. I text him about 4 weeks ago to ask if we could talk ! He replied straight away, but still went on about the bad things that were said between us and that he now has new partner etc etc...

    What do you suggest I do, many many thanks... We are both in our 40s by the way.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Aug 26, 2011, 06:21 AM
    You accept that its over and go no contact.

    He's an alcoholic-that however is his problem,not yours.

    Plus he has a new partner-personally I think you dodged a bullet.

    Be good to yourself and spend time with people you love and who love you-do things you enjoy and gradually you'll get over him.

    Take care.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Aug 26, 2011, 10:06 AM
    You made the right choice by walking away if disrespect was displayed in an argument, now that you have made this choice stand by it and stop loathing yourself for making this a$$hole leave. He has found someone else, now it is your turn, he has moved on because the relationship is over and is your turn to start looking. Enjoy your single status and go out there to meet people. What is the point of sticking around for someone who has so obviously never really cared?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Aug 26, 2011, 11:00 AM
    That one flaw he has is a huge one, but its his to deal with and he took the easy way out. See this as a blessing in disguise, so you can be free to find happiness with a better choice of partners.

    Read the stickies here, as you get busy rebuilding a life that you enjoy with friends, family, and activities that make you happy. It will take a while, but eventually you will move beyond this.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Aug 27, 2011, 04:14 PM
    Doesn't sound like he was right from the get go.

    I think you have put up with enough abuse.

    Hes not for you to fix or turn around.

    See this as a blessing.

    You deserve better. Be careful who you get involved with & give your heart to.

    After all, that's precious.

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