Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   My boyfriend's mother recently passed away and he acts as if I don't exist. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=692544)

  • Aug 10, 2012, 01:22 PM
    Blanco11111
    My boyfriend's mother recently passed away and he acts as if I don't exist.
    Earlier this week my boyfriends mother passed away. Me and him have been dating almost two years. We haven't had the perfect relationship but we've overcome those tough roads. Recently his mother had a lot of health complications having to do with her lungs and also her heart. I was close to her as well. We use talk on the phone and exchanged texts she always welcomed me when I came over her house. I'd help her with anything I could.

    When she began getting sick my boyfriend became a little distant but it wasn't very noticeable. But now that his mother has passed away he's become completely blunt with me. Everyone keeps telling me to just give him his space and not to bother him. I'll admit that I didn't quite listen and now I wish I would have because now I feel that I've pushed him even more further away from me. He won't let me see him or hear his voice hell briefly text me but there always dry. He's told me that he has lost his heart (meaning his mother) and he's changed and he apologizes for how he is being with me. I know this isn't about me but I can't help but feel that he doesn't want me to help him in any way. After everything I've gone through for him he rather seek help somewhere else.

    I spoke to a few of his friends and just tell them to take care of him because I get worried that he acts like if nothing happened and all he wants to do is go out and party drink and smoke. I feel like the death of his mother hasn't fully set in. But when it comes down to the day of her funeral I fear the worse that he's just going to breakdown and I won't be able to try and hold him. He did invite me to the funeral which of course I'm going to go aside from him I had a lot of love for his mother and he knows that.

    Now all I do is wait and maybe he'll come around and want to see me. We have school in two weeks and we have the same classes. I'm not sure how this is going to work I'm not sure if he's even going to attend school. I don't want to bother him anymore or ask anyone about him even though, it kills me to be away from him. It just hurts that he doesn't want to be anywhere near me and is having the time of his life with his friends doing god knows what. I know he's just pretending so he doesn't have to think about his loss. All I do is pray for him because I know he's doing this to forget what has happened.

    I know its going to take time for him to try and go past this. I just wish I could be there every step of the way. He hasn't said anything about breaking up but I know we pretty much are.
  • Aug 10, 2012, 03:15 PM
    ITstudent2006
    You have answered your own question multiple times in your post.

    This is not about you. This is not about the love you had for his mother. This is about a boy, losing his nurturer, his mother.

    It would be wise of you to stay clear and do only what is asked at this point. Neglecting to do so, runs the risk of you being kicked to the curb. This is not your problem to deal with anymore. This is no longer about you and your boyfriend. THis is about how he is/will react to the untimely demise of his mother. Where he wants to go from here and who; if anyone, he wants to come with him.

    Your relationship very well could be over already. Its not your call at this point. Eye-openers aren't uncommon during grieving.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:12 AM.