My Boyfriend is jealous, possessive, and emotional, what should I do?
I have been dating this guy for about a 2 years now, it started so amazing, I fell in love with him in no time, but since we met, a lot of problems have come up. His jealousy and possessive nature comes through in a lot of ways. He has become very angry at me for wearing v neck shirts or anything that could possibly reveal even the slightest bit of my chest because he is convinced that other guys are checking me out. He probably would prefer that I wear a turtle neck year round. Seeing me wearing shorts at home makes him think I wear them outside and that same thought runs through his mind and he gets even more upset. I decided to stop wearing those shirts out to make him feel better and assured him I wouldn't wear them outside, but one day he saw me wearing a v neck shirt with a camisole underneath and has since then lost all trust in me because even with the camisole I was cutting it too close. He becomes tormented by thoughts of guys asking me out during my childhood even though he is my very first boyfriend and insists that I make his life miserable because of it. He becomes upset thinking that as long as we are together he will have to live with those thoughts while I have nothing to live with since he's never done any of that to me. When I speak to him about past girlfriends he has told me about or certain memories I have of him telling me things about their relationship, he insists that they were all lies, even the relationships themselves. I remember several girls asking him out, even him calling other girls hot in front of me, but he has an excuse for every single example I come up with and upholds his stance on me not having to deal with anything he has done.
He also doesn't like the thought of me having friends or liking my family. He is convinced that I have every reason to hate my family and doesn't like it when I say anything good about them. The same goes for my friends. He doesn't like it when I want to go hang out with them because he believes that he himself doesn't have any friends because all he needs is me. He takes my wanting to have friends as casting him aside and telling him he's not good enough, that I don't want to be with him, which isn't true at all.
There are days where we seriously hate each other, but for some reason we always make up. And, no matter how upset he is, he refuses to break up with me, and when he does say he wants to break up with me he takes it back. I always find it so hard to break up with him because a part of me still cares about him deeply and wants to make this work, another part is afraid of what might happen to him if I do break up with him, and another part is ready to give up on it all.
Is there anything I can do to help our situation and our relationship? Am I doing something wrong to make matters worse? Is this behavior normal in a lot of relationships? I ask because he is my first and I apparently have no idea what I'm doing, can someone please help?
Boyfriend Problems. This doesn't make sense to me, maybe it will to you.
My boyfriend does this everyday now. While we're talking, something will cause him to remember something I told him. Years ago and I mean years (like in my childhood), a couple of guys told me they liked me. In one situation I took the guys phone number because I didn't want to give him mine and called him later on to tell him in private that "i'm sorry i'm not interested" (we met at a party). To another guy I told him "I like you too" though I meant it as a friend. Now, whenever he thinks about this he becomes depressed and sad and starts crying saying that he's the only guy who can ever hit on me, he's the only guy I can ever take a phone number from, he has to be my absolute first in everything because we're soul mates. He says its not fair that they hit on me before he even knew I existed. Hearing him say all this really pisses me off and makes it impossible for me to comfort him (something I would normally do when he's this sad) because I think he's being absolutely ridiculous. I think it's strange that I have to say sorry continuously because of this and try to find a way to make him feel better when I really don't think I can. Does this behavior make sense to anyone or am I being an insensitive girlfriend. Is there anything I can do to make him stop or make him feel better or is this hopeless. In other words, am I crazy or is he?
Jealous, Depressed, Overprotective, Suicidal Boyfriend driving me crazy. Need a plan
I loved my boyfriend, and I mean LOVED. He was my everything. He was the coolest person ever and I loved spending time with him. Every minute we were together was a happy one. I knew from the beginning of our relationship that he had a lot happen to him in his life that caused him to become easily depressed sometimes but I was willing to stand by him through it all because I loved him so much. Now, things are different. Before our relationship even began, he asked me how much he meant to me compared to my family and friends. We had only known each other for a week or so, so naturally I put my family and friends above him ( I knew them longer and was much closer to them, it made perfect sense to me). Since then, he has secretly harbored this deep hate towards my friends and family and has tried to separate me from them so he could become my number one. Whenever I would speak positively about my friends or family, or anyone really, he would become really upset and pissed at me. It was like he wanted me to hate my family as much as he hated his. He wanted me to dispose of my friends since in his eyes, his were disposable. I couldn't do either of these. If I didn't bash my fam or friends, he would say I was defending them and treating him like . He wanted to keep me all to himself and shut me off from the rest of the world.
Tonight, he was really depressed because my uncle jokingly called me his girlfriend to bother me while I was on the phone with my boyfriend (depression caused by extreme jealousy and my lack of bashing my fam again) and he asked for the time we spent together to be merely between us, my family excluded. So I locked my door. While together, my cell phone rings, I thought it was another wrong caller since my phone didn't recognize the number and picked it up since he thinks its funny seeing me trying to tell someone who doesn't understand what I'm saying that they have the wrong number. It turns out its my uncle from another country calling to say hi. I hadn't talked to him in a year or more so I was pretty surprised and excited. My boyfriend then hung up on me. When I called him back, he was furious. He knew it was my uncle who I had accused of abandoning me out of sadness (I told him how close we were and he told me he didn't want to hear about me being close to my family ever again). He went on a rant about how horrible I am and told me to go marry my family and other derogatory terms. He told me he hated me, but he wouldn't break up with me or leave. All the while, during his hateful rant, I felt like I was beginning to hate him. He said he'd call me tomorrow but I don't want to hear his voice ever again.
I want to break up with him. I need to break up with him, but I don't know how. He has claimed to be suicidal and would kill himself if I ever left him. We were on the verge of breaking up once, but once we made up, he revealed to me that if I had chosen to be friends with him instead of a lover, he would hang up the phone saying he'd see me tomorrow, then he would use a knife he brought home from school to kill himself leaving behind a note telling me he loved me. I know our relationship won't work. I miss my friends, I love my family, and they're always going to be there, whether he's by my side or not. He obviously can't handle it so we need to end. But I don't know how to break up with him or have him break up with me. The feeling has to be mutual or else he will lose his life. I don't hate him, I care about him very much, but I can't be with him anymore. What do I do?