I've beem dating this girl for about a year and a half, and we have had many good times together (I'm not going to try and make this sound like it is always bad) but there has been many examples of her being, what I feel is, controlling.
There has never been any phyical violence in our relationship.

She has broken up with me around 10 times since we started, and then wants me back, without what I feel, as nothing being resolved.
Now when we have a problem and she breaks it off, I won't communicate with her for a few days, but she sends emails.

A few examples of why she has broke it off are: not phoning when she expects me too (we usually talk several times a day), adding a female friend to Facebook without first asking. She doesn't want me seeing old friends, mainly females or speaking with anyone about our relationship. She doesn't want me going out for a few beers to any bars, yet she finds excuses to go out with her friends for drinks.

She claims I disrespect her by doing these things, thus calling me a loser, loner, pathetic, low life, a-hole etc. and tells me I don't love her.
When I ask why she is with me, she claims I have some good qualities about me.

Now she claims I never talk about my feelings, but every time I do, I get shot down. If I question her reasons for getting upset, she'll tell me that I know nothing about relationships and she knows everything. I have asked her about the controlling, jealousy etc. and she'll look me right in the face and say "I am not......!"

I don't know how to discuss these problems with her, nor do I understand her behaior. At first I thought it was a 'going through the stages' or 'getting to know each other process', but it doesn't seem to end. I even thought it could be menapause (she's at that age). The problems seem to be compiling more and more.

I would like to see things work with her, but also feel I'm just buying time with her until it ends.
Anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation?

Sounds like it's time to end it. On and off again without ever working anything out and her refusal to communicate and denial about her behavior isn't a winning combination.

I agree... time to call it quits. Why do you keep coming back to her? After the a first 2 or 3 times she knew you would always take her back! So, she has pretty much lost all respect for you... says what she wants and probably does what she wants too as well as being in control of your life.

Stop having the spine of a gummy bear,dump her and feel in charge of your life for once. Look forward to being with someone who will treat you better! Don't go back to her, ever!

She is who she is, but the question is why you let someone dump you 10 times, and then send you through all those changes??

Its not her its you who go along with this program, because if you cannot communicate for resolutions to solve your problems to the benefit of you both, what's the point?

I think you have to decide if the bad is that bad, and if the good is that good, because the way I see things, you have choices to make as she does, so you cannot blame her for her choices, when you allow yourself to be treated the way she treats you.

Dump her, as she has dumped you 10 times already, it gave her power and control, so will it give you a greater leverage for talking, and resolving issues that are bothering you. For sure being told what to do by her, and harboring resentments will never work. If she can't come around and be willing to work with you, don't take her back.

Dump her, and do your thing. That's a start.