Hey all,

2 days ago my girlfriend of nearly 3 years broke up with me. I just don't know what to do.

A year ago some mates of mine were planning on taking a trip overseas, they are all single and it was 3 of them. At first I was excited cause I wanted to go so bad but my girlfriend at the time didn't have the funds to go so I held back. I told my girlfriend I wanted to go then later on I said I wasn't bothered and now did not feel like going which I didn't

A few months later I asked them about it again and they had told me they just booked it the day before and at that point my brain popped, I wanted to go badly. In conclusion I booked the holiday without my girlfriend, a few months later we had received a lump sum of cash from an accident we were in and she had more then enough to go though she was under 21. From the day I bought the ticket she cried constantly and hated me, as we drew closer to the day I was going away she was shaking me for answers, asking me why.

I had to go out one afternoon about a month before I was going away, I came home and she had all her stuff packed except her computer, she was breaking up with me then. I begged her to stay and we ended up just making up, she spoke to her sister and got some advice. Her sister told her to support him, tell him he should enjoy himself and you'll be here when you get back.

Anyway I went away but I came home about 2 weeks early cause I knew she was too distraught and this cost me a bit. Then it started about 1 month after I got back or about 2 months ago she started to break up with me after work, saying I can't do this, I can't believe you, Why did you do this, but I would talk to her and we would be together again. One time I said OK and went home for a few hours. She ended up asking me to come to dinner at hers and I didn't but went over a little later. We got back together.

The following week she came over to mine after I finished work and told me its over. She wouldn't speak to me and I couldn't stop contacting her. I then at the end of the week saw her at a party and we hooked up and got back together. Then the same thing "I can't do this anymore its killing me, my heads not right and I dont know who I am" has been going on for a few weeks, we had another huge break up 2 weeks ago, I didn't contact her and she called me early in the morning and we got back together. 2 days ago she did it again but this time she won't contact me and has blocked me from Facebook after a not so bad break up. I didn't know she wouldn't contact and block me, it just seemed she need lots of space. But now its serious.

Sorry to rant, but if feels good.

What should I do, I know she loves me when she is herself, we have absolutely great memories, only last week we went on a small kayaking day and it was lovely. I just don't understand usually she calls by now but nothing. Today I'm going to stop contacting her. I just need some advice.


I can't find an edit button but our 3rd year is on the 25th right after Easter which is in a few days and I wanted to get her something special and go away. I don't think the going away will happen but should I send her flowers/chocolates for our 3rd year even though this is happening? Maybe just saying hoping your OK?

She broke up with you, don't give her anything let her see what life is like without you.

Take it from the wise do that and she will use you and you will lose your respect form her.

Brother, this relationship is over. She's been trying to get out of it one way or another for apparently a year. The mini break ups were like tests of courage for her. Every one she gained a little more. Every one you lost some.

She's made you feel miserable and now you want to buy her things. No. Right now you need to regroup and refocus. That focus is on you and you alone. She's broke up with you, so that's her problem now. Those actions do not give her the rights to your wallet.

One of the reasons she can continue to string you along like this is you keep taking her back. She's got complete control of you and the only way you can get control and also find yourself is to quite talking to her. You can't be there every time she flys off the handle. You owe it to yourself to be available to only you.

Its only been a few days so ignore her forever. No gifts no nothing. I mean how many times do you have to get dumped before you get it? Chocolates ain't going to change anything but send the wrong message... that she can treat you any way she wants, you will still be there.

Have SOME dignity, and self respect, she sure doesn't.

I personally think that MOST women and men are terrible at breaking up with somebody. They either think its not a big deal and their will be no confrontation about it after the fact, or they try to sugarcoat things and give you crap for why they broke up with you and in turn hurt you more when you find out those reasons are lies.

Break ups suck, I recently ended a relationship of 4 1/2 years and my girlfriend got into another relationship a month later. It hurts, and its going to get a lot worse before it gets better. Now, although I think the NC rule is good I know from experience that it can be extremely hard if you are on even decent terms.

My advice... Talk to her once, give it one time... tell her how you feel, lay it all on the table. Now, I'm not talking about saying "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH" because that will successfully push her further away. Tell her how you feel, don't sugarcoat it, don't be nice because of this thought "Well, we might get back together" rolling around in your head. Be mean damnit. I know it seems like ridiculous advice, but I did it and let me tell you... although, I still miss my girlfriend... I don't regret telling her how I felt at all, not once... After that delete her from Facebook, get rid of all the pictures of you two together, delete her number from your phone, do everything possible to stop yourself from contacting her. Finally... admit to yourself its over. And work on you.

Have nothing more to do with her,she's been trying to break up with you for a long time-now it seems she's actually sticking to it.

So stay focused on yourself,stay busy and heal,one step at the time,from the breakup.

Your girlfriend seems to be very demanding and you seem to have pampered her a lot isn't it?getting so annoyed over ONE overseas trip is so out of d way.. both of you need to give each other some space.. dont entertain her for some days.. a relationship is never a oneway.if she truly loves you she will come back.then you clear matters with her properly.. or else just move on buddy

Its even harder as our 3rd year is just a few days away and I was planning a huge getaway. But that's all in the bin now. It so hard not to contact or have the urge to call her.

We have talked a little but I don't think it has gained anything. Just wish this weekend wasn't coming up as It would be a little easier on me.

Its always hard at first, when special days and events come up. Its hard to cancel plans and these are the things that tear at us even more, making things worse.

But until you stop all contact, and get busy making other plans the healing process cannot even start.

This break up is still fresh, so fresh, the shock probably hasn't worn off yet, and the mourning hasn't had a chance to get started. You are at the bad time of this experience ( ITS ALL BAD after a break up ), but in time, you start to get a handle on it.

I will agree that ranting in those desperate moments feels amazing, so you are welcome to do it anytime.

It seems to me as if this girl has several issue. First issue in the story is her need for codependency, how can it be possible that she is not willing to give you sometime with your friends? Second, she has some mental instability in that she really doesn't know what she wants and that she doesn't have any control over her emotions whatsoever. This break up is a gift for you, use it to work on yourself and in finding someone who has a little more common sense than her, at least this relationship didn't last any longer.

Good luck,
Javi