I lost my father to cancer when I was 8, then my sister at 19 within 18 months my partner died in a road traffic accident. I believe I had counselling for my fathers death but I have no recollection at all. I have no other siblings and my sister and I were the very best of friends and when she died I was completely numb, as my mother was obviously upset I did a lot of the arranging for the funeral etc and gave a speech at the funeral, but I have never really grieved for any of my losses. I follow after my mother with the old stiff upper lip but it is 15 years on and I just can't seem to move on, in fact I am going backwards and nothing seems to really matter much my whole life is suffering, my memory is the worst of all and I can't seem to remember or focus on anything. Does anyone have any advice?