Well, my problem has been that my whole life I have been categorized as "overweight." But when I entered high school I lost some weight and got into exercising such as jogging, and kick-boxing. I grew out of my chubby phase, but I still don't feel like I fit in. I'm ashamed of my weight still. I'm 5,7 and 195lbs, but I don't look 195lbs. Most people guess my weight as 155-165. I am more muscular than most girls on average due to boxing but I still have some cushion. People say I'm pretty or whatever but only sometimes I see that, but once I see myself as being chubby, I think that it isn't possible to be pretty and chubby and still be attractive. I have never had a boyfriend and I blame it on being fat. I think that in order for a guy to like me I need to lose weight. People say this isn't true, but most guys are shallow and size does matter to them! I don't know what to think anymore. I love food, and I diet constantly and I HATE IT! I'm trying to exercise more so I can eat things I like. But somehow I still feel like if I stay like this I will be alone forever. I always think to myself, Sure I'm smart, funny, friendly, and pretty BUT, I'm fat.
I'm tired of people comforting me just to make me feel better, but what I really need is truth!

Truth is - You believe you are "fat", so you're always going to see that part of yourself in the mirror, even if popular opinion pegs your weight at 160 - and not being "fat".

Truth is - You believe you can't be happy as long as you are "fat", so you're always going make yourself unhappy when you see yourself as being "fat".

See how those two go together?

If I were you - I'd question what you've been led to believe...

Girl, yes they are shallow, the guys you have met are shallow!
I think you are beautiful , you will find a good man in the future. Now, you have to wait... it'll come along.
Good luck!

Well, if you want the truth, I'll give it to you. You don't have to suffer from low self-esteem because of your weight. While some guys may prefer skinny girls, there are plenty of guys out there who'll take you as you are. Don't ever feel like you're any less of a person because of your weight or some other characteristic.

My sister is 14 and weighs 352 pounds. I love her with all my heart. Other people will always be out to hurt you. Don't let them. Learn to love yourself for who you are, than other people will too GOD BLESS< amber

This is coming from someone who is almost on the same boat as you. I'm barely average in my weight, I apparently am beautiful (which I hardly believe most of the time), I try things to make myself look better but the truth is, it's not what you look like it's how you feel. You are clearly a smart girl seeing how you've analyzed your problem and are trying to seek help to fix it, and you seem like a sweet girl. Yes, guys can be incredibly shallow and the teasing & taunting hurts very much, but your weight is not why you don't have a boyfriend. I've had my fair share of boyfriends and I've gone through my fair share of stupid boys, but you need to remember, you just haven't found a guy good enough for you. Any guy who will put you down clearly doesn't deserve such a great girl. And we all have low self esteem from time to time, but you have to look past that and see your inner beauty. Once you see how great you are for who you are, you might start to see the outer beauty more & more. You have my love & support.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Canada_Sweety

This is coming from someone who is almost on the exact same boat as you. I'm barely average in my weight, I apparently am beautiful (which I hardly believe most of the time), I try things to make myself look better but the truth is, it's not what you look like it's how you feel. You are clearly a smart girl seeing how you've analyzed your problem and are trying to seek help to fix it, and you seem like a sweet girl. Yes, guys can be incredibly shallow and the teasing & taunting hurts very much, but your weight is not why you don't have a boyfriend. I've had my fair share of boyfriends and I've gone through my fair share of stupid boys, but you need to remember, you just haven't found a guy good enough for you. Any guy who will put you down clearly doesn't deserve such a great girl. And we all have low self esteem from time to time, but you have to look past that and see your inner beauty. Once you see how great you are for who you are, you might start to see the outer beauty more & more. You have my love & support.

---

So true!!

As someone who was teased for her weight all through her teenage years I can tell this. You cannot allow yourself worth and self love be tied to what you look like. You need to love yourself and be good to yourself. Weight has nothing to do with how good of a person you are. People in this world are jerks and some people never have a nice thing to say. Remember fat does not equal bad and skinny does not equal good.

I remember as a teenager I always thought everything would be better if I could just be skinny. If I could just lose the weight I would be so happy and everything would be perfect. In my early 20's I finally lost the weight and got very thin. Guess what? I was more miserable then ever. I still had low self esteem and thought I looked bad. Men treated me like a sex object and I didn't know how to handle it. It actually made everything worse.

I eventually started taking steps to loving myself unconditionally. Now I couldn't care less what I weigh and what anybody else thinks about it. I'm healthy and that's what is important to me. You are on a good path, you exercise and have a healthy life that's all that matters. Tell those skinny chicks to choke on a chocolate and leave you alone!

Well I'm not going to lie, a lot of guys like skinny girls... but there's a big portion who don't even care about weight or even looks. My best friends mom is rele pretty but rele big and she has a cute husband who's devoted to her. Truth is if the guy you have in mind can't except you the way you are, then he's not even worth your time. Besides bigger people can get guys. Like mo'nique that famous comedian. She's rele pretty but big 2 and she's proud of it. Don't feel like you have to be like paris hilton to be pretty. Because whether this is what you believe or not, it's the beauty on the inside that matters most.

Hey, personality and heart count for a lot more than looks