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-   -   Should I date a woman 10 years older than me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=98933)

  • Jun 6, 2007, 12:17 AM
    Asaahi
    Should I date a woman 10 years older than me?
    Well, long story short; I was at a bus stop one day and gave my jacket to this woman because it was cold. I gave her my number and said I'll pick it up some other day. She told me her age. 28 years old, and she has three kids in South America. She also had a wedding ring on, but said she's not really committed, her husband is in South America also. So anyway, she calls me a couple times to talk, and it goes all right. But then I start ignoring her for a good four months, but she still calls all the time. I just broke up with this other girl, so I'm thinking, why not hook up with this 28 year old. She always calls me sweetheart, says she misses me, and wants to sing me songs she wrote.

    Should I be freaked out; Is she trying to kidnap me or something? LOL

    But she's nice, pretty cute, and I wouldn't mind having some fun. What does she want though?

    I live in LA and am 19 by the way...
  • Jun 6, 2007, 12:51 AM
    americangayboy
    I typically suggest against cheating or aiding someone in cheating; however, if she wants to cheat, she's going to. I would be careful about leading her on though... I'm guessing that with her family in South America, she's feeling pretty lonely and may want a little more than just a playmate. The age thing is not really an issue, you're both of legal age and you will just be having fun with her (I think). If you were pursuing her for a long term relationship, I would advise against it.

    By the way, is she/will she soon get a divorce?
  • Jun 6, 2007, 11:13 AM
    Gem07
    Stay far away from this woman! The age difference isn't the problem. Her marital status is an issue. First, it's wrong to have an affair. Second, you have no idea who her husband is and what he'll do to you when he finds out. And he will find out. This could be some kind of game she plays to make him jealous.. . How do you really know that her hubby/kids are really in S. America? They're probably right in LA. Right around the corner from you. You're dealing with a liar and con artist.. . If you want easy sex, there are lots of single girls that will oblige you. Good luck!
  • Jun 6, 2007, 11:17 AM
    shygrneyzs
    Put the brakes on this relationship before it begins. She is married and has children. What do you think can happen to you? Or is this just a boy toy kind of fling?

    It is your choice but there are single, unattached, unmarried women in LA. Find them and then you do not have to worry about anything, except practicing safe sex.
  • Jun 6, 2007, 11:18 AM
    Rockabilly1955mama
    Trouble, trouble, trouble. It's what you're in for if you do this. She is married and has children for goodness shake.

    Put yourself in her husbands shoes.
  • Jun 6, 2007, 11:21 AM
    saraispiel19
    Lol she wαnts to αdopt you αnd bring you to south αmericα..

    αll jokes αside : she mαrried leαve her αlone, your 19 there αre α lot of loose 19 yeαr olds thαt just wαnt to "hook up"
  • Jun 6, 2007, 11:27 AM
    talaniman
    This can only be a sex thing, and once she puts it on you younster, you will loose your heart and mind, and want more and she will use and abuse you, as she is married with kids already, so your just something to do. The thing to do would find someone your own age and maturity, and find real love and leave this dead end stuff alone.
  • Jun 6, 2007, 02:15 PM
    NowWhat
    Like others have said - the age difference isn't the problem. If she was a single 28 year old - then go for it. You are at your peak - she is getting into hers.
    BUT... SHE IS MARRIED - translation - OFF LIMITS!
    She may be nice, cute, whatever - she is a mother and a wife. Do you want to be responsible for breaking up a family? I don't care if they live in South America or Timbukto. SHE IS MARRIED. And for all you know, her husband is the kind that will KILL you for messing with his wife. Do you want to die for a little fun? Stranger things have happened.
    Don't be foolish.
  • Jun 6, 2007, 03:00 PM
    darkness1970us
    I'm seeing problems here aside from the marital status (which may or may not be a problem, who knows).

    Why is everything having to do with her life in South America?

    I'm not saying that this is definitely a problem, but just the little bit you have told me so far screams scam. How much do you know about her? How much does she know about you? Is she even a legal citizen? What does her husband do in South America (There are a lot of disreputable careers down there, a lot of reputable jobs as well but you see my point)?

    Age... Not a big deal. I've dated as much as a 15 year gap older and 10 years younger than me.

    Marriage... Depends. Does her husband know that she is coloring outside of the lines? Is he okay with it? If the answer to either of those is "no", then it is a problem.
  • Jun 6, 2007, 05:09 PM
    kirriky
    [QUOTE=darkness1970us]I'm seeing problems here aside from the marital status... Is she even a legal citizen? What does her husband do in South America (There are a lot of disreputable careers down there, a lot of reputable jobs as well but you see my point)?

    Are you saying one can't have sex with "illegal citizens"? What does THAT have to do with anything?

    And, excuse me, but there are a lot of disreputable careers in the USA too. (or wherever it is that you live).

    My guess is her husband is down there working and taking care of their kids while she's trying to make some extra money in the usa, maybe she's got family here. What's yours?

    In any case, I think your prejudicial comments are completely out of line.

    The only problem with this south american issue is that her husband story may be fake, and that she's looking for a husband in the states so that she can bring her kids to the US.
  • Jun 7, 2007, 10:29 AM
    darkness1970us
    Okay... My comments are not based on the fact that she is using South America. I don't really care what country it is. She is giving information that is difficult at best to verify. BTW, I did mention that there are reputable jobs there as well.

    As far as the illegal citizen thing. Simple scam. Lead him on for a while, then con him into marrying her to get citizenship.

    The point I'm trying to make is that she is potentially trying to scam the kid, and he needs to watch his back. I would make the same comments if she was from Europe, Asia, Australia, or Africa and gave the same story. Point and fact. I'm not prejudice, I hate everyone equally :D
  • Mar 29, 2009, 05:13 AM
    Marvin Valeros

    If you just want to have fun with her
    And you know that she also wants to do that
    Then GO FOR IT!!

    Especially in SEX... LOL

    But if you are a good person your
    CONSCIENCE will just act and say

    "she already have a husband, so don't mess with her"

    And there are plenty of PRETTY, SEXY and HOT
    Girls that is your age, or a LITTLE BIT older that will hook up with you

    So just wait

    And about the 28 year old women just put in mind that your just friends and NOTHING MORE everything will settle if you keep that in mind OK?

    Hehehe
    Hope that I helped you
  • Jun 3, 2010, 01:04 PM
    positiveparent

    As has been stated by other replies, the age gap isn't the issue here so much as that she is Married another mans wife and she is posssibly filling in time.

    Ask yourself do you want to be
    2nd best because basically that's what you'll be, stay away from people who aren't free to give you what you can give them.

    It's a road to heartbreak and that's a fact.

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