I'm recently found out that I am pregnant. My boyfriend is black and I am white. My parents haven't met him even though we have been together 6 months already. They completely disapprove of us being together. My question now is how do I mend any relationship with my parents; knowing they do not except us being together and now to bring a biracial baby into the mix is completely unexceptable to them. My boyfriend and I plan on keeping the baby and eventually getting married. But I still would like to have a relationship with my parents and begin a family with my boyfriend.

Samething happened with my sisterinlaw. My inlaws love this little girl with all their hearts now. She is not with the man anymore but the little girl is doing very well

You are thirty years old and make your decisions without your parents. You cannot change how they feel, you cannot change their reaction to your boyfriend or the child you are carrying. That is all true, right?

You can welcome them to your home, introduce them to your boyfriend, be cordial and the rest is really up to them. It is sad that they say they cannot accept your life now. They should be trusting you that you made the best decisions possible and trust your judgement.

Often parents change their attitudes after the baby is born. Once they see their grandchild and see how much you and your boyfriend love each other and that baby. I truly hope it works that way with you.

But honestly, the best thing for you to do now is to keep open communications with your parents, let them know you love them, but also stand up for your beliefs. If they come and start in with the negatives, be prepared to ask them to stay somewhere else. Pray that they will open their minds and hearts. You have some obstacles now. But they are able to be overcome.

Good luck to you and your boyfriend and your baby.

You let time go on and hope. It may be that you never will. My wife is black, and we have a child. We have been to my parents house 2 times in 10 years. And one of those was for my fathers funeral. ( and we waited 7 years for the first visit) and to be honest there will not be any more.

In our case, they never accepted, and never will, but I am a adult,and this is their problem, not my problem. So we go on

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Originally Posted by rebecca2602

I'm recently found out that I am pregnant. My boyfriend is black and I am white. My parents haven't met him even though we have been together 6 months already. They completely disapprove of us being together. My question now is how do I mend any relationship with my parents; knowing they do not except us being together and now to bring a biracial baby into the mix is completely unexceptable to them. My bf and I plan on keeping the baby and eventually getting married. But I still would like to have a relationship with my parents and begin a family with my bf.

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Is this your first child?

This type of situation is happening all the time. Are there reasons they possibly should not like and accept him?

You are a grown woman and should be able to make your own decisions with or without their approval? What does his family think?

This is a big decision that you have to sit down and analyze and make a decision you will not have any regrets for. In the end it is all about the child and not anyone else.

This isn't my first child. I was married for 10 years to a white man and we had 2 beautiful boys. My parents are throwing that into this mix too. They say that I am opening them up to many things that don't have to be. Ie; getting teased because their mother is with a black man. My mother has told me that she will never see this baby that I'm pregnant with and will never meet my boyfriend. I don't understand how a grandmother could turn her back on her grandchild because of its skin color.

My parents aren't racist they just don't agree with mixing races. They think it is "wrong". My bf's name is Steven and he is 10 years older than me. He is a supervisor at a parts plant in our area. Before that he was an area manager at GM. He is established, has his own home, and 3 other children before we met. He is a well spoken professional ex-Atlanta GA police officer. If my parents would even be open enough to hear anything about him they would realize he is a good family man.

I was never raised to be racist. So my parents behavior is so off the wall for me! I don't expect them to ever meet my boyfriend but I didn't think they would ever turn me away because of my choices. I tell them I am a grown woman who can make her own decisions. They truly aren't having it. My mother has gone as far to say to me that I know what I have to do to make my life right. I know she means an abortion. I don't believe in that and will never do that (I'm 9 weeks pregnant.)

She has told me that the only way she can deal with this is to close the door on me and "this man" she calls him. And that nothing to do with "this man" will ever be allowed or accepted in their home.

I'm truly lost! I never expected my family to turn on me. Ahhhh... I am now faced with aborting my baby or losing my family. And I hate that my parents have put me in that position to make that decision.

You just need to accept that your parents don't like it, but don't blame yourself for that. I think the older generation, or at least some of them, hold different views to the younger generation (us lol!) And some of them vcant break out of it. Keep your door open to your parents, let them know when the baby is born, don't stop them seeing your other kids, try to be as normal as possible around them, and see what happens when baby is here. I bet once they see baby their hearts will melt and all will be forgotten. If they don't, it is their loss not yours. It seems they are trying to emotionally blackmail you into their way of thinking, and that's not fair on you. Good luck, and I hope things work out.

I suggest that you simply talk respectfully to your parents and say, "I know you are concerned about what people will think of me for being with a black man and having a biracial baby, and I know that some people disapprove. My friends are excited for me, and the people I work with are, too. I have to ask you to trust my judgement, and love my child and let me work the rest out."

Getting married before the baby is born would take one objection off the table, if you plan to marry in a few years - why not now?

Lose your family, you would kill a baby because your parents are racist ?

You have your own family, next what your parents will or won't do 2 years from now is hard to say.

So just don't visit them, leave your life with your real family.

Hello Rebecca

Relax... you know in time your parents will Love your baby. A babies smile bypasses all lines of color. Until they admit it enjoy knowing it is killing them not to tell you how excited they are for you.

Hard as it is, sometimes we have to let go of people we love because they have become toxic. Bigotry is toxic, you don't need that in your life.

I would tell them simply "I love you, but you are wrong and hurtful and I won't let you cause me any more pain nor hurt my child or BF, whom I love, with your bigotry. The door is open if you can walk through it with unconditional love for me and mine"

The ball's in their court.

You need to let go the idea of the idealist set of parents and realise they are individuals in their own right, with their own flaws, and they are either very ignorant or racist. Explain to your parents that you are a intellegent adult capable of making your own decisions, they must be respectful of your partner and child, and you will not choose between them and if they decide to choose for you, then maybe your better off without them. Provide your parents the opportunity to meet your partner and give them the opportunity to get to judge him on the strength of his character, as people should be judged not gender, sexuality, race nor religion. If you are unable or unwilling to accept your happiness, then it is better to embrace those around you who are supportive and loving, remember the wider community will embrace your family as a whole with love.

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Originally Posted by rebecca2602

I'm recently found out that I am pregnant. My boyfriend is black and I am white. My parents haven't met him even though we have been together 6 months already. They completely disapprove of us being together. My question now is how do I mend any relationship with my parents; knowing they do not except us being together and now to bring a biracial baby into the mix is completely unexceptable to them. My bf and I plan on keeping the baby and eventually getting married. But I still would like to have a relationship with my parents and begin a family with my bf.

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Sometimes there nothing you can do but let them feel the way they do and just pray that things change I'm 20 and just found out that I am pregnant I'm white and my boyfriend is black when it came to telling my parents my mother told me that if I kept the baby I was out of the family

Well I just got married and I know that if you try to make everyone happy you will never be happy. I asked my mom to walk me down the isle because my dad wasn't really in the picture, even though I spent holidays and weekends with him... he just wasn't "daddy" if you know what I mean.. well finally I realized I'm going to do what make me happy and I did and he finally after 10 years gave me a hug and calls me now, because he now realizes what he missed, and your parents will too. A baby is a baby and deserves to be loved, red yellow black or white! I am proud that you made the decision to keep it and you should be too! Your parents will come around just be honest with them!! GOOD LUCK! :)

You are 30 and if your parents can't accept your choice that is their lose. Make the best life with YOUR family-bf and baby. I (personally) would even go as far as narrowing it down to if it is a choice between my parents and the boyfriend and baby I am carrying I would choose my boyfriend and baby and let the chips fall where they will. Time tends to heal a lot of things that we spend hours worrying about as well as change hearts to your favor. When your parents see the baby hopefully they melt at the site of their grand baby.

Real love is hard to find any more and your parents should be glad that you are happy and in a good relationship. I'd rather that my kids marry someone outside their race that treats them good than marry someone the same race for appearance that doesn't treat them right.

It can really turn the tables if instead of changing your parents views, you take a soft and compassionate approach and just say, "you know, I feel so badly because I want to make you proud, but I also love Dave. I know you raised me a certain way, but I also have to do what I feel is right in my heart - you taught me to do that, too. I hope with time you will come to understand how much I love him, and our baby, and that you will want to be part of our lives. " I think, also, that marrying him would make a difference. If your parents are traditional people, this will elevate their view of him as your husband, and not the guy who got you pregnant.

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Originally Posted by rebecca2602

I'm recently found out that I am pregnant. My boyfriend is black and I am white. My parents haven't met him even though we have been together 6 months already. They completely disapprove of us being together. My question now is how do I mend any relationship with my parents; knowing they do not except us being together and now to bring a biracial baby into the mix is completely unexceptable to them. My bf and I plan on keeping the baby and eventually getting married. But I still would like to have a relationship with my parents and begin a family with my bf.

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My sister was in the same situation, and my mother completely disapproved of the relationship and her having the child. She was 16 at the time and I will have to say it was hard for her. But right after my nephew was born all things changed. His 25 years old now and she has two more sons, also bi-racial. The times we are living in are changing, and our parents are from the time that races didn't mix. You need to realize that not everyone will except you or your children but you have to decide what is best for you and your family and God up above, he doesn't make mistakes, God that is. Your parents may never change their minds, but then again they might. Do what is best for you and your child and just ask God for the strength to go through all the tough things life will hand you. God Bless, and best wishes.

I am in the same boat. He's not as established but he is a good man. I found out last week I'm pregnant. I am 27 and I know its my choice. But it is still hard to tell my parents. I do not know what to do.

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Originally Posted by lilmama07

sometimes there nothing you can do but let them feel the way they do and just pray that things change i'm 20 and just found out that i am pregnant i'm white and my bf is black when it came to telling my parents my mother told me that if i kept the baby i was out of the family

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b

My mother said the same thing last year.