My sister had her baby at 8:49am it is now 9:35am. This is her 3rd baby and she turned 17 in February... Her first baby shae gave up for adoption her second one she kept and this one she gave up for adoption as well. When people ask me, "Is your sister keeping the baby?" I tell them the truth "No, she is giving it up for adoption." the comments that follow that statement are mean rude hateful and disgusting "Your sister gets around!" "She's stupid she should keep it" "Anyone in their right minds would have kept the baby" "I'm surprised your not pregnant yet" "Ewww!" "Gross!" "I'm glad I'm not her sister" etc etc etc

SHUT UP!!

Nobody knows what it's like to have to deal with this crap! You think I like waking up and knowing that I NEVER got to meet 2 of my nephews? You think I like the fact that my baby sister has 3 kids? Honestly? Maybe people think I LIKE hearing them bag on my sister when they don't even know her?? My sister is NOT a $lut! She's NOT a bad person! She's a bigger better stronger person then any of you, or I, can ever comprehend! There are so many things about my sister that these "peopel" look right past or don't even know about her... She's funny and bubbly and happy, she's a great mom, she's a wonderful friend, she's so selfless, she's caring and kind and giving...

WHY DO PEOPLE CHOOSE TO BE SO IGNORANT? What is wrong with our society today that people have no sympathy or compassion towards someone that are in a harder spot then they are?

Does anyone out there know where I am coming from? Does anyone care what we have turned into as a culture and society?

I think people get tripped up on the fact that she is 17 and has had three kids. But, the strength it must of taken to give up her child. Because of her - another family has a child that they wouldn't have otherwise. She was selfless enough to recognize that her child would be better taken care of with another family. It takes STRENGTH to do that. She could have just got the pregnancy terminated and called it a day.

May I ask why she decided to keep the middle child?

The first one she had when she was too young so the obvious answer was adoption, when she had her 2nd son she was older and she wanted a baby because of the one she gave up for adoption so she kept him, and the baby she Just had... well she can't afford two baby's that are BOTh under a year old...

There are so many questions that come to mind with something like this. I do not want to offend you by asking them.
But, I guess here goes.
Does she not get the idea of protection?
Do all three babies have the same Dad?
Does she still live at home with your parents? What do they say about all of this?

I will keep it to those, that is what comes to mind immediately. I am not trying to offend you, I am just trying to understand.

She was on birthcontrol the last 2x and she thought that you couldn't get pregnant while using it.

Yes all three babies have the same Dad

She does live at home and they say, well they don't talk about it they pretend it's all a bad dream

Wow. I hope that she knows now, that birth control is not 100%...

In life - things happen. Now that there are 3 babies out in the world, you can't make them go away. I am just glad that she had the sense to know what her limitations are - as far as being able to care for the babies. There are lots of couples out there that can not have kids of their own. Because of your sister, 2 families have been created. I guess that is the silver lining in this.

Hopefuly you have learned from your sisters example.

Living in the shadow of a troubled sibling is not easy. I had my older brother and everyone pegged myself and my younger brother to be just like him. Which was the exact opposite. My youngest brother and I tried so hard to stay under the radar and never strayed from the rules. So I know what you feel like and yes, it is horrid what people say and what people think.

You cannot go by what they say or think. That is their ignorance and thoughtlessness. Plain stupidity. It is tough to turn away and not want to slap someone silly who starts in lilke that but you know that does not solve the problem. Just fuels their fire.

People who dig like those who make fun of your sister and your sister's life get some kind of superior air to themselves. Thinking they "would never do that". Yeah right. Easy to point a finger, not so easy to clean off one's own porch. I know it is hard, but learn to tune those people out. Yes, you can say something to them, like, "this is none of your business", because it is none of their business.

I do hope, for your sister's sake, that her life gets better.

Hi,

Is there a way of getting preganant without direct sex?

On the whole... it takes a very courageous, selfless woman to give a baby up for adoption. Most people who judge never see the selflessness and emotional heartbreak a woman is willing to endure in order to give her child a better life. Count your sister in the class who can see this... Though she is young and has a lot to learn... the selflessness any true mother should possess is not one of them (lessons to be learned). I say... who cares what others think. Ultimately living in our own skin is the most important task we have... Be proud that your sister made choices affirming her love for her children. There are many choices your sister could have made yet didn't. The people who are judging aren't very knowledgeable about what life is really like. Full of difficult times and hard choices yet somehow manageable. Good luck to both you and your sister. Be proud! Cathy

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Originally Posted by rosy23

Hi,

Is there a way of getting preganant without direct sex?

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Yes. But it is very difficult

I know how you feel ! I too have had a similar problem and it does hurt ! Have you every heard stick and stones break my bones but words never hurt me? Well that old saying was wrong ,words do hurt people . That is why we are finally seeing schools do something about bullies !
But don't let it get you down ! Don't react at all to them, that just gives them more fire to play with . Realize what kind of people they are and start now by not caring what others say about you .
They will move on to some one else in a few months time ! The best way to get to them is to be a bigger person and make your life shine ! Join clubs and do better in school and Realize that what come around goes around and one day they will get theirs !
Keep your head up High !~

I am the adoptive mother of a boy who's birth mother had him at 17, and has since had, and placed for adoption, two more little boys. My son is a gift, and the greatest pleasure in my life. His mother was in pain, seeking approval and love and not even understanding her own behaviors. She thought that having sex with men would make them love her and stay because she was so lonely it was unbearable.

It's easy to call a woman a slut or whore or whatever, but it's a very cruel thing to do. Women who start to have this type of reputation sometimes see no way to have a different kind of life because other people will no longer give them a chance.

You might want to talk to your sister and parents about whether there's somewhere your sister can go to live to get a fresh start - somewhere that she does not have a reputation to limit her own view of herself and her prospects. Perhaps you have relatives in another town or state where she could go to community college, or finish high school or whatever? She will have to explain her past in the future if she marries, but there are many people who have things in their pasts that are hard, and they can change their path.

When people call her names or say hurtful things to you about her, you might consider responding not in anger but with a comment like, "clearly, she is acting out of pain and lonliness and I would appreciate if you not add to it by judging her. She is my sister and I love her." It's amazing how an example of compassion can change people.