Ok My Partner Had To Lay Out Of Work Due To His Wife Having A Baby,
I Called Over 10 Different People To Help Me For A Few Days And No One Could. So I Told My Wife That I Was Going To Have To My Other Friend She Didn't Like. For Those Who Don't Know The First Part Of This Story, I Have A Friend, Best Friend Really For The Last 6 Years Or So That Helps Me Trim Houses, She's Actually Good At It, But When I Got Married My Wife Has Pitched A Fit.
So Back To Now...
She Helped Me The Whole Week Getting Stuff Done. A lot More Productive Than Just Myself. Of Course I Heard It Everyday When I Got Home. I Want Get Into Details Of That. Anyway She Couldn't Understand Why I Still Had Her Work With Me When It Upset Her Some Much. Was This Wrong To Do? I Have A Business To Run. And From The Start Of Us Dating , She Knew I Had A Friend That Was A Girl That Helped Me From Time To Time,
Well Needless To Say The Last Day We Worked My Wife Sent A Letter To My Neighbors Husband, Saying She Was Tired Of Me Taking Care Of His Wife Since He Couldn't, No More Talking On The Phone, We Were Not To Be Seen Talking Outside, My Daughter Can't Go Play With Her Kids.
She Now Has Access To My Phone Records To Keep A Check On Us.
Now Also Keep In Mind There Has Never , Ever Been Anything Between Me And My Friend, Ever. But As It Stands Now We Don't Talk Anymore , When Were Outside We Avoid Each Other Cause Of What Will Be Said About Us Talking.
I Don't Keep A lot Of Friends , Just A Few And I Hate Losing One. Especially For Reasons That Aren't True.

So My Problem Right Now Is Im Just Mad I Guess , Every time We Get Backed Up Im Thinking It Be Nice To Be Able To Call Her But Its Not Worth It.
I Can Pay Her 10 An Hour And Get More Out Of Her Than Most Guys Ive Used.

I Know Most Are Thinking Well She's Your Wife And She Comes First, But Its Also My Business, And A Best Friend That Ive Had For 15yrs And 7 Years,
Wife Only 1 1/2 Yrs.

I can see the predicament you were in. But... you knew how your wife felt about this woman. If you called 10 people and no one could help then call 10 more.
Your wife must feel pretty strongly about this otherwise, she would NOT have sent a letter to the other's husband. Otherwise, she would not have restricted play time with your daughter and the other's kids.
For whatever reason, your wife doesn't not feel secure when it comes to you and this woman. You may have, inadvertently, made her feel like she comes second with you.

It doesn't matter that you have known the friend longer - you made a commitment to the woman you are married to.

If this was reversed - she had a male friend that you just did not like because you felt in your heart that something more is going on and your wife continued to have a relationship with him. How would you feel?

I Was With My First Wife For I Guess 8yrs, And 5yrs Before That We Were Best Friends, She Ended Up Cheatin On Me, After That, Ive Not Dated Anyone Whom I Couldn't Walk Away From If I Had To.
So If She Had A Friend Like That And Was Upfront With Me, Then That Would Be Fine, Im Comfident In Myself That She Wouldn't Cheat, Im Just Not Jealous As I Might Have Once Been

Quote:

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Originally Posted by glavine

So My Problem Right Now Is Im Just Mad I Guess , Everytime We Get Backed Up Im Thinking It Be Nice To Be Able To Call Her But Its Not Worth It.
I Can Pay Her 10 An Hour And Get More Out Of Her Than Most Guys Ive Used.

I Know Most Are Thinking Well Shes Your Wife And She Comes First, But Its Also My Business, And A Best Friend That Ive Had For 15yrs And 7 Years,
Wife Only 1 1/2 Yrs.

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It sounds like you are just using that as an excuse to keep seeing/working with your "friend". If you invested the same amount of time properly training and finding a competent male worker as you do making use of this woman's time then you would have a male worker that meets your professional expectations.

You marriage partner is suppose to be the most important woman in your life (aside from a mother and/or daughter). You have shown her that she isn't. So can you really blame her for being angry and upset when you completely disregard her needs (and yes it is a need) in favor of another woman. You have put your wife into a defensive position where she feels the needs to compete for you. Maybe you like that or secretly want that, who knows. The reality is that if you valued your marriage and your wife's feelings you would accommodate her needs. In turn she would most likely try in other ways to accommodate your needs or show you that she respects you again.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by glavine

I Was With My First Wife For I Guess 8yrs, And 5yrs Before That We Were Best Friends, She Ended Up Cheatin On Me, After That, Ive Not Dated Anyone Whom I Couldnt Walk Away From If I Had To.

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Once bitten, twice shy? I fully understand. BUT... that statement right there tells me that you were hurt by your first wife and that you will not allow yourself to fully let go as to protect yourself from that hurt you have experienced in the past. So, when you dated your wife and the married her - was it in the back of your head that you could walk way at any time? If so, no wonder she feels second. You are not letting her in completely. She is paying for another woman's sins. You have built a wall around your heart therefore, not giving 100% of it to your wife.

I Wasn't Planning On Getting Married, I Had Just Gotten Out Of My Divorce And Had Dated A Few People, When One Of Which I Had Been With For Maybe 6months Got Pregnant, I Felt Like I Had No Choice But To Marry Her. So I Did

Let Me Add Im Not Blammin Anyone Else, I Got Myself Into This, I Just Can't Help But Think That There Was Someone I Was Meant To Be With, I Just Didn't Think It Was This Girl, It Just Happened So Fast,

I bet your wife picks up on this - it almost sounds like resentment. Or she may know that you only married her because of the pregnancy. That would leave a lot of people insecure.
Bottom line, if you aren't prepared to walk away from your marriage - then you need to give 110% to it. If that requires counseling - then go. I promise you that if you put the effort in to it - you will reap a reward.

Your marriage does need working on as she should be comfortable with your business decisions. She may need to talk to someone about trust, insecurity and jealousy, as I think her calling your friends husband, and preventing kids from playing is to far over the edge.

You made a commitment to your wife and she made one to you. There has to be mutual trust in a relationship and obviously there is not. I think she stepped way over the line with that letter. I can understand her jealousy to a certain degree but if she doesn't like your choice of employees then tell her to come to work for you and you'll pay her. She doesn't trust you so you both need to work on fixing that.

If you could only be as committed to your wife as your are to your friend the marriage may come to you easier. Sometimes we have to grow up and learn to deal with change. You can not always have things just they way you want them, if you did you wouldn't be happy that way either. Life is about change and compromise. Everything happens for a reason. You sound like you are afraid of letting go of this friend because she is the only female that you have been able to keep happy. Maybe that's because you are so dedicated to your friendship with her. Try that in your marriage. Nothing is life worth having is easy to get. You have to work at it. I say leave the friend alone and respect your wife's wishes for now. The friend should have already gotten out of the picture if she knew that it was causing problems in your relationship. It seems like there is more to your story.

Sounds like your wife have some insecurities.trust is important in a relationship

glavine, although it was an overreaction on her part, what your wife did in writing that letter, is her way of screaming for your attention and respect. Considering what you have written in your posts, I very much doubt you have given that to her. Do you really want to stay in your marriage? It sounds like you don't. You have never mentioned from what I can recall whether you really love your wife. It sounds more like you felt obligated because she became pregnant. That isn't a reason to get married and commit your life to another person. Although it is always nice for a child to grow up with two parents, it is not always the best situation for everyone involved.

It appears to me that you never had closure with your first wife. You carried that anger and distrust with you into this new marriage. This is detrimental not only to her mental health, it is detrimental to yours, and certainly to your child's. Forget about your female friend for a moment, because it really isn't about her. It is about you, and your wife. Even though you believe you did the honorable thing by marrying her, you did not. You are withholding your love, trust, commitment, respect, and the ability to find compromises that are of vital importance in a good marriage. Are you sure you want to stay married? Do you hold any love for her? If the answer is yes to these questions, then I think it would be a very smart move on your part to start seeking out an experienced marriage counselor in your area. An objective third party will help you figure out how to find your bliss in your marriage. If your wife refuses to go with you, then go alone. You need outside help, way beyond this web site, to help you sort things out.

If you don't want to stay married, then you need to get out of it and spare that poor woman any more heartache than she has already experienced with you.

Yes rubypit is right if you want to save your marriage you need outside help. One that will listen to both sides. I will say that I tend to agree with, you because you were up front with your wife from the start. But that does not matter now. There is a child involved here. I wish you luck you, sound like a decent man

Ok Girl Is Gone, Huge Blow Out In The Front Yard Last Night Till 2am.
Looked Like Girls Gone Wild Out There
I Didn't Bother Attending The Show.
As It Stands I No Longer Have This Best Friend Of 6yrs
Ive Also Decided That My Happiness Comes Second To My 18m Olds
Id Much Rather Be Focus On Her Than What I Feel I Should Be Getting Or Feeling At This Time.
However, Startover22 , I Will Agree With You One This,, I Am Selfish. Ive Learned One Thing Over The Years Of Friends And Girlfriends, Wives, At The End Of The Day, Everyone Is For Themselves, Im Just Like Everyone Else, Except Ill Admit It, If Your Not. Then Im Sure It's a Sad Little Life Being A People Pleaser. When Given A Change Your Best Friend Would Stab You In The Back, Ive Had People Let Me Down That Id Never Believe Could. And As A Result Im On The Team Ive Always Been On And That's Mine.

Now Before I Look Like An . I Will Say I Do Thank All Of You For Your Opionions, I Read All Of And Consider Them. And To Be Honest I Understand Where Your All Coming From And I Can Understand Why You Think The Way You Do. However Ive Had Things Happen That Prevent Me Or Make Me Vary Wary Of Thinking Your Way.

Never The Less It Was A Less Stressful Day Than The Past, As Much As I Will Miss My Friend Or As I Thought She Was, It Was Time To Move On And Put My Focus Where It Needed To Be.. . back On Me... No Im Kidding , Right Now Its All About My Daugther And What's Best For Her. She Is Deserving Of Both Her Parents In A Happy Home.
Thanks Everybody.

And Startover,, I Like That Fistyness. Tell It Like It Is Girl.

Your daughter does need 2 happy parents. Just keep in mind that she will be able to tell if Mommy and Daddy are happy together. And that you are setting the example of what marriage is supposed to look like. So if you truly want to have a happy kid - then you need to be happy and your wife does too. Together - with trust and faith in one another - you can accomplish that.
Good Luck to you.

Good luck