I liked this lad a lot and he used to like me, well he would tell me and others within work that he adored me. I knew he was a bad boy, but he said he would change as that was how much I meant to him, things were beginning to change, I had noticed improvements and things, and then another of my friends took me aside a week ago and said this lad was seeing a mate of mine who also works in the same shop. Apparently he had been texting her for a while, as he did with me everyday, but they had been together for two weeks before. Although my texts stopped coming through everyday, there was still the odd one every now and again and they were just as flirty and normal as ever, so I still thought I had a chance even if he had backed off a bit.

Obviously when I discovered I was gutted, I burst into tears, and the girl he was seeing knew I knew. The pair of them went a bit quiet on me, but she confronted me and asked me if it was OK. Obviously I was still gutted but I didn't want to give them the satisfaction so I played it off like I was happy for them and hoped it all worked out well.

Although the lad had been ignorin me, the past two days he has started speaking to me again, obviously its not quite the same, but I can tell if I allowed it to be he would still act flirty around me, and still looks me straight in the eyes for ages with that look he gives me, he kept complimenting me like her used to and noticing little things about new hair cut, new eye shadow new ring and other little things.

My mate who told me reckons he is just with this girl to get at me, as only a month ago he was slaggin her off and she was slaggin him off, and it all seems to have turned round quickly from him hating her and loving me to loving her and acting behind my back and telling people behind my back he doesn't give a toss about me.

I still have feelings for him, but I know nothing can or would ever happen now, what do you think to this? Do you think he still likes me? How can I get over him?

Please help me!

You can always be wary when someone says that they will change "just for you". Chances are the changes are not that real nor will they last that long. You saw that in this young man and it hurts you.

How to get over this? First of all, you do not contact him anymore. Do not answer his phone calls or im's or text messages (should he contact you). Physically break everything off. He has someone else, then let it be that way. But do not be the one waiting in the wings for him to come around, once he has had his fun with the other girl.

You get busy in life. Get back with your friends, find new friends, get into a hobby, can you get a jon (or do you have a job), do some volunteer work (someplace that will give you a different outlook on people and the problems they face, like a nursing home or women's shelter). Do you go to church where there is group for people in your age bracket? Treat yourself to a makeover, a pedicure or manicure. Do something physical, like swimming or walking, etc. The idea is to be busy. Be so busy that you do not have time to concentrate on this low life turncoat of a guy.

He is so not worth your time and effort. You deserve better than him. You need to know that. Sometimes women settle for less, thinking that is the best they deserve. No way is that true.

Good luck to you. Take care and have a good time getting on with life.

Thanks for the advice there, its greatly appreciated I know I can do better, these two are well suited, but it just makes me feel sick to think of them together when I still like him. I should be revising at current, but my mind is always focused and him or no him and her! Its effecting the revision, so I need to take fast action with the advice as I only have days/hours before my exams now!
Thanks for the help, I need to hear stuff like that to keep me going!

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Originally Posted by ladmess

my mate who told me reckons he is just with this girl to get at me,

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I dont understand that, why would the guy you are seeing, go with somebody else to get at you?
I think hes playing the both of you.

I was not seeing him, we just had some chemistry between us, texting, talking in work, calling, socialising (with others), but he knew he had to change if he wanted to date me, so behind my back he has been with this other girl doing all he did with me with her and more!
My friend reckons, he is only dating her, to get back at me, to make me jealous in a way, if that makes sense? As he (less than a month ago) was slagging this girl he is dating off no end!
To be honest, I am gutted about what has happened, but now I KNOW nothing will ever happen between me and him, and the way he has handled this situation (which is appalling, given that I am not in the wrong, and he is so obviously blanking me for no apparent reason!) therefore this is making it easier for me to get over him!
It is hard seeing them together, but I have to be strong, I can do better than him!