I know this will sound shallow compared to some peoples posts here but I got to find some peace. I have suffered from depression for 20 yrs which is most of my life. Just recently I did a stupid thing and cheated on my boyfriend because I felt insecure and unloved. Now I have lost him, someone who really did care for me, someone who helped me and wanted me around. He says I need to fix my depression and maybe we can have a chance. I don't think I can be fixed and I don't want to live my life this way anymore (as I have been for 20yrs now). I don't see another way out, I just want to die.

:(

You don't want to die, you are just saying that because you feel there is no other way to deal with all your overwhelming feelings right now. Remember that you are in charge of your own life, and the choices you make (good or bad) will have a direct impact on you. You can stop letting depression run your life, and tak control again. For many of us, the way we have always been ends up being a scapegoat for anything we do. We always tend to make excuses for ourselves using our personality or physical defects as our scapegoat.

You can take control of your life again, but only you can do it. You need to seek out a therapist, and start making changes. You may never be 100% better, but I know when you start feeling well again it will reflect into all aspects of your life. You need to be optimistic, and not let depression stop you from being the person you want to be.

In addition to thereapy, you will need to rid yourself of the things that make you feel bad. Surround yourself with people and things that make you feel good or remind you of who your really are. Don't stop working because it is difficult, know that you can beat it and you can feel whole again. It will take work and a complete change of mindset, and some times of feeling vulnerable, but it will be well worth it in the end. You are in control, you have the power to change, and you are worth living for!

Read this article, maybe it will help inspire your change.
Not Again - It's Time To Get Over Depression

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Originally Posted by punkgrrl420

I know this will sound shallow compared to some peoples posts here but I gotta find some peace. I have suffered from depression for 20 yrs which is most of my life. Just recently I did a stupid thing and cheated on my boyfriend because I felt insecure and unloved. Now I have lost him, someone who really did care for me, someone who helped me and wanted me around. He says I need to fix my depression and maybe we can have a chance. I dont think I can be fixed and I dont want to live my life this way anymore (as I have been for 20yrs now). I dont see another way out, I just want to die.

:(

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Don't say that you got me upset no one really wants die life is beautifull it's the way you live it hun if you love this person you will change for him he has done noting but love you don't u think he deserves to be happy with you every body can be fixed if they want 2 hun if your willing 2 give it ago it will change I was like you depression and then I made a stop 2 it I was not going 2 let it stand in my way of happpiness look at me now I'm happy healthy and being loved why can't you change you can try for him at least hun