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-   -   3 year old daughter thinks she rules the house (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=98213)

  • Jun 3, 2007, 03:38 PM
    luckyashley7
    3 year old daughter thinks she rules the house
    My daughter hit the terrible 2's when she was 18 months old and now she is 3 1/2 and still not letting up. We have went to the local Health Department for help but nothing seems to work. She acts horrible when my husband is gone to work which is 6 days a week, but she always wants mommy and to go with me when I go somewhere, I have tried time out, swats, taking toys and things she likes away from her. It is hard to take things away from her though because I have a daughter that is almost 2 and I don't want to punish her and take away her toys.(they share a room) today she had me in tears, I am a stay at home mom but going back into the work force for about a year then intending on home schooling my children after that. Any help, ideas, or suggestions would be appreciated.:(
  • Jun 3, 2007, 03:54 PM
    NowWhat
    Consistency is key at this age. I would have taken the terrible two's any day over when my daughter turned 3. She was testing me at every thing, wanted independence yet I couldn't be out of her sight. I feel your pain.

    I know you said you have tried time outs - do you have her go to her room? With the toys being in there it may not be much of a punishment.
    We have a time out/crying corner in our house. It is pretty much in the center of the house - but if ours does something bad - she goes to the time out corner - stands up with her nose in the corner. If she gets out - her time starts over. Eventually she learned to do her time and get it over with. When she would pitch fits, it would turn into the crying corner. I would tell her that I could not talk to her when she was behaving like that and if she just needed to cry - fine, but she would have to do it in the corner - she would sit down and face outward. I would tell her when she was calmed down we could then talk.
    It really did work for us. We also, as she has gotten older, limit her TV. She LOVES the TV so when she is misbehaving - she loses what time she does get.
    Hope this helps.
  • Jun 3, 2007, 03:58 PM
    NowWhat
    Oh, and for those days when she just won't listen. You gently, but firmly, take her face and give her no choice but to be nose to nose with you. Tell her in your calmest voice that whatever she is doing is unacceptable and then tell her what you expect from her. What that does is make her STOP and FOCUS on you and what you are saying.
  • Jun 18, 2007, 01:27 PM
    ceeceesworld
    UHG. Don't you hate those tantrums? I have a three year old, too Like one of the other people said--Consistency is the key. Pick a punishment and stick to it. When she starts with the tantrums--IGNORE her. If she is thrashing in the floor, step over her. It is so hard in the beginning and you feel like you are being the worst parent in the world, but as long as she is not hurt or in danger, she will be fine. Her screaming and crying is her way to control and she knows that if she is consistent in her behavior, you will give in. With my daughter, if she gets put in time out--the time doesn't start until the screaming stops. She has to learn to control herself--you can't do that for her.
  • Jun 18, 2007, 05:57 PM
    luckyashley7
    Yeah I know, sometimes it just feels like nothing is working. She has really good days then the day after she is horrible, like she was too good the day before so she has to make up for it.
  • Jun 22, 2007, 02:35 AM
    misskobe
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by luckyashley7
    My daughter hit the terrible 2's when she was 18 months old and now she is 3 1/2 and still not letting up. We have went to the local Health Department for help but nothing seems to work. She acts horrible when my husband is gone to work which is 6 days a week, but she always wants mommy and to go with me when i go somewhere, I have tried time out, swats, taking toys and things she likes away from her. It is hard to take things away from her though because i have a daughter that is almost 2 and i don't want to punish her and take away her toys.(they share a room) today she had me in tears, i am a stay at home mom but going back into the work force for about a year then intending on home schooling my children after that. any help, ideas, or suggestions would be appreciated.:(
    As you know , if your 3 year old is running your house you are going to be in the looney bin by the time she is in high school. You must give her time out . 3 year olds don't need a long time out . Even 2 minutes is a long time for a child that young.
    Even if it means that your other child cannot play with those toys at that time , just explain to your child that her sister is being punished . What I would do instead is give your child time out in a hallway or away from the toys. It has to be time out somewhere where it will be boring for her . Have a timer handy and set it to a minute . Tell your 3 year old she is not allowed to leave time out till that bell rings. If she doesn't listen you keep repeating time out till she does and she will eventually. If she is sitting there next to the timer and screaming and throwing things you have to ignore her completely . But if she tries to stand up and leave time out you have to go over to her , sit her down look her in the eye and tell her that the bell did not ring and therefore she gets another minute. At first she will totally be difficult and it may take more then a few times but once she understands that you mean it.. her behavior will improve. When my son was young (6) he is 16 now , I was having trouble with him and I talked to a therapist and she told me to do that time out and his behavior improved greatly .also if you notice that she is behaving nicely or doing something you like , like being nice to her sibling or watching TV nicely then get a paper and make a chart . Every time she does something that you like put a star up on the chart ( sticker) tell her and show her , say.. mommy really likes how you are behaving so you get a star ! :)... try to be really positive about it. I think overall little children want approval from their parents . Don't let her see you upset . If she is screaming about a cookie just ignore her completely meaning don't even look at her . And when she is behaving give her tons of attention so you are rewarding her for good behavior not bad. Looking at her when she is having a tantrum is rewarding her believe it or not. Anyway hope this helps. Too bad it doesn't work for teenagers lol.
  • Jul 26, 2007, 07:01 PM
    proudmommyoftwingirls
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by luckyashley7
    My daughter hit the terrible 2's when she was 18 months old and now she is 3 1/2 and still not letting up. We have went to the local Health Department for help but nothing seems to work. She acts horrible when my husband is gone to work which is 6 days a week, but she always wants mommy and to go with me when i go somewhere, I have tried time out, swats, taking toys and things she likes away from her. It is hard to take things away from her though because i have a daughter that is almost 2 and i don't want to punish her and take away her toys.(they share a room) today she had me in tears, i am a stay at home mom but going back into the work force for about a year then intending on home schooling my children after that. any help, ideas, or suggestions would be appreciated.:(
    Try giving her a chart to reward her good behavior and give her tons of positive reinforcement when you see her being good let her know how happy that makes you the chart should help a lot if you Google free behavior sticker charts or you can buy them at a school supply store GOOD LUCK

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