We received a graduation announcement for our nephew. No other information was given about a party or dinner out, nothing. We come to find out that our inlaws are very upset with us because we did not call them to find out what the plan was for after the graduation and because we were not informed, we did not show up to the restaurant where the rest of the immediate family met to celebrate the graduate. Are we at fault here for not calling them to get the details on the "after celebration"? Or should the parents or the graduate himself be responsible for contacting those he wanted at his celebration?

Maybe I should also add that we told our brother-in-law on Mother's Day that he just needed to let us know what the plans were and we'd be happy to attend, that we would not make the graduation itself due to another graduation party family invite (other side of the family). Then, 1 day before the graduation, I spoke with another family member and she said that everyone might be going to Olive Garden and that we would get a call as to where to meet. We ended up calling oursevles after leaving the 1st graduation party in order to make this celebration, and find out that the dinner was at a Longhorns and everyone had been there for over an hour. No seats were saved for us. We got the distinct impression that a concerted attempt was made to not include us, yet here we are being made out to be the bad guys. I don't get it.

You are at no fault , unless you are a fortune teller by profession.

They should have called and invited you and gave you the details, they need to tell you they are sorry.

You were not invited.
So how could you now.
End of story.

You aren't psychic, and it is not the guests responsibility to call and find out what they may or may not be invited to, or when and where to show up. I am not sure of their motivations, but it is a rude thing to do to you and certainly making you out to have done something wrong is ridiculous.

I would not say that you are at fault, but myself coming from a very close family, when we don't know what's going on, we ask. I think you should have asked maybe "Hey, what's the family doing after graduation?" but you shouldn't be blamed for not going if you weren't informed.

You are not the "bad guys" in this. You are not responsible for someone else's huge error here. How in the world were you supposed to know? I would say to forget about this, ignore any nasty comments and go on with your life.