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-   -   How close should we be? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=98144)

  • Jun 3, 2007, 11:25 AM
    perfectlyhappy
    How close should we be?
    Me and my boyfrined have been dating for over a year and 4 months, however, two months ago we got into an argument and he ended up breaking up with me. It was hard on me and even though I probably shouldn't have I called him everyday and we even would go out to lunch together. About a month later he decides he wants to try it again so I accepted. Most of me feels like the only reason he wants to be with me is because I act so desperate and needy. He assures me that he cares about me but I just can't be sure. We fight most of the time because I get upset about him never wanting to spend time with me. He's always hanging out with his friends even when he knows that I need to see him if its only for a few minutes. It just seems that he never makes an effort. When we do see each other its always last minute and lately he seems to always have other plans. I just care about him so much I just keep thinking that should want to spend time with me and make an effort. Maybe we should just be friends even though that's not what I want but I want to do what's best for both of us. I admit I do fuss quite abit at him when he cancels plans or has a non-ending set of plans with his friends. I want him to spend time with his friends I'm just hurt that he never even wants to include me. I just feel that for a relationship that has lasted this long we should be closer than what I feel like we are
  • Jun 3, 2007, 02:51 PM
    chuff
    Well you gave your own answer in your post. You act needy and clingy. He doesn't want to be around that and he wants the old you that was not like that. He doesn't want to be bothered when he's with his friends. If you continue to act like this he's only going to get farther away until he's gone.

    The good news is he must really like you if he came back and is putting up with this. But if you continue it, he's leaving for good eventually. From his end, he's waiting for the "old you" to return where you weren't a downer on his life but an upper. Not until you get back to that point will he start wanting to spend more time with you.
  • Jun 3, 2007, 03:20 PM
    talaniman
    Slow down, and think about all this drama your causing, just to have your own way. I hope you work on your insecurity as you come off as too needy, to say the least. I suggest you get a life without your b/f and do things you enjoy without him. You need friends and activities that make you happy. Your b/f will love you for it.

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