Hi

Already I feel like I have friends by just being on here.

Here I am a hard working woman of 41 with 2 kids 22&21 2nd marriage,my first husband had an affair after 16yrs was on my own for awhile and met husband no2.

I should have known at the start something wasn't right when on my wedding day he told a friend who wanted a photo he had had enough of photo takings.

I am in a state I had everything this man had no credit cards so the kind person I am once married I allowed him cards on my accounts thousands of pounds later I am now in an iva.

When he has money he is very genorous and wants people to believe he is loaded to the extent he carries out of date diners cards etc so when he opens his wallet it looks good in business.

He is very insecure to the extent when I go to the shops the 1st thing I'm asked is who stared at you today then.

I now only have 2 friends 1 being the computer how sad is this I had loads and feel like I'm in a shell.

My husband spends hrs playing computer games and drinking quite easily 9hrs a night
I am always going to bed on my own and eat on my own.We do nothing at wkends as he would have been up all night so sleeps all day.

I don't drink well a glass of wine that's it so I'm a f... lightweight.Thats nothing I'm told to go and paly with the cars on the motorway I'm a worthless c... too much to say and to painfull to type it all,last night we had to go to a memorial and as I didn't have anymore money so he would buy drinks it was a nightmare he said the person of the service we went to had a huge heart that's why so many attended,when its my turn it will only be me there in my coffin as I'm a cold b...

I was a confident outgoing lady never ever short of attention,now I walk head down don't want anyone to see me in case they say look how she's changed,I'm lying so much about silly things to see if I can keep him happy.

Please don't suggest therapy there is no way as he says its me who's mental.Thankfully I know I'm not.

When he's nice he's nice .I just want to be loved and respected when we do have sex my head is a rollercoatser of all the abuse and I just think how can you be nice now when I know after he may well revert.

Im just on egg shells :(

This guy's a psycho. Get away from him ASAP. I know it hurts to admit you made a big mistake marrying him, but you've done that, so now you need to follow through on getting disentangled from him. He's poison to you.

You need therapy. Therapy will help you deal with this. It will give you an outlit and also many other support that could and can be offered. It will help give you enough confidence to make certain decisions that are best.

So yes, therapy is needed. Denial of that will only lead to more problems for you.

Best of luck

Joe

Therapy is for you to get the confidence back to stand up to this bully. You try to please him and make him happy, and your enabling him to push you into the background. You should be pissed. Take back your life that you enjoyed before him, and let his drunk azz sleep through the weekend, while you doll yourself up and have a good time with those that love you. You are not his shadow, and don't need his permission for anything!! Learn to tell the B@st@rt to, shut the fock up, and leave you the hell alone, with his BS. Not only will you feel better, but the look on his face will be priceless. Don't let him dump on you.

I am having almost the same situation. However, we have no kids and he is only verbally abusive when we fight. There is not a lot of name calling, but a lot of "I was fine before you" and "I guess I set my expectations too high". But the computer and the all nights and sleepy days are exactly the same. What are you doing about it? I've only been married for 9 months and I am already looking for an out.

I am going throgh almost the same the thing as is a lot of woman are my husband is very very verbally abusive and has been for about 7 years now we have been together about 8 and we have so many thing that has happened and it is just too much to fix I am trying to start over and be happy we have 2 children and it is very hard but they are still young so hopefully it will not effect them as much but I think you should be strong and leave and try to be happy with your slef and stay focused on finding the true love of your life he is still out there