Ask Me Help Desk - Forbidden Love- Age difference

Ok I'm right now 12 years old. So it was 2005 when my sister Hannah who is almost 15 got a friend named Danielle who is now 15. I had a crush on her sense then but it faded as my life kept going because I felt like I had no chance with her. My sister for some reason in about 2006 in the summer asked me if I liked her (we were all at the beach, even Danielle). I rolled my eyes because I really didn't want to be teased so I convinced her I didn't like her without saying it. So now it is 2007 summer and we went to the beach and Danielle came again. I really got back into her again more then ever before. But still felt no chance. I finally told my sister I really liked her I thought I loved her, but my sister thinks I must really really really like her. Me and Danielle started to kind of talk (just random stuff) not like before when she was just my sisters friend and we just never really talked. She gave me piece of paper which had a "what's up" on the first line. We basically passed a piece of paper around. She said

"what are you doing"

I gave a few things

"Talking to you, sitting, thinking about something."

She wrote "What are you thinking about?"

I wrote "A girl" (her)

We went on until she was like "give me a hint!!!!."

After about 20 minutes of questions and hints I said it started with a "D" she said that the "D" made her think about her.

I wrote "lol (laugh out loud) I know hehe"

She was like "awwwww that is so sweet"
Because she asked me about a lot of feelings I had for her and so after all of that she finds out all these compliments are hers.

She started to tell me about how she really liked me last year and still likes me this year. Then I remembered she had a boyfriend and my mom asked me if I liked her (because she noticed I was hanging around her more) . I told her yes and she said she is too old for me and the fact she has a boyfriend.

I took it real hard and stood on the porch outside nearly crying. My sister and Danielle both came out to confront me and find out what was wrong.

We did the same thing and passed a notes back and forth she wrote in identical words:

I love you!!
Ok. Yes u can like me. Because I like u back. I promise if you were a year or two older I would date you. (I would now but your mom would have a cow... ) you are a great guy and any girl would be lucky to have you. I wish I could. You were right when you said your not like other guys, you are the sweetest guy I have ever met. I have honestly liked you since last year when we came to the beach. Be happy. Good things come to those who are happy. ;)

I started writing back and I heard my sister mumble to her then suddenly she leaves the room Danielle moved closer to me and asked me to come closer I thought she was going to whisper something in my ear. Suddenly she kissed me on the lips. MY FIRST KISS EVER!! Now think of it a 15 year old kissing a 12 year old.

So I became real confused because she kisses me and has a boyfriend. But she was trying to to show me that age has no meaning and that I still may have a small chance in the future.

I wrote to her later:

You must promise me something very important. Even though you have a boyfriend please NEVER regret the first kiss (also second) you gave me... Ever. It wasn't at all wrong. You were helping me out and showed me age has no meaning. I also want to thank you because you've helped me soooo much and I'm always so happy because of you.

So now we are just really good friends. Would it be wrong to be 12 and have a 15 year old girlfriend?? Do I really have a chance??

Thanks for listening to my Super long story.

Personally I don't think it's a big deal being 12 or 15 or 13 or 16. It's a harmless relationship.

I'm in sixth grade and she is in her second year of high school. Plus my mom forbids it. She doesn't want me hanging around them because she feels they may influence bad thoughts/ideas onto me. It won't happen. I'm keeping even this friendship thing a secret. It means the entire world to me to have at least a friendship with her. But it is going to take the world to convince my stepdad and mom to aprove and possibly more :(. UGH!!

HELP ME!!

-Kriscool

Show them responsibility

I try to show them but nothing is satisfaction to my stepdad. :(

And it would take a lot more then being responsible to get to them. UGH!! :(

Have you ever sat both of them and told them how you're feeling?

NOPE!!

My Stepdad wouldn't let me get everything I would have to say out of my mouth before he said "no!" or "didn't your mother already tell you something, so this conflict has been resolved."

Then once he's said "no" it over you cannot change his mined. Nothing. I've tried getting other adults to influence him and it almost works but never entirly.

I feel they don't care for my feelings. So I talk to my sister and other friends instead. :(

I don't see how your parent's can tell you who to be friends with. It's your choice and well, frankly you need to be able to make bad choices and good ones too. Write a letter to your parnet's telling them that you know right from wrong because they taught you it. Tell them that your glad they care, but also tell them that havig a friendship with this person is important. Even if it ends badly. Every sitiuation can either end good or bad. As your parent's it's their job to take care of you and help protect you, but facing the world and its good and evil is in your hands. You should be able to choose what's good for you in some ways. If your parent's have any respect for you at all, they will understand that you need friends, you need to make choices and allow you to do so. They can't protect you from the world. They can't hide you away forever. They really need to realize this. If they weren't prepaired for your growing up, they should have though of that before deticating their lives to having a child. Honestly.

Am I the only one with a problem with this. If it was an older boy and a girl his age, I know some of you would say that it is inappropriate. The girl must have some maturity issues!

A 15 yr old girl messing with a 12 yr old boy. Is she immature or just messing with you, playing some silly teen game with you? Thinking that the whole thing is really funny, that you like her so much. Like an adoring fan. Soooo sweeeet. Ick.

When she is 18 you will be 15. She will be off to college or some other adventure and you will be home. When she is 20, you will still be a teen. Come on. Be serious. I can understand the first crush. But you appear to be infatuated and that is not healthy.

A friend? Fine. Keep it at friendship. But don't let yourself become some experiment for her to work her feminine charms on you. You are going to get hurt.

You seem to be a very articulate young man. And your mom and stepdad may seem to be too controlling. But I think they may be looking out for your best interest.
The difference in age isn't so much of an issue as to what we begin to experience as we move through our teens. There will be opportunities for Danielle, and opportunities for you, to meet and mingle with a lot of people. You have a crush on her and that's fantastic! But what else do you two share? What interests do you two have in common? Find what interests you and see if you can share that with her. You must find yourself first.

Quote:

You seem to be a very articulate young man.

I concur! It's always great to hear of such a literate young person. :)

I really have no advice but wanted to wish you good luck!

So she's immature because she has feelings for someone yougher. Its only 3 years, right. She'll be 23 ill be 20 that's nothing. It was just a kiss, its not like we a having sex or anything.
'
Why must you think I'm some experiment, that she is a fake?? That she is going to turn around and hurt me, just because she is 3 years older. So your saying that because age difference she will hurt me, What if she really feels something. What if all of this is real.

-Kriscool

Quote:

Originally Posted by shygrneyzs

A 15 yr old girl messing with a 12 yr old boy. Is she immature or just messing with you, playing some silly teen game with you? Thinking that the whole thing is really funny, that you like her so much. Like an adoring fan. Soooo sweeeet. Ick.

When she is 18 you will be 15. She will be off to college or some other adventure and you will be home. When she is 20, you will still be a teen. Come on. Be serious. I can understand the first crush. But you appear to be infatuated and that is not healthy.

A friend? fine. Keep it at friendship. But don't let yourself become some experiment for her to work her feminine charms on you. You are going to get hurt.

Because I like her and she likes me back its immature... explan yourself...

Quote:

Originally Posted by danielnoahsmommy

am I the only one with a problem with this. If it was an older boy and a girl his age, I know some of you would say that it is inappropriate. the girl must have some maturity issues!

When you are 20 and she is 23 you stand to be in similar places in life. Right now, three years is a huge difference as far as maturity, interests, etc go.

Friendships are one thing, romantic relationships are another.

The same thought shygrneyzs had was also what entered my mind. Teenage girls can be the most evil and thoughtless people on the planet... not to say this girl is like that, but it wouldn't be unheard of.

If it is really a love that is meant to be, it will be there in a few years when you both are in similar places in life. Like the same school.

I don't think it's a huge deal right now... hell, in a few years you'll have moved on to someone else.

(Yes, I realize right now you're completely infatuated with this girl, she makes your life complete and you're probably planning the wedding in your head right now--but this won't last. Hate my comment all you want, but it's the truth--have you ever heard of anyone marrying their 6th-grade sweetheart?)

If anything, this is just good practice for when you're mature enough to take on a real relationship (and the mind games that come with them).

There are going to be ups and downs and you'll feel great joy followed by intense pain. It's a part of life and you'll come out stronger and wiser in the end for it. For now, just enjoy the ride.

The only thing I worry about is if you were to fall deeply for this girl, vice versa and you were both to develop a sexual relationship this girl could get into a lot of trouble.
You're best waiting until you're legal to initiate anything sexual. It can be very hard to have a relationship with someone and where you proclaim your love for them and not being able to express yourselves physically.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kriscool

Ok I'm right now 12 years old. So it was 2005 when my sister Hannah who is almost 15 got a friend named Danielle who is now 15. I had a crush on her sense then but it faded as my life kept going because I felt like I had no chance with her. My sister for some reason in about 2006 in the summer asked me if I liked her (we were all at the beach, even Danielle). I rolled my eyes because I really didn't want to be teased so I convinced her I didn't like her without saying it. So now it is 2007 summer and we went to the beach and Danielle came again. I really got back into her again more then ever before. But still felt no chance. I finally told my sister I really liked her I thought I loved her, but my sister thinks I must really really really like her. Me and Danielle started to kinda talk (just random stuff) not like before when she was just my sisters friend and we just never really talked. She gave me piece of paper which had a "what's up" on the first line. We basically passed a piece of paper around. She said

"what are you doing"

I gave a few things

"Talking to you, sitting, thinking about something."

She wrote "What are you thinking about?"

I wrote "A girl" (her)

We went on until she was like "give me a hint!!!!."

After about 20 minutes of questions and hints I said it started with a "D" she said that the "D" made her think about her.

I wrote "lol (laugh out loud) I know hehe"

She was like "awwwww that is so sweet"
Because she asked me about a lot of feelings I had for her and so after all of that she finds out all these compliments are hers.

She started to tell me about how she really liked me last year and still likes me this year. Then I remembered she had a boyfriend and my mom asked me if I liked her (because she noticed I was hanging around her more) . I told her yes and she said she is too old for me and the fact she has a boyfriend.

I took it real hard and stood on the porch outside nearly crying. My sister and Danielle both came out to confront me and find out what was wrong.

We did the same thing and passed a notes back and forth she wrote in identical words:

I love you!!!!!!
Ok. Yes u can like me. Because I like u back. I promise if you were a year or two older I would date you. (i would now but your mom would have a cow...) you are a great guy and any girl would be lucky to have you. I wish I could. You were right when you said your not like other guys, you are the sweetest guy I have ever met. I have honestly liked you since last year when we came to the beach. Be happy. Good things come to those who are happy. ;)

I started writing back and I heard my sister mumble to her then suddenly she leaves the room Danielle moved closer to me and asked me to come closer I thought she was going to whisper something in my ear. Suddenly she kissed me on the lips. MY FIRST KISS EVER!!!!!!! Now think of it a 15 year old kissing a 12 year old.

So I became real confused because she kisses me and has a boyfriend. But she was trying to to show me that age has no meaning and that I still may have a small chance in the future.

I wrote to her later:

You must promise me something very important. Even though you have a boyfriend please NEVER regret the first kiss (also second) you gave me......Ever. It wasn't at all wrong. You were helping me out and showed me age has no meaning. I also want to thank you because you've helped me soooo much and I'm always so happy because of you.

So now we are just really good friends. Would it be wrong to be 12 and have a 15 year old girlfriend??? Do I really have a chance???

Thanks for listening to my Super long story.

Hey I've been there and done that good luck but remember there's still a chance if she likes you but still age makes a little bit of a diffeence only because of how society thinks it should be. Personally I think it's cute. But maybe hold off on dating for now. You seen really nice you'll find someone when it's time. If it's meant to be it will be!! I promise my boyfriend and I had a hard time at the beginning but now it's been over a year and we're very happy only because we let destiny take it's course leading us back to each other. Good luck!

Beacause of the ages in this situation... I have a saying for you: It's all mind over matter... If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Good Luck:)