Hi all, I'm suffering with a huge dilema. My girlfriend and I split up nearly two months ago and we did so on fairly good terms. She was suffering with post-traumatic depression and felt she was bringing me down through her mood swings and not good for me. She since started a course of prozac and has made it massively clear that although she can't be in a relationship she desperately wants us to remain friends. At first the relationship moved on well, but except for the sex thing everything was essentially the same - she still stays round mine, we get drunk, talk to the late into the night and hang out in the day. She thinks I am her soulmate. I deeply love her and regret ever splitting up and do not want to do anything that may stop us ever getting back together. BUT NOW she wants to move in with me, only temporarily, for a couple of months why she gets her together. Thinking I was being supportive, I said of course, but now I realise that it's a stupid idea as she's going to end up breaking my heart all over again. What do I do put my own feelings aside or tell her the truth and risk losing my best friend as well as my girlfriend? HEELLLLP PLEAASSE

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Originally Posted by white shoes2

Thinking i was being supportive, i said of course, but now i realise that it's a stupid idea as she's going to end up breaking my heart all over again. HEELLLLP PLEAASSE

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You answered your own question my dear.

Don't comprise what you feel is right for you. She must be able to take care of herself. Sounds like she wants all the benefits just not the commitment. Prozac + drinking = trouble :) peace

As much as we would like to help, and keep the people we care about close to us, and involved in our lives, we can't always have it that way. Especially with partners that have problems, or are to close, and actually cause us confusion and pain. Neither of you can have it both ways, as since she wants no relationship, and you do, space between you is needed, so you both can live your own lives. Hard as it is you must back off from your friend, so you both can handle your own issues, and get out of each others way.

The heart is easier written and read, than done.

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Originally Posted by white shoes2

The heart is easier written and read, than done.

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I completley agree. If you know things won't work out, you must tell her. Just sit her down and talk to her. Don't make things too over-whelming though, as she is going through a depression.

You can still love her with your heart, but allow the brain to do it's job. You know what you need to do. You would have never posted asking if you should let her come back as a roomie with benefits. You just wanted people to confirm what your head already knows. :)peace

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Originally Posted by Rockabilly1955mama

I completley agree. If you know things wont work out, you must tell her. Just sit her down and talk to her. Don't make things too over-whelming though, as she is going through a depression.

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Yes. He needs to have a heart to heart with her.

Whiteshoes, it might be best if you invite her out to a nice restaurant and talk to her about this in a public area if you are afraid that she might overreact. Be yourself. Be kind. Be gentle. Go easy. Tell her that it is just too soon. Ask her how she will feel if this all falls apart again in the same way. Tell her that if she moves in now, it just might end your relationship entirely, that she is your best friend and that you don't want to take the chance that you might lose each other. Explain to her that this isn't a forever deal. That, later on down the road, it is always a possibility that you two may get back together, but for now, it just isn't the wisest thing to do.

I lived with my ex for nine months after we split up, there were rules, he slept on the couch, we gave each other space etc so yes it can work, but you have to work at it, it was either that or throw him out into the street and I couldn't do that.

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Originally Posted by white shoes2

The heart is easier written and read, than done.

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If it was easy anyone could do it no problem, but the things in life that are worth having, are the things you will work hard to have. Just because it ain't easy doesn't mean you don't have to do it. You want to be happy, get to work.

Every time we have a heart to heart it becomes more intense, I've tried and it just ends up with us being closer and letting the each other in deeper. I think I'll just bite my tongue, let time pass, she'll move out and pray that we move on naturally. The bigger an issue I make it the bigger it becomes. Thank you all.(I'll be careful):)

Well, white shoes, good luck with that one. I hope you don't get hurt again.

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Originally Posted by white shoes2

everytime we have a heart to heart it becomes more intense, i've tried and it just ends up with us being closer and letting the each other in deeper. i think i'll just bite my tongue, let time pass, she'll move out and pray that we move on naturally. The bigger an issue i make it the bigger it becomes. Thankyou all.(I'll be careful):)

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The best of luck to both of you.

Don't do it Bro.She's just using you.You can do better.There's a woman out there that will love you for you and not for what you can do for her.Tell her to go to a shelter.