Been dating this girl for a little over 2 months now. I am 23, she is 25. We both have some baggage from long-term relationships which ended over a year ago. She had a boyfriend for 3 years, and I had a girlfriend for 6 years.

My issue is that I'm afraid of relationships now I think. I'm afraid to open up and make myself vulnerable. I don't feel like building something just to watch it fall.

Her issue is that she's not completely over her ex. She is torn between taking a chance with me versus going back to the constant emotional turmoil of her ex. She doesn't talk to her ex, but his affect is still very strong on her. News about his actions can alter her emotions.

She also hesitates to try things with me because I refuse to open up. It's a dead end cycle.

We both like each other a lot and both agree that there's potential.

Last night, I told her that I couldn't do this anymore and that I need time to think and she needs time to sort out what she wants. I told her to call me one day when she's ready. She cried, begged me not to leave and so I stayed with her. Now we're back to square one...

Just take it slow and see where it goes... Don't bring up the relationship too much... It will just bring stress to the both. Try forgetting the past and just have fun with her. Help her forget as well. As the two of you create memories it will help. But don't get into anything too deep which is why you should just have fun for now and not get too serious... Maybe later on. Don't tell her this. This is what YOU are doing. You live and when she wants to hang out, you can but be a fun person. Maybe one day it will happen, but right now you want to make her happy and yourself.

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Originally Posted by emopunk7

Just take it slow and see where it goes...Don't bring up the relationship too much...It will just bring stress to the both. Try forgetting the past and just have fun with her. Help her forget as well. As the two of you create memories it will help. But don't get into anything too deep which is why you should just have fun for now and not get too serious...Maybe later on. Don't tell her this. This is what YOU are doing. You live and when she wants to hang out, you can but be a fun person. Maybe one day it will happen, but right now you want to make her happy and yourself.

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Thanks for the words. Pretty much what I was thinking myself... just needed to hear/read it from someone else.

It sucks trying to start anew after a LTR.