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-   -   I can't bear the pain and feel such despair (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=97575)

  • Jun 1, 2007, 04:49 AM
    tammywatkins
    I cant bear the pain and feel such despair
    I have written about a related topic - don't get along with boyfriend friends' the update is that I confronted him about lying to meet his friends when I all I want is honeslty and it ended up in us ending the relationship... because he couldn't bring his friends world and mine together he felt he had to choose and chose them despite the fact his best friend back stabbed him.

    I am utterly devastated, I really believed we would marry and settle down as that's how he always talked to me. He was a great boyfriend, this aside, a real catch, constantly loved me and cared for me and I feel so deluded and shocked that this came so out of the blue for his friends.

    The fact we lived together has shattered me, I feel ashamed and used and dread to face people from home who are ultra conservative and judgmental. I turned 26 two weeks ago and I now feel I have lost my chance to find the right guy and have such fear of being alone in the futre with everyone looking down on me smug to be in a couple. My ex is now moving back home and that's what I want to do too as I only stayed abroad because of him and don't have the courage to live a lonely city life trying to get by but I feel I would look so stupid and as if I have messed up so much.

    I have been given an exceptional work opportunity here however I don't have the strength and courage to stay abroad alone despite the fact it's a unique opportunity. I feel so rejected especially since he is going home and picking up with all his friends right where he left off whilst on the other hand I feel such an outsider as most of my friends are in steady relationships and feel they now look down on me that I can't hold a successful relationship

    I haven't been able to sleep or eat for a week, I am so utterly heartbroken and don't know how to cope. He made me believe so much that we were forever, I loved him wholeheartedly and I went to great lengths to be with him and now he has done a complete U turn and feel I am being abandoned, left to cope with the conequences by myself. I am going home next week for 5 days to see my family and also create space between me and my ex since we are still under one roof and do not know what to do with my life... I feel such physical pain and heartache like never before and feel so rejected and humiliated too.

    I feel I can't cope and have phsically and mentally broken down beyond repair

    Please help me
  • Jun 1, 2007, 06:17 AM
    SereneAegis
    I'm sure he wasn't perfect and for now you need to remember all the things you hated about him as well.

    Do you want to be lied to for the rest of your life? Do you want to be his pet and let him pick friends first?

    I'm not trying to be harsh, but he chose his friends over you when all you wanted was something as basic as honesty in a relationship.

    In my opinion that makes him less than Mr. Perfect and less than serious about you and you deserve better.

    If you do end up alone, would that be so bad? Surely alone would be better than being lied to and hurt on a daily basis.

    :( Think of yourself first!

    He lied to you and made you believe it was forever and then abandoned you. Look at him for the person he really is. Take care of yourself first.

    You don't need destructive liars in your life.

    Any guy who chooses friends over you is a waste of time for your stage in life and not serious about a future with you.

    However, a girl should never *make* the guy choose, but from what you've said you didn't, you asked for basic human consideration and didn't even get that.

    You're not the one who botched and you're not the one who will be sorry.

    He is. Especially when you pick yourself up and show him you're better off without him.

    =) I know you can do it. It's never too late to recover from something that has knocked you down.

    More thinking about you and less thinking about him!

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