My husband & I have been Married now for 7 months. We have been together for 3 years and 7 months. He is very hard on people in general. He expects them to be a certain way. Well my family is less than perfect! Who's isent? My Mom has a lot of medical problems, which most of them I believe are just in her head. She is on more narcotics than Keith Richards. We used to be best friends but she has just gone the way of the wacko train. So we don't get along all that well. She is mean to me some times and twists things around. My whole life she has always taken things over. My Dad is a liar and cheat. He's a contractor enough said there. But we are really close! I had never been close with him until the last few years. My Oldest sister is a pot head who is married to a worthless pot! With 2 kids. On welfare! That one is explanitory there. My Middle sister molested me as a child(screwed up I know, my Mom doesn't believe me.) She was a big druggie! She could wear my clothes when she was 17 and I was 9 she was that much of a tweeker! She ran away at 17 1/2. She doesn't have much to do with our family unless she needs something or to make my life misrable! So as you can see my family is less than perfect. But they are my family none the less. Well my husband rips on them way too much! It's fine to say a thing or two but to carry on and just be really mean makes me feel bad! I have talked ot him about this a lot and it has gotten better but he still does it. If I were to say even a 1/4 of what he says about my family about his he would be pissed at me! His family isent perfect ither! They have there issues but he holds them on this pedistool! And he keeps pushing my family off theirs. Any advise as to how to address this situation!

Call a truce? Your husband must have been this way before you married and so he is not likely to ever change. Your family does not sound llike they are likely to ever change. Can you reasonably establish a no contact rule with your family? What good does being in contact with them do for you? It honestly sounds like you are better off leaving them to their own miseries. Make an agreement with your husband that if you establish this sort of border with your family, that he stops his negative rants about them and that he keeps from throwing his family up as Ward and June Cleaver.

If he cannot compromise and gain some peace in your house, you need to make some quick decisions on if you want the rest of your life to be like this. Good luck.

Well, you did know how he was for 3 years before you were married. And it does depend on your priorities, which can also change over time. I have been with a wonderful man for 3 years, and he does not like my mother--gave him a migraine the first visit/Thanksgiving, and he hasn't been back yet. He is very good to me in every way possible, but he is also an arrogant intellectual, and 10 years my senior, no longer wastes time with people he does not want to be around. It bothered me for a year or so until I faced the fact that my life is now with him, not my immediate family. And there is nothing wrong with not wanting to spend your quality time with someone you don't like. My mother had 18 years to get it right with me, and still hasn't. When she sounds a little down on the phone, I remind her that during the pioneering era, children left there homes and didn't come back to visit for years, even as long as 20 years. It is MY belief that you and your husband are entitled to spend what time you have however you wish without being afraid of hurting someone else's feelings. My mom and I got through it and out the other end--to date--for lack of better words. But my priority is with my husband, and I work around the rest of the family outside of that. My relationship with my mom has caused me more trouble than good over my lifetime, and it took me until I turned 40 to realize that I no longer have to feel that false guilt crap or cater to her any longer just because she's my mother. I've gotten a good dose of reality being with my husband who has helped pull me out of the American Fog of instant gratification and dissillusion. There are many false beliefs imbedded in your belief system as a young child, and if you're smart enough to figure out reality by yourself, or lucky enough to have someone slap you out of it, then you will be much happier. (ok, enough guru ramblin'). You and your husband get the best from each other, and have patience with the rest. Just be kind to others, try your best, and you should have no reason to feel bad about anything.

Thank you for your answers! I don't know! I just can't cut off my family that won't work. For as much as my family is crazy I love them! I have gotten better about intetrupting my life for them. Oh I did know that he was the way he was and I love him anyway! It's just hard to deal with it all the time! "candream" Thanks that makes a lot of sense! Well thanks you all!