Here is my situation. I had been in love with my best friend for quite a while. We told each other everything and always hung out together, so much that most people that knew us assumed we were dating. She used to just like me as a friend so I never pursued a romantic relationship. I would give her hints every once in a while telling her I was interested in something more, but they never were returned.

Then one week we started flirting and during one of our weekly movie nights involving just the two of us we held hands for the first time. A few days later we kissed for the first time and then the making out began. We made out every night, for about a week, for a few hours each night. Then she cut me off and we had a talk and decided that we could no longer do anything more than "friend" things. Her reasoning was that she did not want to lose me as a friend since I was too good of a friend. All of her ex's had been great friends and now she no longer talks to them. She does not want to lose me like she lost them.

So we went a week or two being just frineds but it was a little awkward because we both wanted to do things with each other that friends don't do. Then there was a relapse a few weeks later and we were back to holding hands and making out.

We decided once again that we needed to stop because she was afraid it would ruin our friendship. So we tried once again unsuccessfully to end the making out and holding hands and just overall overfriendliness. Things escalated on the morning of the last day of college. We did almost everything sexual with each other but have sex.

Then a third time we decided that we could only be friends even though she and I both enjoyed what we were doing and that our last morning of school together had been the most enjoyable experience either of us had had with the opposite sex. She also told me that her feelings for me fluctuated back and forth between: thinking we should just be friends, loving me (which she said is rare because she almost never feels that way about anything), and wanting to slam me up against a wall and have her way with me. We also both agreed that neither of us could see ourselves with anyone else but each other and that neither of us wanted to see the other person with someone else. We decided once again that we were going to try to get over each other and just be best friends again.

Well, since school was now out for the summer we weren't living right next door, however we were still able to visit each other. We got together a few times and each time there was kissing, holding hands, oral sex and other activities that friends don't usually do with other friends. We both decided that we want to have sex with each other and that we are deeply lusting for each other. There has been no more talk about trying to just be friends and now I am not sure where we are at in our relationship, whether it be "just friends" or something else.

I want her as my girlfriend and we have had many discussions about relationships. She does not believe in titles like boyfriend/girlfriend, she believes that things should just happen and the titles will follow. She also said that had we continued on like we were after a while she would have considered me her boyfriend. Everyone we know thinks that we are dating however we both inform people that we are just friends. Even our parents think we are dating and don't believe us when we tell them that we aren't. I am not convinced myself that we aren't boyfriend/girlfriend since we do everything that boyfriend/girlfriend relationships consist of. We have the physical, mental, and emotional connection and neither of us can see ourselves with someone else and neither of us wants the other person to be with someone else.

We also send each other 20 or so text messages a day and refer to each other as love, doll, cutie, sweetie, and other such terms.

I am just confused by our whole relationship. I think we are finally done with talking about just being friends and are just accepting our relationship for what it is. So what are we exactly?? Are we boyfriend/girlfriend even though we both claim not to be? I don't think we are necessarily friends with benefits since we are best friends and have that whole relationship. Are we just two friends that lust for each other and fool around? I am just so confused.

I would say yes your boyfriend and girlfriend and much more at this point. It was not you both deciding that things could not go further but it was her. Now what I did in my own situation is tell her that nothing could happen to ruin our friendship and that is it not worth taken the risk to experience amazing better things. Also would like to say that personally I think that relationships that are started from being best friends usually last longer. Might not for some but I would say majority.

First my Best friend,

Now my wife,

Now we have a child together.

She used to say the same thing about not wanting to ruin the friendship or what would happen if anything went wrong. Lets just say there are no guarantees with anything. It is worth the risk.

I would also say, do not push. Do not rush just enjoy what your experiancing right now and see where it goes. Best of luck and believe me it can be very confusing. Most women are, no offence to the ladies out there.

I think both of you know deep inside what you want of each other, just a matter of time that you accept it openly to each other. Take each day as it comes... don't dig too much into it... by the looks of it, you're straining yourself with too many thoughts about this relationship, rather concentrate on the flow of things. The more you think into it, more are the chances of ruining it... so enjoy whatever it is. And yes, relationships started on sex.. end up faster than starting as friends... so b thoughtful about it...