Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   What is he thinking? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=97064)

  • May 30, 2007, 12:07 PM
    deedee06
    What is he thinking?
    I have this guy friend who I have known for five years... we are best friends, share everything with each other (no secrets), enjoy each others company more than anything else... but we only really do stuff alone together... whenever I invite him out with my friends he says that he is too shy and that it will be awkward... all the while I'm saying "hey, im shy too, and you will love these people, they are nice and will accept you instantly"... still doesn't want to go... is he really just shy or do you think that there is another thing going on here?
  • May 30, 2007, 12:16 PM
    emopunk7
    Lol... you've known him for 5 years... You should know. But as close as an opinion from someone who doesn't know him and has never had a friend like that, I'd say that he is embarrassed of you or that he really is shy... Any other answer, I think you should ask him... If he goes out in public with you then I don't see what the big deal is. This just sounds weird. Maybe you are cool or maybe he feels other people there like you or maybe he wants to think that he is your only friend. I have no idea... Just trying to help with a few ideas.
  • May 30, 2007, 12:42 PM
    UnwantedHero
    How long has the not seeing you in public thing been going on for?If only a short time then there's a possibility that he mite like you more then a friend.I was in a similar situation once:This chick I was very close friends with never wanted to hang out in public either with me,at first I thought nothing of it until it seemed to be more frequent,then she invited me to the movies just as friends and halfway though the movie she kissed me and said that she liked me more then a friend for ages,and that she hated going out in groups or public with me because I seemed to get a lot of female attention,and yea that's my gov of 3 years now but yea just because he don't want to hang out with you while other people are watching doesn't mean that he is imbarrased by you it could mean other possibilities
  • May 30, 2007, 08:42 PM
    deedee06
    It's not that he won't go out in public with me... we go everywhere together but just me and him... and I really don't think it's the embarrassment thing because he tells me that I'm pretty and complements me when I go all out and dress up... I've changed a bit since college (like my hair and my clothes) and he has mentioned that he has noticed it and that he think I look good... it has really always been just a me and him thing...

    I don't think he wants to think that he is my only friend... I don't see there being a point to that and if it was to feel better about himself not having many friends that makes no since because he has lots of friends... lots of friends that are girls...

    But I did mention losing my virginity and he was very disappointed in me (im not exactly sure the exact reason, but something like he couldn't stand how I changed from being a good girl to well... you know)... and when I mentioned that there was a guy I was talking to he gets kind of defensive and almost like he is jealous...
  • May 30, 2007, 09:00 PM
    incognito
    He might not feel comfortable spending quality time with you AND other people.
    He might just want to be with you and you alone.
    Well, you said it yourself, he gets jealous when you talk about liking other guys. He has deeper feelings than he would admit to. Now you are in a whole new realm of relationship quandary.
    He might want something more than friendship and you sound like you don't from him, just be more aware and careful of the possibility of his stronger feelings for you. You don't want to lose a good 5 year friendship.
  • May 31, 2007, 05:48 AM
    rol
    <<whenever I invite him out with my friends he says that he is too shy and that it will be awkward... all the while I'm saying "hey, im shy too, and you will love these people, they are nice and will accept you instantly"... still doesn't want to go... is he really just shy or do you think that there is another thing going on here?
    >>

    When he says its awkward perhaps he means he does not want to as they might think he is your boyfriend. That's the only reason I can see. I would feel the same if I was in his situation. Are the friends all female or mixed?
  • May 31, 2007, 05:50 AM
    rol
    And why don't you just ask him directly why he does not want to meet them?
  • May 31, 2007, 07:52 AM
    deedee06
    I have asked him directly and he says that he is shy and doesn't want to be in a crowd of people he doesn't know...

    The people are all mixed... my brother and his girlfriend and their friends... they are just a year older... and even I don't know all of them but it is still a great time
  • May 31, 2007, 09:04 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    I have asked him directly and he says that he is shy and doesn't want to be in a crowd of people he doesn't know...
    He could be telling the truth, and that's all to it.
  • May 31, 2007, 09:16 AM
    emopunk7
    T-Man is right... There's no more to it. You have your answer. Just have to accept it now. Good luck... Maybe in time he will hang out.
  • May 31, 2007, 12:11 PM
    deedee06
    I can't really accept that though because because he's like the popular guy with tons of friends...

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:45 PM.