Its been 3 months now since me and the girl I was seeing split up. I've stuck by the no contact rule and it is her that has initiated any contact. She emailed me 3weeks ago to say sorry again and gave me the excuse that her head was screwed up and she needed time away from guys. I said I was shocked she was still thinkn about it all (this was me trying to show I wasn't and I was strong). Anyway, she asked for my number again and I gave her it think that maybe light conversation would start but that's all, she said she misses talking to me. Since this explanation about things from her I haven't heard from her once, and every time I'm on Bebo I see she is on line also. She obviously knows I am on too but she never sends me any messages. I think she maybe seeing a guy casually but, I then heard she was standing with another guy one night. She does like attention from the opposite sex as she seems to leave her pals and stand and talk to a guy all night if he is talking to her.

I won't contact her because it will probably set me back again, but why would she not contact me anymore after trying so long to be friends and I eventually not in a roundabout way say we can be, why has she stopped communication??

I feel she does not think of me anymore yet the last email said she did. She can get any guy she wants and has many guys that can take her mind off things, what do I do? Do I just continue no contact and if she contacts me then fair enough, I don't want to show I'm weak as she seems to keep all other guys that like her on a string. It was her making contact fro the 3 months but just to be friend which I couldn't handle. A female opinion would be very helpful here.

If you want to read my previous post it "left confused after being dumped". Sorry for the long story but had to let you guys know exactly what's happening.

Help!!

You definitely do not need a females perspective on this point mate.when it comes to relationships females have no idea what they want. Have a look at what his girl isdoing and yourasking for a females perspective. Females are all confused and like to keep guys on strings. The sooner you realise nearly all females are selfish and only care about there own needs. This is why when afemale is in a relationship and leaves she normally has another guy. Se what i mean she does not even care about the guy she was with. The reason people say but she was really nice during the relationship. Well this is beause she is worried te guy will leave so she does eveything for him but when he becomes close and needy she gets sighnals she can get another guy so then he chases like his on a string.

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Originally Posted by mckenzie134

You definately do not need a females perspective on this point mate.When it comes to relationships females have no idea what they want. Have a look at what his girl isdoing and yourasking for a females perspective. fEMALES ARE ALL CONFUSED AND LIKE TO KEEP GUYS ON STRINGS. tHE SOONER YOU REALISE NEARLY ALL FEMALES ARE SELFISH AND ONLY CARE ABOUT THERE OWN NEEDS. tHIS IS WHY WHEN AFEMALE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND LEAVES SHE NORMALLY HAS ANOTHER GUY. SE WHAT I MEAN SHE DOES NOT EVEN CARE ABOUT THE GUY SHE WAS WITH. tHE REASON PEOPLE SAY BUT SHE WAS REALLY NICE DURING THE RELATIONSHIP. WELL THIS IS BEAUSE SHE IS WORRIED TE GUY WILL LEAVE SO SHE DOES EVEYTHING FOR HIM BUT WHEN HE BECOMES CLOSE AND NEEDY SHE GETS SIGHNALS SHE CAN GET ANOTHER GUY SO THEN HE CHASES LIKE HIS ON A STRING.

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No iwasnt meaning just females to answer, I was just wondering from a female point of view why she acts this way. I know she is casually seeing a guy I just wonder does that mean I'm forgotten about as all of a sudden she has stopped contacting me. I wonder if she was sick of making the effort and has said to herself "if he doesnt contact me then i will leave it as well" she could be doing what I'm doing.Anytime she has made contact I have replied but never started it.

Don't look into things so much, keep working on yourself and your own life without her.

Mckenzie, you are a real idiot. ALL FEMALES? Shut up you fool. No need for all the caps either, a point is better put across in a sentence that makes sense, isn't a complete generalisation and isn't shouting out at the page. Get rid of that chip on your shoulder. For your information not all women are like that and maybe you need to look a bit closer to home as to why you keep picking women who mess you over.

Back to the post... In my opinion, she probably thinks you are over for good, when you replied to her saying that you were surprised she was still thinking about it maybe that was then a trigger for her to think that she should move on if you still were not thinking about it yourself.

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Originally Posted by lisalou

Mckenzie, you are a real idiot. ALL FEMALES? Shut up you fool. No need for all the caps either, a point is better put across in a sentence that makes sense, isnt a complete generalisation and isnt shouting out at the page. Get rid of that chip on your shoulder. For your information not all women are like that and maybe you need to look a bit closer to home as to why you keep picking women who mess you over.

Back to the post... In my opinion, she probably thinks you are over for good, when you replied to her saying that you were surprised she was still thinking about it maybe that was then a trigger for her to think that she should move on if you still were not thinking about it yourself.

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Yeah that could be the case, but I feel I was right in doing this as it was her way all the time I felt. But she also siad " i bet u have abou three girls on the go just now" & "I know a couple of girls who i could pass ur number onto". These comments really confused me and makes me think she is just saying that so she won't looks as bad as she is doing it i.e. she though I was doing it too. I know I won't contact her as it was her decision to finish it and if she wants me she knows how to contact me, but this will not happen.

You say maybe because you are not putting in the effort she may ne doing the same. NO if she wants to get back with you she will let you know...

It sounds to me like she is playing games. : / I know tons of girls like this.

She has found other guys, but wants to win you back as a "plaything" (so to speak) - and if she can't she won't put much effort into it, but it's nice to see if she'd be able to.

Some girls get satisfaction out of seeing what they can make a guy do. It's sick, but I know girls that laugh about what they put guys through and it's horrible.

I don't know that girl, so I'm not assuming she is one of those girls, but her behavior sounds a lot like it is.

Don't contact her. Move on and find someone worth keeping =)

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Originally Posted by SereneAegis

It sounds to me like she is playing games. : / I know tons of girls like this.

She has found other guys, but wants to win you back as a "plaything" (so to speak) - and if she can't she won't put much effort into it, but it's nice to see if she'd be able to.

Some girls get satisfaction out of seeing what they can make a guy do. It's sick, but I know girls that laugh about what they put guys through and it's horrible.

I don't know that girl, so I'm not assuming she is one of those girls, but her behavior sounds a lot like it is.

Don't contact her. Move on and find someone worth keeping =)

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Since I last spoke on this topic I bumped in2 her when I was on holiday, she stood with me all night and left her friends. We ended up kissing but when we got outside the club she wouldn't kiss me again. I found out she was seeing some "casuallly".

I don't know if she kissed me again as she still liked me, I also know that when she was with me in the club that night her ex boyfriend was there, so I'm wondering did she do it just to get at him... I don't even know if he seen it... I don't know if she woulndt kiss me outside cause she felt guilty as she was seeing someone.

She has contacted me on bebo with light conversation but I know it will stop soon. I can't help but like her still but I would never ask her what her motives were that night as it would first of all show I still care and she wouldn't tell me she did it to annoy her ex anyway... this would upset me if she did do it for that.

We got outside the club and she was calling her ex names, like she did when I was with her. Thing is I know she wouldn't get back with him as he treated her bad. When I said somehtin about him she told me not to say it, like she was defending him, I really can't work out this girl...

She said when she was seeing me she really liked me but yet it was her that called it off, she said we are in the past and doesn't want to look back... I know I won't get back with her but I do wonder if she still liked me as we kissed

She is playing a game. She wants to see if she could still have you. I know plenty of girls who do this. They want to know they could still have you if they wanted you. If she is seeing someone else go right back to NC and MOVE ON.

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Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

She is playing a game. She wants to see if she could still have you. I know plenty of girls who do this. They want to know they could still have you if they wanted you. If she is seeing someone else go right back to NC and MOVE ON.

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She said she is seeing someone casually, basically like me and her were... I have responded to her emails being friendly back but if she went with me just to annoy her ex... which I don't know if she did... I will be fuming

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Originally Posted by mckenzie134

You definately do not need a females perspective on this point mate.When it comes to relationships females have no idea what they want. Have a look at what his girl isdoing and yourasking for a females perspective. fEMALES ARE ALL CONFUSED AND LIKE TO KEEP GUYS ON STRINGS. tHE SOONER YOU REALISE NEARLY ALL FEMALES ARE SELFISH AND ONLY CARE ABOUT THERE OWN NEEDS. tHIS IS WHY WHEN AFEMALE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND LEAVES SHE NORMALLY HAS ANOTHER GUY. SE WHAT I MEAN SHE DOES NOT EVEN CARE ABOUT THE GUY SHE WAS WITH. tHE REASON PEOPLE SAY BUT SHE WAS REALLY NICE DURING THE RELATIONSHIP. WELL THIS IS BEAUSE SHE IS WORRIED TE GUY WILL LEAVE SO SHE DOES EVEYTHING FOR HIM BUT WHEN HE BECOMES CLOSE AND NEEDY SHE GETS SIGHNALS SHE CAN GET ANOTHER GUY SO THEN HE CHASES LIKE HIS ON A STRING.

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Are we not all produced from a combination of both father and mother. Male and Female. The myth of our differences, is but that, a myth. The emotions and the actions of a female at the end of a relationship is the same as that of a male in the same curcumstances. It is only by our understanding of these emotions, there affects on the Dumper and Dumpee (Regardless of sex)

Person is attracted to a person, show emotional interest in being with this person.
This is reciprocated as the feelings are mutual. Both people have an emotional interest in the other and love grows.

ONE of the persons is unhappy to some degree or another and considers looking at the alternative mate options (Natural regardless of sex). This person may cheat or end the relationship due to the feeling of being unhappy. Is this person 100% certain, are any of us 100% certain of our actions, what is right or wrong.

So the person leaves, the emotional connection of love has weakened to just a friendship level. Hence the reason for contact.

One person feels friendship the other love. Now who is game playing or being selfish... No one and both of them. Both are being true to their feelings, but they have different feeling for each other.

ALL OF US ACT IN THIS WAY - IT IS THE NORM OF HUMAN EMOTIONS.

Shout, scream, hate - irrelevant. Acceptance and understanding of our own emotions is the only way to relate to the emotions of another.

I wish you all well in your healing journey.

Druid.

Sorry, friend. It does not sound like she is the right girl for you. Let her toy with someone else's heart for a while and leave yours alone. There are so many good women out there who would just love to be with you. Go meet them.

At least she was being honest when she said something was wrong with her head.

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Originally Posted by Tyne26

She said she is seeing some1 casually, basically like me and her were........i have responded to her emails being friendly back but if she went with me just to annoy her ex.....which i dont know if she did.....i will be fuming

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Say it with me NO CONTACT. That is exactly what she is doing. She is trying to build up her self esteem. MOVE ON.

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Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

Say it with me NO CONTACT. That is exactly what she is doing. She is trying to build up her self esteem. MOVE ON.

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I don't know whether to send her an email explaining why I'm not wanting contact with her i.e. explaining thing about her which I don't like and how she treated me?

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Originally Posted by Tyne26

I dunno whether to send her an email explaining why im not wanting contact with her ie explaining thing about her which i dont like and how she treated me?

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You can with the caveat that it is not open for discussion and this is the last time she will hear from you and you will not answer emails, instant messages, text, phone calls. Its done period. If you send that email you will then have to block her out of everything.

You opened the door and only you can close it. She did what she did and you let her. End the games by no contact from here on.You can't move on unless you stop playing her game. Get LOST from her life NOW!!

The others have said it all. If you continue seeing her, be prepared for her continued game playing and stringing you along. Man up, fly the coop and disappear from her life. No calls, no e-mails, no IMs, nothing. Any of these things that you receive from her, don't respond to, just as if you've disappeared from the face of the earth.

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Originally Posted by s_cianci

The others have said it all. If you continue seeing her, be prepared for her continued game playing and stringing you along. Man up, fly the coop and disappear from her life. No calls, no e-mails, no IMs, nothing. Any of these things that you receive from her, don't respond to, just as if you've disappeared from the face of the earth.

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I agree with everything you all say, its just quite hard to stop contact as I know it will stop, when I do still like her a lot. We aren't enemies or anything, I just sometimes wonder if she still likes me at all, I haven't replied to her last email.

I don't know if I'm being silly thinking this but when I walked her home on holiday the other night (me being a gentleman lol) she said she would call me to make sure I got back OK... she didn't call until the afternoon the next day saying she forgot to call me... I feel myself getting angry at this as if she doesn't care as someone who would care would have made sure I got home... am I being silly thinking this way?

Sometimes the little things mean a lot, and since she can't do that, stop the madness and confusion and wondering. You already know the path to walk so why are you holding out hope, and trying to kindle a flame that's not there. I really don't think YOU want to go back, but are trying to make her something she may not be. You tell me.