Two years ago I met a man who was nice and we had so much fun together. I thought he was the one, he told me he was single and looking for someone special. After a while we stopped using protection and I got pregnant. He started acting weird after that. Not coming around as much. I finally starting asking questions I thought he was seeing someone else. Than I got this pain in my stomach and asked if he was married, he didn't answer me but the look on his face told me what I needed to know. He finally answered after 30 min. I was already 8 weeks pregnant and didn't know it. I told him when I found out. He never wanted to stop seeing me he would always tell me he does not love her he feels stuck trapped with her. He even told me he loves/cares about me and my children but two years later he has not left, I keep getting all the excuses of why he has to stay with her ( he's comfortable and he can't get custody of his son and go through a divorce at the same time). They don't have kids, he has a 15 year old son from an earlier marriage. No I don't know what to do. I love him but he does not come around as much again he's telling me it's because he is working not because of his wife "he can't stand her" he says. I want to disconnect from him but I don't know how. It hurts when I talk to him he does not even support our daughter and tries to make everything seem my fault when I confront him on things. How do you move on and get passed when he tries to say he wants to see our daughter than when he gets here he is trying to have sex with me? What do I do and how do I do it? I'm scared of ruining something that will be because of things that he is telling me but again I am upset because I'm finally waking up and seeing the two years that has passed with the same old drama and bs from him. If you where me what would you do. My emotions are in the way and I can't think straight.

Unfortunately when children are involved in these situations, we can't cut ties completely. Even if he is a louse. And I truly mean that. You went into the relationship an innocent. Meaning hetold you he was single. Things were fine then you find yourself pregnant and he's suddnely scarce. He says he's working late but my guess is he's found another conquest and I feel sorry for her as well.
But what I would do if I were you would be to end you relationship with him. He only sees you as a convenience, He likes playing house with out the responsibilities. This is where you need to step up to the plate. Put your child first. I mean I would make sure he was protected in every way possible. I'd stop all contact with him now. Don't return his calls and if he has a key change your lock. I'd see a lawyer for child support and medical coverage as well. Make all contact with him through your attorney so nothing is left to chance and not a case of she said he said. Make sure he is provided for by his father as wellas what you are doing for your little one. Men like him have a habit of walking away thinking you won't make waves because he's married.\
Right now you shouldn't care about that because he didn't when he lied saying he was single. Stick to your guns and don't let him sweet talk you into anything without a lawyer being involved. You need protection as well as you child does.
He knew what he was doing and put himself first instead of his wife and then you. This is where you need to put you and your child first.

You need to file for child support and get him paying, he should be paying without being made, but make him since he don't

Of course he does not love you, if he really did, he would have left his wife for you long ago, you are fun to have sex with, and it appears, still are. Maybe child two could be on the way latter.

The only thing that will be with this guy is severl more years of sex on the side, till his wife finally finds out, or he gets tired of you.

In addition of course to everything stated in the first post I would tell his wife. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find out where they live if you don't know already. She deserves to know what's going on as much as you did.

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Originally Posted by klinglerf

In addition of course to everything stated in the first post I would tell his wife. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find out where they live if you don't know already. She deserves to know whats going on as much as you did.

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She knows. She found emails that I sent to him during my pregnancy. He told her it was a one time thing. I did meet her because I didn't feel comfortable with our daughter going over his house with her and leaving our daughter alone with her for any reason considering the situation and how she found out and that she can't have any children (he painted her out to me to be unstable). She just does not know all the details outside of my not so nice e-mails to him. I do know where they live but have never been back there out of respect for her and my emotional well being.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

You need to file for child support and get him paying, he should be paying without being made, but make him since he don't

Of course he does not love you, if he really did, he would have left his wife for you long ago, you are fun to have sex with, and it appears, still are. Maybe child two could be on the way latter.

The only thing that will be with this guy is severl more years of sex on the side, till his wife finally finds out, or he gets tired of you.

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Yes I'm dropping the papers off on my way to work tomorrow. I tried to get him to help out for 2 years he does more for his son than he does for our daughter and that is what hurts the most. She didn't ask to be here. I have actually cut off sex with him finally it has been 7 weeks but he tries every time he comes over. He has a key to my house. I did change the locks today. The hardest part is letting go and moving on because my feelings are very deep and I believed everything that he was telling me. I do need time from him and not answering his calls makes me feel like I am cheating our daughter from seeing her dad when he does feel like coming and seeing her. I just don't want him around me because I fold every time he makes his advances and he knows that.

He's treating your daughter that way you aren't. During child suport and all matters leagal you can make arrangemnents for visistation. I know it will hurt like hell but don't try and restrict him seeing your child. He'll do that on his own but don't put your daughter in the position of defending him and going against you when she's older. Kids aren't dumb. They see the real world regardless of how we try to shield them. And about dropping the papers off, let the lawyer serve him. He's made the decisions so far regarding responsiblilty toward your daughter. He's choosing his son over her and that's not right. To put it bluntly. He sees you as a place to rest his head and not being respectful about it. Now he's treating your child the same way as an inconveinent truth he doesn't want to face. (his mind not yours)
You're right children don't ask to be born into this world. That's why they deserve better than we had.

To solve the him wanting sex when he comes round to see your daughter, make sure a friend is always there with you when he comes over. That way maybe he will spend time with the little girl he is supposed to be coming to see.

Be Strong, Act Strong, Know You Are Loved, Know You Are Love.. And All Will Be.
Be Happy.

Make sure he takes care of his obligations and especially avoid any physical relationship with him. Work on yourself and focus on yourself esteem as I honestly can't see how you can be weak for a person who lies, and practiced such deceit on you. If you need help in this area get it, as your child will need all your strength and focus right now an I know for a fact he will try and use you again for his own selfish needs . Don't let this idiot close to you ever again. But if he steps up let him be a father. He doesn't need to have sex with you for that.

If I were you I would ask for back pay for your services. And then go to the court house and ask for child support!