I have always faced problems when it comes to emotions, as I am a rather emotional person, but lately it has got worse.
I am 18, and at college and over the next 3 weeks I have all my a level exams, usually I am 100% dedicated to my studies, but I somehow have my mind on other things 24/7 and still as yet have not done any revision with under 2 weeks until my first exams.

Firstly I lost my best mate, she changed her group of friends and now I hardly ever see her, and she was my life! Secondly I have just lost a lad I was madly in love with, we were no together but in the process (it was taking a long time) only to which I discovered yesterday he has been sleeping with a good mate of mine behind my back for a while now and has had the pair of us on the go at the same time, but I still love him deep down. He is on my mind 24/7 and I cannot stop thinking about him/ thirdly because I am so down I find it hard to get on with people. I become quite moody and have no patience with anyone. I also feel so terribly lonely, but when my mates try to make me go out I just never feel like it, I just want to be alone all the time but when I'm alone I just dwell and how bad my life is, but I actually feel scared to go out, as I have no self confidence.

I am currently trying to lose weight for the summer so I can try and have more confidence, but I am scared because of my situation and irrational thoughts I may take it too far as I am already beginning to starve myself!

Finally I'm petrified that I am not going to pass my a-levels which I am predicted A grades in and that is what I need for uni, a year ago I had my life planned out and I was on track for my grades, but since that lad came into my life everythin changed.

I have no one to talk to as I don't really speak to my parents about this, as they are so "perfect" and expect the best they would never be able to sympathise with me and it would not do any favours for the family image if I was a problem child. I feel like I can only talk to this and so I really would like some advice on how I can get over a lad and not feel lonely, without going out wit mates as that is not what I want to do, I like being alone and I need to learn to revise hard and do well.

Please please don't ignore this I am begging for help I cannot go on like this in this state it is truly ruining my life!

Oh so tuff a situation. DOn't rush yourself. You have a lot to think about. I recommend a couple to things. FIrst, if you can. Put all of your emotions in a box. You really have to do this in your mind. Picture a box, every detail, color shape and size etc. It has to be real in your mind. Next put all of these problems in the box one by one ,again very detailed and then very slowly with again great detail seal the box and put it away. Once the box is away in your head forget it. Now study and prepare for those exams and papers. If any thought of these problems try to come out of the box quickly seal it again. DO not open the box until after you are home or at least your exams are done. WHen you are home take each problem out one at a time and deal with them as you can. I am not trying to tell you not to work through all of these issues but if you need to put them aside for a week or two to get through the exams this may work for you. You probably could go to your professors and school counselor. They usually are great to work with in times like this. Write again when you are opening the box but right now don't do anything about them. No dieting either,just school work. If you need to use this site to wirte about your box I will be glad to help if I can. Good Luck to you.

Hi Deepdown - We would never ever ignore you. And how you feel is very important to us.

Is there a counciller there at the college that you could talk to?

You have had a lot of overwhelming things to contend with and bunching them all together makes them even bigger. I know, I do the same thing.

When I get so overwelmed like that, and believe you me, we all do, don't let the smiles on the outside fool you... I stop myself and think, okay, yes, been going through some tough times, but you know what, I can see, walk, talk hear and thank God for that. I start there and just start slowly going over all the blessings and good things and try and shake off the bad stuff happening.

You did a great thing by writiting down your feelings here, and I think it would help you even more if there was a counciler there that you could sit and have a chat with.

Oh being 18 is a great great age. I actually was 18 once ;) and I so remember how overwhelming things can get. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, that I promise you.

You are not alone!

Hey guys,
I cannot being to tell you how much I appreciate your help!
I am really liking to box idea, I might work on that one tonight when I go to bed, as usually I just lie awake all night waiting for this lad to text me... but obviously the texts never come anymore, as he has this other girl. (what makes me sick though is that the pair of them are being sickly sweet with me, and I think he may not realise I know, as he probable expects me to give him silent treatment, but as a friend said don't give him the satisfaction of letting him know you are upset, get on with life as if nothing has happened!)
But tonight I am going to try and turn a new leaf, I cannot let that idiot guy ruin my future which was once amazing and meant everything to me, I think I'm disadvantaged but I still have two weeks to revise hard and try and get the best I can (but then I have worries that my parents expect A grades and if I don't get them they will be very mad!)
I do realise I am not alone, as I do have good mates who try to encourage me all the time, but none of them mean as much as my best mate did and I miss her so so much.
I feel a bit like I am attention seeking by writing on here, but I am just trying everything, as the more I keep inside the worse I feel. I feel proud that I can write down my feelings as its something I have never been able to do yet, as I lack so much self esteem.
There are counsellors in college, however I have officially left now, as I only return for my exams, therefore they would probably not be interested, plus I would like to stay clear of them as I'm petrified that they may pass on information to my parents or another member of staff, and I am not good at getting my feelings across in person, its easier to write, I also have a mjaor trust issue after a lot of things, friends, reltionships, and now this guy, and I find it so hard to trust anyone, therefore talking to someone I don't know sort of makes me feel a bit better, if that makes any sense?
I feel so selfish when I think of my issues compared to what some people are currently going through, and that should be enough for me to get over it, but it just isn't anymore.
But as I said I really like the idea of this box, so I may well give it a whirl tonight in bed and put all my problems in it and send it away! But I know it is going to be hard as this guy is on my mind all the time, and whatever I do or say it doesn't matter he is still there its as if I don't realise I am doing it! Plus I work with them so whenever I go to work and they are there they are always on my mind, which is really hard to deal with!
I am just going to have to be very strong.
I have a holiday away with my mates straight after my exams, I may even leave the box on holiday so the issues can never return!
Thanks guys, and I really do appreciate it, I may write again in a few days if I need to!

The counselor in the states anyway, can not devulge any info to your parents. I think though once home you should let your parents know what you have been through so they can be prepared for lower grades. IF you let them know that is it not that you just didn't care about your grades or were not just goofing off it will go over better with them. Remember now the box is just temporary you will have to take that box down sometime when you are ready and deal with these disappointments. DOn't feel bad about using this site that is what is here for and it as helped us all.

Sweetheart -

Don't you dare feel bad about feeling sad. I completely understand about the trust issue. Slowly you will rebuild people around you that can be a source of trust and support for you. But first, trust and believe in yourself.

I too, have such a hard time communicating when something is bothering me. I have no idea in the world how to get it out. But you are wise to know that you can write down your feelings. I love love love the box idea.

And deep, you always have us. Someone is always here. So please never feel you are alone.

Deepdown, Doing Ok?

I can tell you from personal experience that Lacey and Allheart are sent from heaven above. As long as you need their guidance or support they are here to help lead the way. I have been through some dark times and their advice has pushed me through the worst of it. I still have a long way to go, but I know I can be honest and not afraid of them pushing me away. This is a safe place for all of your emotions and you will have plenty more. It is so sad when the people you love betray you when you are so loving and loyal. It hurts to the core. You sound like you put a lot of effort into everything and get disappointed in yourself too quickly. You don't have to put so much pressure on you to be perfect. The people who hurt you are selfish and ignorant. They have many lessons to learn and believe me it will come back to them until they do! I know you love them and you should, being compassionate helps you to heal more quickly. I feel sorry for them because they are weak and whether you realize it, you are the strong one. I know it doesn't feel that way, but you are. You have come here to find comfort and solace and it is here waiting. Don't worry so much about the future of your relationships with them, just focus on you and your journey through this. You may come out more ahead than where you started. Don't give up on yourself, you are doing the right thing getting every feeling out. It will allow you to make progress and heal within. You are someone with high goals and expectations, that is a good thing, but don't do it in extremes. You put too much pressure on yourself and then you can't focus on what's in front of you. Just get through today and then worry about tomorrow. Your future is full of promise and wonderful blessings, just be a little more patient with yourself and realize how special you are.