About a year ago, a very close friend of mine was killed in a car crash, and for a while I was quite depressed about. But Within the past several months, now, I honestly fell like I don't even care that he's gone anymore. Not just that, its almost like I have no emotions, but I don't feel depressed, I feel quite good about myself, I just for some reason don't care what any one thinks about me or anything. I'm starting to speak up and say whatever I feel like saying, even if it hurts someone else, or costs me my job(s). I used to visit my friends graveevery week, now, I don't even think about him unless his name comes up in conversation. Could my "experimentation" with witchcraft be associated with it in anyway even though I was into that stuff BEFORE he died? Just wondering.

You say you do not feel depressed but your words describing your emotions and behavior tell me you are depressed. It sounds like you have tried to detach yourself from the part of reality involving your friend's death - people do that as a defense mechanism, so they do not feel pain. Sooner or later though, the pain does come out. I see that you have started to "starting to speak up and say whatever I feel like saying, even if it hurts someone else, or costs me my job(s).". You are acting out, transferring your pain to others. I think you do care that you do that, but not sure why you do that. People are not going to stick around you long and then you can be in your world where no one can hurt you.

I do not know so much about the "witchcraft" you described. That may have no bearing on what you are experiencing. I strongly feel you would be going through this no matter what. But if your dabbling into witchcraft has lent to your dour outlook, has clouded any real healing, then there could be an affect on you. Have you tried to find someone to talk to about your feelings and your non feelings? My concern is that if you continue on the course you described above of being ruthlessly open with people, even to the point of losing friends and/or a job, you will be getting a harsh wake up call soon.

Well, I see what you mean, but the thing is, like for example, one time another friend had mentioned the accident and realised what he said, knowing they were a real close friend of mine, but the thin was is I replied, "ah it alright, were all gonna die soon anyway," and I like, didn't feel bad or anything, it was weird. I only brought up the witchcraft cause another friend of mine told me that, that could be what is changing my behavior, he calls me possessed, demons seed, you know, things like that.

helper05:

You say you don't care, but you do, otherwise you would not want to know our opinion of you.

What were the circumstances of this tragedy?

What you describe can be depression and /or post traumatic stress. Other's call it "survivor's guilt."

I have no opinion on withcraft.

I don't know you personally and cannot judge you. I think you should seek some professional counseling regarding the issues you have regarding this tragic event.



Grace and Peace

When someone throws a label like "possessed" or "demon seed", they cannot know what in the world they are talking about. Unless they have a professional base of knowledge. If this were your priest who said this to you, then you could be concerned. But what is your friends experience in witchcraft?

If the accusations are bothering you, then please go and talk to someone who will take your concerns seriously. It is true that experimenting with the unknown dark forces when you have no knowledge of what you are doing, is like giving a child a loaded gun. The child does not know the gun is loaded and is certainly not aware of the harmful consequences. You do not know what spirit you have called into your life when you start messing in the occult.

I just do not know how much of your behavior is linked with your experimentations. I tend to believe you are acting rather normally for someone who is denying the grief process. You have put on a mask of dull emotions, in order to cope with what is really going on. Like you do not give a fig for anything. But you really do, otherwise you would not be posting here.

It is complicated. That is why I hope you seek out a professional to help you work through your exterior, to uncover your interior and then heal. Good luck.