Hello, my girlfriend has told me that the only way she can have an orgasm is if she applies a lot of pressure to the outside of her "danger zone," as she refers to it. She tells me the easiest way for her to do it is simply to sit on top of an object such as a jar, the flat end of a flashlight, hairspray bottle, and many other objects. I tell her that I would obviously like to be able to replect the result of her doing that but she says it can't be done and she tried it with somebody before me. My question is, is this a very common thing? Also, do you have any advice as to how I could take part in this somehow, and be able to satisfy her as much as a flashlight? =( It has kind of been bumming out.

Thanks,

I'm sorry I have no idea. The visual of that, is kind of confusing too. Hmmm, have you tried asking her, what she can do? Is that the only was she can orgasm? I mean, oral stimulation, does not do it for her? Or--mannual?

I'm sure if she has an orgasm with inanimate objects,she will do so with your penis right? I'm stumped also,not really heard of too much of it over here.
vibrator yes... flashlight no.
Talk to her, it sounds like she is hung up on this,and it will turn into a problem in the end.she doesn't sound emotionally connected during sex.

I agree, I have told her to just try and enjoy things with me more because it is an emotional state of mind as well as physical from what I am told. I have given her oral for an extended period, fingered her, and we have had sex sometimes lasting close to an hour. Nothing. I can tell that she really does enjoy it a lot and she tells me she does, but she just dosen't orgasm. To try and depict it better is hard as I have not witnessed it myself and she is embarrassed any time we talk about it because she feels that it is extremely wiered and unusual. But from what I have been told basically from one time she has done it is this, she goes into the bathroom, takes a hairspray bottle, flips it over, puts it on the ground, and pushes what I am assuming is the outside of her or the itself (not sure about terminolagy), against the bottom of the hairspray bottle. She told me that she can do this while fully clothed also. I am really lost myself on this. She is only 16 and I know that all girls don't have orgasims and that most usually can't until after 18 or something like that so I am not completely discouraged but the fact that she can make me orgasm and I can't do the same for her just sucks you know? If you have any other suggestions or comments it would be much appreciated.

Thanks,

I have given one woman an orgasm simply by stroking the sides of her ribs while she was sitting on my leg. And trust me it was a real one, won't go into more details to keep it clean but we needed a towel afterwards and it wasn't pee. Many women have widely varying spots that will get them off. Many the last place you might think.

I'd say yours is a little less usual in the manner but then I've seen a lot of different ways that will send a woman over the edge so to speak.

Yeah going off what smoothy said above me, its just right.
I don't know, depending on the age of the guy, some think... ok I have this protruding part of me and I'm going to get it in there as quick as I can... theres more to do...
OK so you have tried oral, no joy, she's young, she may be self conscious,you have tried with your fingers... vary it a little, use oil or something,go faster,slower,deeper.. you get it... and I shall stop now I was getting too much into that wasn't I lol... moving on... the thing for me is have a sense of humour about it.
If something doesn't go to plan laugh about it, brings you closer and it doesn't feel so much of a militry operation to get her to have an orgasm .
I remember trying a new position the first time he stayed over for the weekend with me, I had saved up for a long time to buy a new bed.. first night he was there we ended up breaking the bed, don't ask, but you know we laughed so hard...
Sex doesn't always go the way you want it to... the only thing I can really suggest for you is to talk,laugh,have fun, discover TOGETHER what does it for her... if that doesn't work she is
A-a robot
B-Not ready to be having sex yet
C-insecure
D-thinks sex is something to be ashamed of (may be how she was brought up)
Or E-i hate to say it but there may be a small possibility that she might have been sexually abused.im not saying it's the case, but its something to think about.
Take it easy... fix.

I agree with fix-what-you-broke, sadly it could also be F... all of the above. She needs to find out what's going on... counseling... and don't force her to share she will when she's ready. :)

Get her a vibrator.

How will that solve HIM wanting to be involved in her pleasure?

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Originally Posted by mmil223

Hello, my girlfriend has told me that the only way she can have an orgasim is if she applies alot of pressure to the outside of her "danger zone," as she refers to it. She tells me the easiest way for her to do it is simply to sit on top of an object such as a jar, the flat end of a flashlight, hairspray bottle, and many other objects. I tell her that I would obviously like to be able to replect the result of her doing that but she says it can't be done and she tried it with somebody before me. My question is, is this a very common thing? Also, do you have any advice as to how I could take part in this somehow, and be able to satisfy her as much as a flashlight? =( It has kind of been bumming out.

Thanks,

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Try this (tie her legs together and lick yourway to her box with out opening her legs) wb and let me know how it turns out teasing your way there is the best high!

You could also try placing your whole palm over her clitoris while having sex, it might serve as a wide surface she normally likes using.

Thank you all for your input. I think we are very comfortable when doing things, when we first started she was all like it is awkward and everything but now we try new things and stuff and it really isn't that big of a deal so I don't think she is really uncomfortable at all. My take on it from when we talk about just having her orgasm not just her way but any way at all is that she really has it stuck in her head that she is "broken" and that she doesn't work vaginally. I have tried repeatedly to tell her that she is still young, it isn't set in stone, and that she has to kind of put herself into the mood so to speak but she is just set that it will never happen. I know she wouldn't go for counseling about this or anything like that and I also know she was never sexually abused as a child. I also know that every women kind of has their own thing that does it for them but I just find it unfortunate that as of right now anyway I can't have anything to do with it from what she says. I have offered repeatedly to try using my hand like you have suggested snapdragon and she told me that she had previously tried it and it didn't work either. I have told her that it bothers me and she does reassure me and tells me that it feels really good and she loves having sex and doing things with me but she just doesn't orgasm. If anybody else has some related advice I am all ears and thank you for everyone's postings so far I appreciated your attempts to help.

I think her problem is, because she hasn't ever experienced an orgasm via male form, she doesn't know what her body is capable of, she's used to what she's used to, obviously masterbating with those items.
If she wants to give it ago, I have no doubt in my mind that she will orgasm. Maybe it will take a few turns?
Tell her to go on top and you could try and put one of those objects just near her pelvic area.

We all have the potential to orgasm!