What should I do after being with a man for 5 years!! We have a home together two children... but he treats me like crap yea he buys me wutever I want and gives me money when I need it beacause I don't work... he wants me to be astay at home mom... hes so disrespectful to me and to my whole family.. he constantly puts me down.. he never takes me anywhere and he says its because we have kids . He acts like it's the end of the world because we have kids.. I don't think so I think life has just really begun. When we get into arguments he says the nastiest thing s about me and my mom and everbody else that I care about...
I do the best that I can to make him happy but to him its never good enough.. he make me feel like a nobody.. he never shows me ne affection unless he want to have sex then after that I'm just a nobody again I guess to him that's all I'm good for he's never around for the holidays he always goes and works with his brother or has something better to do he wasn't even here for mothers day!! But he says he loves me more than anything.. but to him love is throwing money at me and thinking that's what I want.. I want him to be a part of my life like it used to be... help

It doesn't sound like you are happy at all and from what you have told us I can't blame you. I would get out of this relationship too, unless you want a life of misery and your children growing up in an unhealthy environment.

Go and get some legal advice about custody of your children and leave him.

No Because you have been with him for so long and Kids No way they should have a father

Sorry, Run don't walk to the nearest exit. The way he treats you... I know this guy (my ex husband) come to find out he's got 2 other women in his life!
Also it sounds like he's a bit mentally abusive.
So try to get some counseling... if he refuses go yourself and get out.

Well, we are only hearing your side of the story. Mind you, you have children with him and you should put them first and then think "should I leave him" I agree that a child needs a father. Did you know that a woman has the most POWER in a relationship? Although it takes a lot of hard work and smarts to find out how to use it, we have it. I think it would be wise to seek counseling, but I also think it would be wise to see what YOU can do to make him want to be nicer to you. Sometimes men are stupid. You have to give them the smarts to make it work too. Guys, I didn't mean to offend you! I love you all especially if you treat your ladies well. Try using YOUR power to help the situation. You have to give it more than a few days and be consistent with what you are doing. Don't give up honey, this is the most common problem between bored relationships. My husband used to be this guy and with a little love and luck he is slowly turning around! I wish you luck and please don't run, there are two sides to this story have you asked him what his is? Honestly and without fighting about it?

OK... Tough one. I wonder first, do you talk behind his back a lot to your family and friends? He may subconsciously know that and recent you and them in ways. That is so common you would not believe it. But if you are truly being mentally abused to a degree that it is affecting you, something needs to change. Number 1: counseling! People have no idea what they are like and tend to take things for granted and it gets worse with time every time. And say things with no or little regard to the affects it has, and it can bring you down and keep you there. That leads to depression, poor coping skills, etc...
#2: I know you have tried hard to communicate these problems to no avail... If not, try. But there are extreme measures that I have seen over and over again that work. I'm a guy and have been in his shoes, to be honest with you. I have also seen friends families go through this so many times. You can take your kids and leave him to your mom's or a friends or anywhere. And make him see that you will not be in that relationship any longer, that it is sick. This doesn't mean that it's over... It means that he will do what ever it takes to make it better, I believe he loves you. He is just taking you for granted. You know that saying? "I never knew what I had till it was gone" will be said for sure. If your situation requires this drastic movement then stay strong! Don't hop back in a week and have things fixed temporarily, you got to let it ride at least a month. Or three weeks if its to hard to hack. Phone conversations should be kept to a minimum until counseling begins and that he will surely go for. The advice you had from the other person was assuming another women or two, and said Run! I disagree... You try to make him happy and are good to him, if this is true, than he has lost sight of a lot and he needs to come ashore and get his scope fixed.

Rules I would set: Do not try to humiliate him, keep what ever you can private between you and counseling, leave the most to one person in your life that won't judge him as hard and will give him a chance. {because we all know women talk.} I hate going to family events with people who don't like me.
When doing any sort of exchanges with your children be careful to try to use a third party in those events... And use someone of mutual respect, if that doesn't exist. Try to leave it to daycare or school drop offs and pick ups. Get back if you think I am out in left field on this... I do think it's better than tossing a family in a worse rut, when you may be able to fix it. 5 years and 2 kids and a home and financial security are things that can be taken for granted of as well. You do what is right for you and your kid's and for the man you love good luck.

It is something that can be fixed, but a terrible habit. Try to make him glow a little more in other peoples eye's... And put your foot down! If you have a real problem, tell him. Good luck, and you r obviously a incredible person. If you want make me your buddy. I may need your advice one day

Greg has a great point, I hope you take his advice and try to work it out. Good luck!

If this relationship is not making you happy and you've expressed yourself and things have not changed, then its time for action, leave.

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disagrees: That is easy to say. When you are sitting in the cheap seats at a computer far away. Some things need help to stay alive, and if it posts a challenge it needs to be addressed properly. Maybe you should stick to asking questions..

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You can only go by what they wrote and sometimes a break is needed to get perspective. There are times that after a spouse expresses the need to leave, that starts the change, as people take others for granted until they are not their. And your very personal remark was not needed, as if you check it I don't ask a lot of question, but answer a lot, so pay attention newbie, and talk what you know.

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I want him to be a part of my life like it used to be... help

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Can you identify what has changed between the good times and bad?

Yes let us stick with the subject. We all have our own personal feelings and views about each situation, that is why this site is so helpful. Good luck to you and your family. I hope it all works out. Keep us updated with your situation, we ALL might be able to help!