Ask Me Help Desk - Unmarried fathers rights

My boyfriend & I have been dating 2 months but have known each other a lot longer. We don't exactly live together but may be soon. We are together everyday. We both have 3 yr old sons from previous relationships. My son is with me 24/7, he hasn't seen his but once in the last 2 months it was for 6 hrs. He pays more child support than he should for the amount he gets paid at work. He tried to go through the court to get support set up but all they told him was "child support is not an issue till she makes it one." He got the same answer when he tried to get visitation set up. He has tried 5 times to get visitation and he pays support any way. He talks to his baby's momma every week when he gives her a check (which he makes copies of) and when she calls saying she needs more money. Every time he talks to her he asks when he can get his son she tells him we'll see. He always tells her when he's off and askes to get his son on those days she just says we will see or has some excuse. He loves his son & wants any rights he can get. He is awsome with my son so I know he is with his. I haven't seen them together because even though she has a boyfriend who you know is around her son she doesn't want him around me, that's not the point even though it is petty. I just want to help my boyfriend get visitation to his son. She does tell him that he can come to her parents home & see their son, the problem with that is when he's around her family they put him down & are vicious to him in front of the boy. I don't blame him for not wanting to do that. His family hasn't gotten to see the boy much at all since he was born. They were never married but lived together until the baby was 6 months old. I nearly killed him when she walked out with his son. He isn't sure what to do now & he gets upset when the issue is brought up between him and his family or friends. He is one of the few guys that I know that actually wants to be a dad and take care and be with his child. I just want to know what he needs to do to get his visitation rights to his son?

He needs to hire a lawyer, period. He won't get anywhere without one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by brwneyedgrrl23

My boyfriend & I have been dating 2 months but have known each other a lot longer. We dont exactly live together but may be soon. We are together everyday. We both have 3 yr old sons from previous relationships. My son is with me 24/7, he hasnt seen his but once in the last 2 months it was for 6 hrs. He pays more child support than he should for the amount he gets paid at work. He tried to go thru the court to get support set up but all they told him was "child support is not an issue till she makes it one." He got the same answer when he tried to get visitation set up. He has tried 5 times to get visitation and he pays support any way. He talks to his babys momma every week when he gives her a check (which he makes copies of) and when she calls sayin she needs more money. Everytime he talks to her he asks when he can get his son she tells him we'll see. He always tells her when hes off n askes to get his son on those days she just says we will see or has some excuse. He loves his son & wants any rights he can get. He is awsome with my son so I know he is with his. I havent seen them together because even though she has a boyfriend who you know is around her son she doesnt want him around me, thats not the point even though it is petty. I just want to help my boyfriend get visitation to his son. She does tell him that he can come to her parents home & see their son, the problem with that is when hes around her family they put him down & are vicious to him in front of the boy. I dont blame him for not wanting to do that. His family hasnt gotten to see the boy much at all since he was born. They were never married but lived together til the baby was 6 months old. I nearly killed him when she walked out with his son. He isnt sure what to do now & he gets upset when the issue is brought up between him n his family or friends. He is one of the few guys that I know that actually wants to be a dad and take care and be with his child. I just want to know what he needs to do to get his visitation rights to his son?

It sounds like jealousy with her which is not fair if he's paying for child support and even extra he should get his son 50 % of his life there's a problem girlfriend its not their relationship it yours and his thst pissing her off

You have probably been given the advice to get a lawyer. The truth is that you very likely will not need one. I have a 4yr. Old daughter. Her father and I were never married and Her father is active in her life. It is amazingt the right of a father. The first step is to get a paternity test done. We live in MI. All states are a bit different, but all he did was go through the friend of the court. He did not hire a lawyer. I on the other hand did spend $5,000 on a lawyer. He went to jail for 8 months when she was 7 months old. I tried to get full custody, and also to have him as little parenting time as possible. I think it is very good in your case that he wants to play an active role in his child's life, as for my case he is just not a good influence for our daughter. Anyway, I was told that even if he left the state for four years and came back he would have the right to see her, being he is the biological father. So start with the friend of court before you hire a lawyer. And they may even provide a lawyer for you. Bottom line is that even if they were never married as the father he has rights. Also make sure that you keep very good documentation of EVERYTHING. DOCUMENTATION BEATS CONVERSATION always. Every time he talkes to the mother have him right what the conversatin was about and the results. If her family is talking bad about him in front of the child make sure to write that down. And do not let the child's mother know that you are keeping documentation. This is very important to do. As all courts are more concerned with having both parents involved in the child's life as long as they are proven fit. And also the best interest of the child not the parents. So bashing mom or dad in front of the child is never good for the child and if he brings documentation of that it will be very helful in court, as well as any attempts to see the child, especially if denied.

I know this was long, but hope it helps