I have been in long distance relationship for 5 months we met before an accident caused me to move back home only 2 hrs away.

I had surgery 2 months ago and couldn't travel for a month or so over the past few weeks when I mentioned coming to visit he had plans going to a game, overtime, a family event. It all checked out he'd call me as soon as he got home. I don't think he's cheating. I think he's absent-minded and immature. I have mentioned breaking up and he opposes. I didn't return his calls for a week and he fell apart. When I called I told him I was confused and I told him let's end it and when I move back and if I'm single we can try then. He said" you don't want to talk to me until you move back."

He is having a hard time adjusting to being a boyfriend. He wants to hang out with his friends- come and go as he pleases, but he still wants to be with me but has realized it takes compromise. I know when I move back things will be much better.

This is for the girls, guys if you read this side effects may be rolling of the eyes:

When we are together he loves all over me. When we talk and I tell him this is what I need from you- he does it. He has this boyish way that I know he is trying but I am losing the patience it takes to see him bloom into the man I need him to be and will spend the rest of my life with.

What do I do? I don't want him to stay home with me and resent me- all I can see is us sitting in his apt by ourselves bored. And I wonder if I should end it now because he's not mature enough for the kind of relationship I want.

You have to realize that you can't change a person, but you can only change yourself. Notice how often you are judging people around you. Work at injecting mercy and compassion in place of cold analysis. Notice the shift in yourself when you make that transition...

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when I mentioned coming to visit he had plans going to a game, overtime, a family event.

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Did he already have these plans in place? If so you can't expect him to just drop his plans... Im sure that he wants to see you but his plans were already made. I think it shows maturity that he keeps his plans and his word to his friends and family. You could however plan it for another weekend and compromise.

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He wants to hang out with his friends- come and go as he pleases, but he still wants to be with me but has realized it takes compromise.

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He wants to still do the things that make him happy but you have a problem with that? He should be able to do those things... maybe a little compromise but you shouldn't expect him to just drop these things. They are what make him... him.

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He has this boyish way that I know he is trying but I am losing the patience it takes to see him bloom into the man I need him to be and will spend the rest of my life with.

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Sounds like he is a pretty young man and still growing as a person. He is going to go at his own pace and you can help by supporting that and being patient. But you can't expect him to just be the man you want.

Im not busting your chops here. I have been in almost this same situation. A long distance relationship... a man still young to the world... and a woman that was more mature. She gave me the chance to learn and helped me along the way. You can either support him in it or find someone that is more mature and has the qualities you are looking for.

Take a look at this post as well for some more insight.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ned-94933.html

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Originally Posted by Sdjosh

Did he already have these plans in place? If so you can't expect him to just drop his plans.... Im sure that he wants to see you but his plans were already made. I think it shows maturity that he keeps his plans and his word to his friends and family. You could however plan it for another weekend and compromise.

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The game was last minute but it's his favorite team- but I understand all the past "plans" but in light of that he should think This weekend he'll spend with me. He had no plans no plans no plans last couple of weeks when I asked him what he was doing Memorial day weekend. He does things at to last minute and when I asked him when he was leaving he asked "you wanted to come down?" "nothing's definite I'll let you know"

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Originally Posted by Sdjosh

He wants to still do the things that make him happy but you have a problem with that? He should be able to do those things....maybe a little compromise but you shouldn't expect him to just drop these things. They are what make him ...him.

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I don't have a problem with him doing things with his friends- I never insist he drop anything. I just want that little compromise and effort on his part; some planning ahead showing that we will hang out soon