Ask Me Help Desk - I cannot stop stealing

I cannot stop stealing

It started about two years ago, a year after my mom left our family without one word of leaving. My dad was in debt, and I never got spending money. I was okay though and for a while I dealt with it. Somewhere down the line, I brought myself to believe that I deserved good things, I deserved pretty clothes and jewellery and toys and books and whatever I saw that I wanted. I made myself believe that I deserved all the designer brands and the cute shoes and whatnot. When I got a boyfriend, it got worse- I wanted to look good for him and I just started stealing everything. My dad would not let me get a job and would not give me money, so I resorted to stealing everything I could get my hands on. Now I cannot stop and I feel good after stealing. I do not feel guilty at all. What can I do to solve this ireally want to stop but I cannot. I made myself think that I deserve all these things.

First of all how old are you?

OK, I'm leaving soon but I wanted to reply to this, it all depends on your age really, I mean if you are 13 then nobody expects you to get a job to get the things that you want, maybe do a bit of work around the house to help your parents out in return for spending money.
Then again if you are older you really should know better. Things in this life are not free, far from it.
I would love a gleaming toyota celica, a red one would be nice, but I'm not going to go out and steal it... I will have one some day, I know I will, but I will work hard to get it.
I know how you feel because I didn't have the best childhood either, but please get out of this before its too late, you could get arrested (I was three times), it will go on your record, and yes it will affect you getting a job in the future... for a while I blamed my childhood on the problems I had, but one day I realized that it was me that was stupid enough to do those things, nobody was making me do it, and I was using my childhood to make it seem OK to be doing it.
The things I have done affect me now, I'm going to be in my 30`s before I know it and it still affects me... do the right thing, if you want these things work hard for them, and if you are still at school work on getting a good education to get the job you need for the lifestyle you want.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rachelC

it started about two years ago, a year after my mom left our family without one word of leaving.

Your mom's failure as a parent is not a reflection on your behavior. No matter what decisions your mom or anyone else makes you must make decisions that are in the best interest of yourself. Stealing is not it and the reality is you know your going to get caught. It's a numbers game and the thief always loses in the end.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rachelC

my dad was in debt, and i never got spending money. i was okay though and for a while i dealt with it. somewhere down the line, i brought myself to believe that i deserved good things, i deserved pretty clothes and jewelery and toys and books and whatever i saw that i wanted. i made myself believe that i deserved all the designer brands and the cute shoes and whatnot.

Then work for them. And by that I don't mean get a job if you dad says you can't have one. I mean go to school and study you off and get the best possible grades you can. Use that to get a job when you graduate or go to college. But eventually that will pay off and pay you, which in turn will allow you to buy what your looking for..

Quote:

Originally Posted by rachelC

when i got a boyfriend, it got worse- i wanted to look good for him and i just started stealing everything.

Does your boyfriend approve of this? If so then he sucks as a boyfriend. Any guy that would put you in harms way... and if your stealing and you get caught and roughed up by security or the police you are in harms way. If any guy does that he doesn't care about you at all.

If he has no idea your doing this, what do you think he'd say if he found out? Do you think he'd be happy that you base the relationship on designer clothes?

Quote:

Originally Posted by rachelC

my dad would not let me get a job and would not give me money, so i resorted to stealing everything i could get my hands on.

You know why he doesn't want you to have a job. He wants you to study so that you don't wind up like him, single, broke, and having to take care of children with little money. I say you father deserves a hug from you for making the scarfices he is so that you won't suffer like he is. I don't think you have the slightest idea how much he's giving you by not allowing you to get a job.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rachelC

now i cannot stop and i feel good after stealing. i do not feel guilty at all. what can i do to solve this ireally want to stop but i cannot. i made myself think that i deserve all these things.

What you feel is a natural high after stealing because you did something daring. Unfortunately, it's also illegal. So try rock climbing, skate boarding or something else that will give you a natural high. But the reality is you will get caught. It's bound to happen and what is you father who is so proud of his little girl and is making scarfices for her future going to say then? Doing this is hurting more then yourself and those you steal from it's going to hurt your dad and possibly your boyfriend when he finds out, you friends, you future, any employment opportunities that you will seek out in the future. Think of all the hell that will bring to your life and maybe you can start turning around these ideas that this is exciting. Because the first moment you are caught the excitement ends for ever.