I'm 21, my boyfriend is 23, and we have been together for 8 years. We have three kids together. For about the past year or so we only have sex once a week, and I feel like it has to be done because it's "scheduled". (He works 50+ hours a week and I work part-time nights,) although it has only been recently he seems turned off. When we first met I was 14 and I had a nice body but 6 years and three kids later, well, I'm bigger. I get hit on a lot though, so why doesn't he want me him? He has no problem letting me go down on him or anal, but when it comes to just sex, it's like I have a disease he doesn't want me, he says he just doesn't like sex like he used to, and I really don't think he's cheating. He says it's not my weight(which I've been working on) If we fall off schedule, I get really hurt and upset and start a fight which just makes it worse. I can get myself off so it's more an emotional issue. I don't know what to do. I don't feel it's enough to split over, I just want to make things better.

My hubby and I have been married for 12 years and we have 4 kids. It's normal to go through a phase like this. The only thing you can do is not let it rule your life.

My hubby was working over 80 hours a week and I was working full-time myself. With a bunch of little ones running around there was no time or desire to have sex. I mean, we wanted to, we were attracted to each other but the thought of it was so exhausting it just made it feel like a chore. So I guess it was more that we wanted to want to have sex but we just couldn't muster up the energy to do so.

Even when we did have sex (which was less often than once a week) it wasn't exactly spectacular. It was even disappointing sometimes.

Don't let him give it to you anal if you would prefer to have just straight sex. Tell him that's off limits for now or for a special occasion or something. I can imagine that you have a little stress when you do have sex with him because you are so concerned about the issue. That's how I was. I was so worked up about him 'not wanting me' that I would be a wreck when we finally did have sex. Relax. Try and have fun with it. You said yourself that it's the emotional factor, so it doesn't have to be mind blowingly great sex. Make it fun, don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.

There are probably a number of things that are making your sex life difficult right now. Don't read too much into it. I know that, emotionally, it is a big deal, I've been there. But the only thing you can do is talk about it and try not to make it into an issue. Once it becomes an issue it makes things even harder, he gets the pressure to perform, you're anxious about it and it takes the fun right out of it.

If you guys are in love and your relationship is good in all other areas this will get worked out. Let me just say that my hubby and I have gotten past our indifference toward sex and not a night goes by when we aren't fooling around in one way or another, so it does get better. And better, and better and better, and.. . :D

I hope this helps. Good Luck!

You could try doing what me and my man do, it works for us, can't hurt to try..
Once per month we will have a night just for us, where we will do nothing but relax,get the logs on the fire, get a few drinks in, chill out and talk.
Obviously the talk is about sex, what we want to do more of, less of, things we want to try with each other that we haven't got a chance to do yet, it works for us.we get to find out what each of us likes and dislikes, what we both want in bed, without it being like a serious talk.
The mood is light, we have a lot of laughs, quality time together, and both get what we want out of sex. Try it...
As for the problem at hand, talking is your best bet, ask him why he won't have sex, only anal... I would have put a stop to the anal a long time ago and got him to explain why he doesn't want regular sex anymore. Talk, communicate with each other.

I think the fire is out and he is looking for a way out. You cannot live lie, kick him out before you REALLY get hurt. At your age you get over him and remember there are plenty of fish in the sea.:confused:

Working 50+ hours a week plus coming home to 3 young children is a lot of stress... I bet he has a lot more on his mind than he is leting you know. And it doesn't nessessarily mean he has issues with you or how you look.

TWO YEARS OLD.

Closed.