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-   -   Being too protective? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=95116)

  • May 23, 2007, 05:13 AM
    NikkiLovesYou44
    Being too protective?
    My last question had to do with my ex... now I need a little help with my current boyfriend. We've been dating for almost a month and he's great except for one thing... he flirts with EVERYONE. Everyone that I've talked to that knows him tell me that it's just part of his personality and that's the way he's always been, but I really hate it. To give an example, he'll tell girls about how "sexy" they look and he'll tell them that he "loves" them. The reason I know this is what he says is because he happens to say this while I'm standing right there, which is another problem all in itself. I don't really know if I should confront him about, ir if I'm just being wayyyy too protective of him. Suggestions?
  • May 23, 2007, 08:07 AM
    fix-what-you-broke
    It's a hard one really if he has always been that way you cannot change who he is, you could maybe ask him to tone it down a little when he is with you.
    Also maybe set up boundries with him and tell him the "i love you" part should be kept for his girlfriend.
  • May 23, 2007, 08:18 AM
    Synnen
    If that's the way he is, and you can't live with it, maybe you need to look for another boyfriend.

    I, too, am a complete flirt. I flirt with EVERYONE---male, female, young, old, whatever. It's part of my personality. If my husband could not live with that, I wouldn't be with my husband, because there's no way I'd change that for him.

    That being said, I have toned it down since we've been together. I would say that YES, you are being too possessive, but that you should realize that this is part of his personality.

    You'll need to talk to HIM to work out the kinds of boundaries for your relationship, but realize that you're asking him to be someone else if you ask him to change this completely.
  • May 23, 2007, 12:26 PM
    darkness1970us
    I hate to say this, but neither of you are wrong.

    This is part of his personality. Your discomfort is part of yours. I would say that you need to back off for a bit. Don't break things off with him, but don't get too serious. There may come a point where you decide that it isn't as big of a deal as you think. There may come a point where he decides that his flirtacious nature isn't as important to him as it used to be. I wouldn't push for either of you to change, however. If things work out, great. If not, it was never meant to be.
  • Aug 22, 2007, 09:00 PM
    flow_girl
    Its hard to say as you've only been dating him for a month. My boyfriends like that too. He's always saying hey babe to other girls and flirting but it is in his personality. At the start it use to get to me but since talking about it with him, his toned it down. Now everything is fine. Its about respect. If he loves you then he'll tone it down too or at least, he won't do it when your with him. Its incosiderate. You're his girlfriend not anyone else in the street, at the movies etc.

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