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-   -   What next after no contact? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=94850)

  • May 22, 2007, 05:50 AM
    Tyne26
    What next after no contact?
    Ive stuck by my word and never contacted me ex, she has always been the one to contact me. She said she hated the fact we couldn't be friends. She has emailed me to explain she was sorry for how things worked out but she was so confused in the head about things and she needed time away from guys. She would make comments saying she could pass my number onto a few girls who liked me but she thought I would already have a few on the go already. She then says that if she bumps in2 me on holiday she will try not to "hound" me.

    I don't know how to take these comments i.e. does she still like me, or is she just testing to see if I'm seeing someone? Or making out she thought I was seeing people to not make herself look bad for doing it?
    I know she is in contact with another guy and my gut tells me she is seeing him in some sort of casual way as that's all she seemed to want.

    She doesn't seems to contact me anymore and I'm just wondering if I she could have been asking to get back to seeing me in some sort of way and my no contact ways have forced her to give up? I know no contact is for me only but I'm wondering if anyone thinks that I may have not read her signals correctly that she wants to see one another again. My friend thinks I should ask her what she wants instead of protecting my pride, I really don't know what her comments mean??
  • May 22, 2007, 07:39 AM
    talaniman
    She wants you to call, so she can confuse you some more, and give you more false hope, and that stops you from moving on doesn't it? Keep the no contact no matter what she says, and it's a great idea, to stop taking her calls.That way you don't have to speculate about anything and won't be distracted by her BS and you can move on to better healthier things.
  • May 22, 2007, 07:43 AM
    Tyne26
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman
    She wants you to call, so she can confuse you some more, and give you more false hope, and that stops you from moving on doesn't it?? Keep the no contact no matter what she says, and its a great idea, to stop taking her calls.That way you don't have to speculate about anything and wont be distracted by her BS and you can move on to better healthier things.

    Thanks, I agree 100% with what your saying. She is with someone else now as far as I'm aware, I'm jealous of this and hate feeling this way, I find myself asking what is it about him that is better than me, silly but that's how I'm thinking
  • May 22, 2007, 08:02 AM
    talaniman
    Move on to better healthier things to do and you won't have time tripping on yourself.
  • May 22, 2007, 08:15 AM
    ceriphante
    You know I read your question and it stumps me just how many times I've read a similar question since joining this site, its as if all the guys that post here don't realise that some girls are just messed up and I still simply fail to understand what is so hard about just letting go of a relationship.. its obviously past its expiration date, let it go move on with your life and enjoy what you have dude seriously..

    You have no idea how many times I've read about how 'special' some person was to someone or how many times I've answered questions about an ex
    So I'll give it to you hard and fast.

    Never let a woman disrespect you

    Never bend yourself to the point you'll destroy yourself for her whim,
    If you progress past girlfriend to fiancée then to wife be willing to risk your life for her if hers is in danger and to fight yourself for her but until it gets that serious remember everything goes...

    If you want to be happy in life understand that you CHOOSE to be happy not just wait for someone to make you happy and most importantly
    Recognise when its over and think OK that was an interesting experience even if your confused by it and move on gaining life experience

    I mean if you stop and think about it the absolute best revenge on anyone in your life that has tried to hurt you or cause you pain is to be out of the sphere of their influence and live a happy life it proves to them just how impotent they are and bugs them more that they couldn't waste more of your time, some gals don't even realise they're being that way but you have to learn to recognise girls that ARE that way and set limits with them, even if the limit is not contacting her for the rest of your life so that she learns oh wait all the guys I meet keep cutting me out of their life I must be a real mean gal hahaha I enjoy it or.. oh wait I'm going to get old soon and be lonely omg I better wake up and realise what's going on... hopefully that was useful because there's my nights rant for you dude :)
  • May 22, 2007, 08:25 AM
    Tyne26
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ceriphante
    you know I read your question and it stumps me just how many times i've read a similar question since joining this site, its as if all the guys that post here don't realise that some girls are just messed up and I still simply fail to understand what is so hard about just letting go of a relationship.. its obviously past its expiration date, let it go move on with your life and enjoy what you have dude seriously..

    You have no idea how many times i've read about how 'special' some person was to someone or how many times i've answered questions about an ex
    so i'll give it to you hard and fast.

    never let a woman disrespect you

    never bend yourself to the point you'll destroy yourself for her whim,
    if you progress past girlfriend to fiancee then to wife be willing to risk your life for her if hers is in danger and to fight yourself for her but until it gets that serious remember everything goes...

    if you want to be happy in life understand that you CHOOSE to be happy not just wait for someone to make you happy and most importantly
    recognise when its over and think ok that was an interesting experience even if ur confused by it and move on gaining life experience

    I mean if you stop and think about it the absolute best revenge on anyone in your life that has tried to hurt you or cause you pain is to be out of the sphere of their influence and live a happy life it proves to them just how impotent they are and bugs them more that they couldn't waste more of your time, some gals don't even realise they're being that way but you have to learn to recognise girls that ARE that way and set limits with them, even if the limit is not contacting her for the rest of your life so that she learns oh wait all the guys i meet keep cutting me out of their life I must be a real mean gal hahaha i enjoy it or.. oh wait i'm gonna get old soon and be lonely omg I better wake up and realise whats going on... hopefully that was useful because theres my nights rant for you dude :)

    Thank you for this response it really makes a lot of sense. I think part of me as I have said in previous posts feel rejected and the ego has taken a dent lol. I ask myself what is wrong with me etc if she is the one with issues in her head then it makes me feel better as I don't take it as personally, but I don't know what was going on in her head and I certainky won't be chasing to find out the answers cause all I will get is some bull to change the subject.
  • May 22, 2007, 08:49 AM
    ceriphante
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Tyne26
    Thank you for this response it really makes a lot of sense. I think part of me as i have said in previous posts feel rejected and the ego has taken a dent lol. I ask myself what is wrong with me etc if she is the one with issues in her head then it makes me feel better as i dont take it as personally, but i dunno what was going on in her head and i certainky wont be chasing to find out the answers cause all i will get is some bull to change the subject.

    Ahhh glad to hear it, really glad :)
    You know even if you do chase her and get some kind of a half answer out of her it probably won't make you feel much better anyway eh... much better to move forwards

    Never accept less than what you deserve my friend and from what you've explained you deserve far better than what you've had so far... keep smilin' a year from now you'll probably look back at this conversation and laugh (I'd HOPE anyway! :P)
  • Sep 14, 2007, 02:40 PM
    vivia12
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ceriphante
    ahhh glad to hear it, really glad :)
    you know even if you do chase her and get some kind of a half answer out of her it probably won't make you feel much better anyway eh... much better to move forwards

    never accept less than what you deserve my friend and from what you've explained you deserve far better than what you've had so far... keep smilin' a year from now you'll probably look back at this conversation and laugh (I'd HOPE anyway!! :P)

    Ceriphante,how about for advise for women who are going through the same thing, does the same apply?

    Never let a guy disrespect you, etc.
  • Sep 15, 2007, 02:30 AM
    mckenzie134
    Spot on, never let a girl disrespect you, most guys have been great boyfriends and some not so, but then she decides hell maybe I can do better puts you on a break and you wonder what the hell is going on, you argue she says I'm confused which means " I dont want you but am confuised at how to get rid of you without looking mean"

    The best way is to agree she wants a break OK bye!! Very hard when yourve been attached for a long time but really what are you going to do!! Talk her back into the relationship she made her choice she will either stick with ot orrealise she made a mistake and ask for you back. In the mean time let her be let her go let her know you don't take that before she goes let her know there will be no break you have no patience for a break brak it off gain some self respect and leave her standing there on her own realising she has let the best guy go!! SIMPLE
  • Sep 24, 2007, 09:03 PM
    ceriphante
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by vivia12
    Ceriphante,how about for advise for women who are going through the same thing, does the same apply?

    never let a guy disrespect you, etc.

    Definitely Vivia!!
    There are some subtle differences generally in the modus operandi of guys and gals and sometimes they're reversed so it comes down to an individual level, but the real moral here is do not live with someone who disrespects you.

    Sorry about the delay!!
  • Sep 25, 2007, 06:29 PM
    vivia12
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ceriphante
    Definately Vivia!!!
    there are some subtle differences generally in the modus operandi of guys and gals and sometimes they're reversed so it comes down to an individual level, but the real moral here is do not live with someone who disrespects you.

    sorry about the delay!!!

    Just for that delay in replying, You must put the never let a male disrespect you version, come on, us gals needs it. :-)!

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