Ask Me Help Desk - I'm not over him

So you prob read my other posts, that I was having a problem with my boyfriend (the one who never calls, and is always is at his best friend) well we boke up 4 days ago :( :( and the reason for that is that he told me he lost feelings for me, and that it wouldn't be fair for me, if he stayed in this relationship if he didn't love me anymore. And also his commitment wasn't there. However, I was going to give it another try :( cause I didn't want to loose him so easily :( and it just hurtssssssss mee sooo much. I dun noe what to do, I know its over its just so hard to move on, were still friends but I hate having to see all these girls post on his Facebook and he posts on theirs lets chill and stuff. It seems like he got over me so fast, yet wve been together for 2 months and a half, and we were relli close, like I lost my virginity to him but we only did it once. K I dun regret it but this is a person who is hard to forget you know? I know I need to move on, and I am, I hang out with my friends, I see other guys, I saw his friends recently and we had fun together without him. And I always thought one of his frinds is cute, and now me and his frind are getting closer and were prob going to do something next weekend like see a movie, its just that I kind of miss kissing my ex boyfriend and cuddling and being with him and JUSTTT evrythingggggg, I know its not hard for me to get a guy, and I have guy friends who like me more as a friend, its just that I think there was something special about him, I misss himmmm, but were going to see each other soon I think, cause we agreed to remain friends. And I see it as if were relli meant to be then we will move on from friends, but I dun noe. Wat do you guys think I should do?? Please help! Thankss

Give it two weeks and you should be over him. Two months is not a long time because I have heard of guys losing feelings after 6 years an it is hard, VERY hard then. Something similar happened with me and I had been with him a long time and all I could think of was how I waisted all of my many years with him so be very happy that you did not waist time building a relationship with that loser. Yes it will be much easier for guys to move on but not some, not the ones who truly love you and would not leave you in the first place. I know that two months may seem like forever but trust me the pain will go away and he will no longer be on your mind and you will move on and not cry anymore. You will be much happier and find someone that you can hopefully spend your life with so don't be sad but try and focus on the future and not him. Just give it time because time heals all wounds! And also No it is isn't fair for him to stay in a relationship in which he has no feelings for you because it is not fair for you and it will hurt you a lot WORSE if he stays with you and leaves you later on after you have loved him more, and invested time in the relationship. Be glad that he let you go now instead of later, or instead of cheating or other things that would be too painful to you later on down the road.

Thanks a lot <3 yee I'm starting yto get over him, I guess it hust takes time, but were still friends so that's at least good, any more opinions?

I agree with Brandy.

You did the right thing. If it wasn't working now, just look at the future. It's time to move on now. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by undermyumbrella

soo u prob read my other posts, that i was having a problem with my bf (the one who never calls, and is always is at his best friend) well we boke up 4 days ago :( :( and the reason for that is that he told me he lost feelings for me, and that it wouldnt be fair for me, if he stayed in this relationship if he didnt love me anymore. And also his commitment wasnt there. However, i was gonna give it another try :( cause i didnt wanna loose him so easily :( and it just hurtssssssss mee sooo much. I dun noe wat to do, i know its over its just soo hard to move on, were still friends but i hate having to see all these gurls post on his facebook and he posts on theirs lets chill and stuff. It seems like he got over me soo fast, yet wve been together for 2 months and a half, and we were relli close, like i lost my virginity to him but we only did it once. K i dun regret it but this is a person who is hard to forget u know? I know i need to move on, and i am, I hang out with my friends, i see other guys, I saw his friends recently and we had fun together without him. And I always thought one of his frinds is cute, and now me and his frind are getting closer and were prob gonna do something next weekend like see a movie, its just that i kinda miss kissing my ex bf and cuddling and being with him and JUSTTT evrythingggggg, i know its not hard for me to get a guy, and i have guy friends who like me more as a friend, its just that i think there was something special about him, i misss himmmm, but were gonna see each other soon i think, cause we agreed to remain friends. And i see it as if were relli meant to be then we will move on from friends, but i dun noe. Wat do u guys think i should do???? plss help! thankss

My rule of thumb is cry for three days. Get sick for three days... After about two weeks you will wonder why you wasted your energy on such a jerk that obviously could care less. Stay single - you are young... You do not need a man - have fun.

Evryone tells me just to take a break... but were friends and I talk to him the phone and msn sometimes... and its relli hard you know, I just sometimes can't stop thinking about him, he was a great guy and I miss being loved by him. But thanks guys, I know ill get over him and find a better guy its just we have so many memories together and their hard to forget or keep out of my head, and my 2 dance shows are tmw and he promised he would come and watch but now he's not cause we broke up, and it just devestates me. And I asked him if he hooked up with any girls cxause he went to a party on Saturday, and he said he was about to, but he didn't. What do you think changed his mind?

I think he probably lied so he didn't hurt your feelings. I think you should reconsider being friends with him. I think at least until you are over him. I had to do that a few times - out of sight out of mind - and it works. Just keep busy, but stop talking to him for now...

Thanks guys <3 does that book really work? I'm considering to buy it... well I asked his friend who was with him that night at the party... and he said he didn't hook up with anyone. So I guess that makes me feel better, and even today when I was talking to him on msn and then I left but my user was put to away he left a mesage: ye sry I can see you this weekend I really want to, but I'm either going to the cottage (wich he told me about long before) or spending time with my dad (cause his parents are divored) and he's like gudnite ill ttyl byee.. even though he knew I wasn't there it still shows a lot that he al least cares about me some what. And there's this new guy... well kind of he's my ex bf's friend and me and him had connections long way back when me and my boyfriend were together, and we talk now and I guess we mite see each other this weekend... and I get the feeling he kind of likes me... so do you think I should just go for him and forget about my ex boyfriend, except I know what to fix in relationships now since I learned so much frommy previous one it was my first serious one and that's y I can't forget him :( ORRRRR should I just take time to myself... and forget about guys... and maybe hope that me and my ex boyfriend will maybe go up from being friends, maybe he will missssss meeeee after some time (this does not agranteee ill take him back,prob wont) but if I go out with his friend or something he mite feel akward about it. WOW so many questions sryyyyy guys. BUT I have noo clue what to dooo...

If definitely worked for me. It teaches you how to look at things on a different level. It teaches you how to evaluate ANYONE that you are trying to get over and how not to fall into the same traps over and over again. I've been telling all of my friends about it. It's a quick read. It's like a workbook. You can actually preview some of the pages.

Who thinks I should start seeing his friend? And then maybe my ex will realize what he lost...